


Daydreams

by Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Prostitution, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:24:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 64,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22940176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: This is a story of growing up but staying young, of losing yourself and finding each other, of friendship and love and the pain that comes with it.After fleeing from his alcohol-addicted father, Jace ends up in the streets of London, living the hard life of a homeless kid. Still, he fights for his dreams and does everything to achieve them. Will he be able to meet his fate and become one of the greatest fighters in the Shadow World?Meanwhile, Alec has to learn some hard truths about his idolized father. Born and raised to honor the Lightwood name, what will he do when he has do decide between love and family duty?After a long and exhausting fight for Downworlder rights Magnus is tired of loving and caring, building up walls around him, which keep all feelings at bay. Will he be able to trust others again to tear down these walls?The dubious consent tag and the implied rape/non-con tag do not refer to any interactions between Jace/Magnus or Jace/Alec or Jace/Magnus/Alec. All sexual interactions between the main characters are completely sound and consensual.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Jace Wayland
Comments: 147
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For OliviaLuzia, who encouraged me to write this specific story and helped me - again - to sort out some Shadowhunter stuff. Thank you so much darling 😘

**I am not what happened to me, I am who I choose to become**

C.G. Jung

Jace hated himself for being so stupid. He truly couldn’t understand how he had fallen for it. For him. Yet, he knew. His fingers had felt so soft and tender on his touch-starved skin, his words had felt so good on his passion-starved heart, his promises had felt so true on his love-starved soul. So he had went with it, believed everything the man had said, sucked up every tiny bit of hope the man had offered him.

Jace shivered, he had forgotten to grab his jacket in his rush to flee from the laughter, to flee from the humiliation, to run from the man he thought could be his future, from the man who had promised love but delivered pain. He had just used him like all the other men who had paid for his body, whereas the man had taken it for free. Because Jace had let him.

The past weeks had been different, nicer than the weeks and months before, since his decision to run away from his abusive, alcohol-addicted father. He had not had the courage to face his father any longer, never knowing in which mood he was, if Jace was going to be beaten or if he was supposed to act as a Shadowhunter. A Nephilim. A desperate laugh tried to escape Jace’s throat. He was the child of a fucking Angel, whatever that meant. He wandered what the Angel thought right now of his fallen child, leaning on a dirty wall in a dirty alley at the middle of the night, waiting for his life to continue one way or the other.

With trembling hands he pulled out a cigarette, the last one of course, and lit it up, inhaling deeply the soothing blue smoke. He kicked away the empty gin bottle, looking satisfied as it shattered in 1000 pieces around him. The man, Adam, had created a vision of hope for him, which he had fallen for, despite better knowledge. But it had been nice to sleep in a real bed again, it had been nice to have someone to come home to. It had been too good to be true and now he was facing the consequences. He rested his head on the wall, considering his options. The smart thing to do would be to go back to the other street kids he had been living with since he had turned his back to Idris and his father and headed towards London. They had been kind to him, a sort of family hold together by loneliness and fear. Especially after they had seen what he was capable of he had been more than welcome. Even without his runes he was stronger than most and he had no problems with using his angelic power against intruders. They had shared their fragile dreams with him, their street knowledge, their alcohol, their drugs. He had offered his protection in return. After the first couple of weeks living on the street, thinking he had nothing left, he had realized that this was not true. His body had always been and still was his most valuable asset. He knew quite well how he looked and how to use it as a weapon, nearly as deadly as a blade. The others taught him the prices, the things to do – how to relax his throat, how to prepare himself so that it didn’t hurt as much, to use protection – and the things to avoid – being too desperate, going with several men at the same time, these kind of things. What they forgot to tell him was not to fall for a punter, but he assumed that they had considered it a given. Not everyone was stupid enough to still believe in the good things.

The first couple of times had been hard. It had not been easy to swallow down his pride and swallow other things instead. But he was a Herondale, giving up had never been an option. Yet, he was grateful that one of the other boys, Derek, had been the one to take his virginity. They hadn’t loved each other or something sappy like that, but they had liked each other well enough and he preferred Derek over a stranger a hundred times. They had both been drunk, but Derek had been surprisingly gentle and Jace had even liked it, finding pleasure in the way the other boy slammed into him, their bodies connecting in an intimate way for a brief moment, helping him to pretend they were intimate on another level, too.

He had been prepared, but nevertheless the first times had been difficult. The first time he had knelt in front of a stranger, opening his mouth to let the man enter, he had had to fight the urge to bite and throw up at the same time. The first time he had bent over to let a man fuck him he had pressed his eyes shut so forcefully that tears had prickled in the corner of his eyes and his hands had been clutched into fists so tightly that there had been imprints of his finger nails the next day. He had been glad for the alcohol to sooth his nerves and numb his feelings. He knew alcohol was a tricky friend. Too much and it became your worst enemy, he had seen it with his father, he saw it with these kids.

Stephen Herondale had never been a model father, but he had been a great warrior, a skilled fighter the Shadow World had once feared, until he had become a rip-off of the men he used to be, his hands curled around a bottle rather than around a seraph blade. Jace didn’t idolize his early childhood, it had been harsh, it had been cruel sometimes, but at least it had been predictable. If he had followed the rules, his father had been proud of him. If he had failed, he had been punished. Easy, understandable, reliable. After the Dark War, during which Stephen Herondale had managed to choose the losing side, the first time in Herondale family history, Stephen had turned into a shadow. His wife and Jace’s mother, Céline, had not been able to live with the shame of losing her good reputation, the family money and the power the Herondale name once had brought, and had therefore taken her own life. Her suicide had been the final blow to push Stephen over the edge and towards real addiction. Stephen lost himself in his self-hatred, rage and alcohol, forgetting about his only son most of the time, only to remember him to feel superior again, beating the young boy bloody with his belt or crop. The worst thing was that Jace could never predict when his father would strike and what for.

For that reason, Jace was cautious with alcohol and drugs, he never wanted to end up like his father. Despite him living on the streets, selling his body to the highest bidder, he still had dreams, but when he looked around, all kids had them. He hoped his dream was not as worn-out as the others he heard the kids repeat like a prayer over and over again, hoping that saying it enough times would be enough to make them come true.

He wanted to go to the Shadowhunter Academy, an Academy exclusive for the most capable Shadowhunters. The Acadmey trained the strongest warriors until they became 18. Afterwards, they were adult and fully-trained, but the best were allowed to carry on with their education for one more year to become the true leaders of the Shadow World. He yearned to complete his training there, meeting other skilled fighters, becoming one of the Elite Shadowhunters, having a purpose. The downside of the Academy was the high attendance fee, the reason his father had never allowed him to go. But this was what his body was for, he would earn enough money for the tuition fee.

He was glad that the Academy was based in America, far away from home, he couldn’t imagine that they even had heard of his family name and even less plausible, cared about it. The Dark War had only taken place in Europe, he doubted the Shadowhunters overseas knew much about who fought on which side. He wanted a clean sheet once he entered his dream. He had been determined to follow through with his plan no matter what, until he had met Adam. Adam with his warm blue eyes and soft pink lips, which told him the sweeties lies of love and redemption, of passion and lust. Until the blue had turned into ice and the lips into a sneer, laughing at the boy who had stupidly believed every word.

The ash of the smoked down cigarette burned Jace’s finger, snapping his mind back to the present. Suddenly he felt the cold again, making him shiver in his thin top. He really needed to get going. He was just about to leave the place when an expensive looking black sports car approached him. Jace swallowed hard, but approached the opening window nevertheless. He bent down a little and looked at the man inside. His eyes narrowed when he saw who was sitting inside, his heartbeat catching up a notch. He heard the kids in his head telling him the dos and don’ts again. He knew he was too desperate. He knew it was a mistake, because in the car was not only sitting an average mundane who he could overpower pretty easily with his runes, but a warlock. Never get involved with a magical being had been high on his “don’t list”, one which he had kept to himself for obvious reasons. He had shagged the occasional Shadowhunter, they just paid too decently to not go for it from time to time, but had always avoided warlocks. They were just too powerful. But to hell with the dos and don’ts, he was cold, he was desperate, he was hurt and honestly right then he didn’t give a fuck. So he opened the door and slipped into the warmness of the car. Soundlessly, the window slid shut.


	2. Chapter 2

**A couple of weeks earlier**

Alec’s eyes widened in surprise, excitement boiling up in his stomach, settling into a small ball of fire. His father had never taken him onto a business trip before, not even to smaller ones throughout the U.S. That his father wanted Alec to accompany him to one of the major Clave Meetings in London meant the world to him. Alec had always hoped to follow his father into his footsteps one day, leading an Institute or filling a political position within the Clave. From time to time he had doubted his abilities, especially as his parents had rather pointed out his flaws than encouraged and praised his strong sides. But he had trained harder, studied harder than any other Shadowhunter he knew and step by step he had grown into his own expectations. To find out that also his father considered him fit enough to attend an official meeting made Alec proud beyond words. The meeting in London was restricted to Shadowhunters only to discuss their further approach towards the Downworld. A few weeks later, a huge meeting with the leaders of the Downworld would take place, also in London, to discuss the possibility to renew the Accords. Before the Dark War, the Accords had been in place all over the world, but the War had put an end to the alliance, at least in Europe. They needed to negotiate new terms, which was not easy. A lot Shadowhunters were prejudiced against Downworlders, still considering them inferior. The U.S and the rest of the world were a step further, as there had been no war, the Accords were still intact and the relationships between Nephilim and Downworlders closer. Not always amicable, but respectful most of the time. That was the reason Robert Lightwood was invited to the pre-meeting, he was supposed to show the European part of the Clave how to best deal with the Downworld.

Alec felt proud that the Clave had chosen his father for this diplomatic mission. He knew how much Downworlder rights meant to Robert. From childhood on, Alec and his siblings had been admonished to treat Downworlders respectfully. The Lightwoods had no real friends among them, but the alliance between the Institute and the local Vampire clan leaders, the High Warlock, the Werewolves Alphas and even the Seelies was a strong one, each side helping the other out. That this hadn’t went by without the Clave noticing and approving of it, made Alec even more determined to follow Robert in his shoes. That they acknowledged his family’s achievement meant a lot to the 17 year old boy.

Alec could barely hide his excitement when he gathered the things he might need for the trip. Izzy pouted a little, as she had to stay behind with their mother and their little brother Max. Only the prospect of him bringing a gift from London cheered up her mood. When he saw the devious smile on her face, he felt a bit let on, probably she had put on a show to guilt trip him into buying her something. But instead of being mad, he just ruffled her hair, he had never been one to say no to his little sister. He just hoped he met her taste, unlike Izzy he hated shopping and had no sense for fashion whatsoever.

As the London Institute was crowded with Shadowhunters from all over Europe, Alec and his father had to take a motel room nearby. Alec didn’t mind that much, he had never been in a motel before and considered it a good experience. A local warlock would portal them back and forth.

The meeting itself was a bit of a disappointment to Alec. Especially the first day was tiring and most part of the time was wasted with chatting to different people, talking about this or that, mostly not even related to the initial purpose. But Robert explained to him the importance of small talk, of networking and so Alec smiled and tried his best to keep up with the conversations, trying to make his father proud. But if he was honest, if this was how politics worked all the time, he doubted it was his line of field. He had never been good with words, especially when he didn’t know his conversational partner very well, but he was willing to learn for his father’s sake.

Both Lightwoods were exhausted after the day, but Alec remembered his promise and headed out to find something for Izzy, leaving Robert alone in their shared motel room. It was nice exploring a new city on his own, following the masses to different places and letting himself get lost in the sensation that he didn’t need to be anywhere or needed to patrol the city. He was just a guest and could enjoy what the city had to offer. In Harrods he found a nice shop assistant who helped him pick something, to be on the safe side he chose a blue scarf and a new necklace.

When he returned to the motel, he felt tired, but a satisfied tiredness, not the bone-deep exhaustion he had felt after the in his opinion fruitless Clave meeting. Their apartment consisted of two rooms, one small living room with a tiny kitchen and one bedroom with two narrow beds. The lights in the living room were still on, but Robert was nowhere to be seen, the whole apartment lay in a weary quietness. Assuming his father had already gone to bed, he shrugged of his boots and jackets and opened silently the door to the bedroom to not disturb his father. Mercifully, the door opened without a noise. What he saw inside the room, made Alec freeze all over. He just stood there, frozen in place and time, watching in shock what happened inside the room. His mouth hang open, forming a silent o. He blinked a few times as if this helped to chase away the image in front of him. But, of course, the scenery didn’t change.

His father was leaning at the opposite wall, eyes pressed shut, a soft gasp escaping his mouth. His trousers were undone and shoved to his ankles. Before him knelt a blond boy in way too tight trousers and a way too small top. Robert’s hand was entangled in the boy’s hair, holding him firmly in place while his hips thrusted forward into the boy’s mouth.

Alec suppressed the gurgling sound he wanted to make and as soon as he was able to pull him out of his shock, he closed the door again, grabbed his boots and flew the room. Most probably he had stood there just for a few seconds, but he knew he would never forget the image of his father receiving a blow job. From a boy. A boy who seemed not older than himself. When he reached the lobby he tried to calm himself, fighting his body instincts to run away further. He slipped into an armchair, trying his best to even his hitched breath. After a few minutes, he heard the ping of the elevator. The blond boy entered the lobby, tugging away a bundle of notes. Sensing his presence, the blond turned around, briefly locking eyes with him. A small frown appeared on his face before he turned away, heading to the exit. Alec couldn’t help but notice the angelic features, the dark runes on his skin and the beautiful mismatched eyes, slightly glazed over by some kind of drug or alcohol. That boy was a Shadowhunter, just like him. Alec couldn’t remember how long he sat in the armchair and just stared at the door, through which the boy had left. He had no idea how he was supposed to face his father ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All kudos & comments are loved & cherrished.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus’ blood was boiling with rage and humiliation. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his hands clasped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white and he was nearly not able to drive his newest toy anymore, a splendid Porsche 911 Carrera. Not that the warlock needed a car, but he just loved the feeling of 450 PS under him, the aggressive roaring of the engine when he pressed down the gas pedal was music in his ears. This time the cruise did nothing to calm his anger. He was infuriated, partly with himself for believing the European Clave could change, mostly with the Clave itself. The proudly announced meeting with high-ranking Clave diplomats and the unofficial Downworld delegation had been a farce, not even a well-played one at that. The Shadowhunters had barely hidden their true line of thinking and the requirements towards the Downworld had been ridiculous. They had had the nerve to ask them to chip themselves, as if they were dogs! To compare this to the ability to track Shadowhunters via their runes had requested balls, Magnus had to admit that. And it had required a high amount of stupidity, but the Clave never ran short of that. He wandered why the Clave had bothered with that meeting at all, when they clearly had no intention to set up the Accords again in a way, where everyone was considered equal.

The dinner after the negotiations had been even worse. The forced conversation and politeness had made Magnus sick and had left him ordering one or two drinks too many. He was used to drinking alcohol, but he had to admit that he felt it pulsating through his blood. After the food, everyone had excused themselves rather quickly, Magnus among the first to go. But as he unfortunately had forgotten his scarf, a red Valentino one at that, he had returned to fetch it. He kind of wished he hadn’t, as what he had discovered than had surprised even him. When he walked into the room again where they had eaten, the personnel was busy throwing away all empty glasses and plates the Downworld delegation had eaten from. Not cleaning them. _Throwing them away_! As if being a Downworlder somehow was contagious and the Shadowhunters would get infected by eating form the same plate than a werewolf or warlock.

Magnus was so caught up in his feelings that he nearly missed the boy leaning on the wall in a run down area, a couple of streets away from his apartment. It was not the boy’s beauty, which he had to admit was stunning , which caught Magnus’ eyes. It were his black runes, which were carefully carved in his delicate flesh, standing in a harsh contrast to his pale skin. He was certain a mundane would detect nothing but tattoos, but Magnus saw behind easily through this glamour. The blond boy wore not the typical gear of a Shadowhunter, but the uniform of a hustler. Tight faded jeans with a mesh top and despite the cold breeze, no jacket. It was this what made Magnus slow down, stop the car and lower the window. After a short conversation the boy slid in next to him, a little smile played around the warlock’s lips. He could still feel the humiliation raging through his body. But he would have his revenge.

***

Jace entered the Porsche with a queasy feeling in his stomach. He had requested a ridiculous high amount of money from the warlock and the man had agreed without batting an eye, a fact which did nothing to put his stomach at ease. He even had doubled the amount for Jace to stay the whole night. Jace had agreed, with that money he was very close to reaching his goal, having enough to pay for the Academy and making up for the time he had wasted with Adam. They hadn’t talked about Jace’s boundaries and he knew that was a mistake. Sometimes he wandered if he had always been that reckless, but part of him knew that the warlock could step over his boundaries anyway without losing one drop of sweat. And he saw the expression in the other’s eyes and knew the other was on the war path. But he couldn’t bring himself to care at that moment what would happen to him. He even hoped the outer pain would chase away the inner, stopping his foolish heart from aching. And maybe he was wrong anyway, even if he liked to consider himself rather capable at reading another person’s intention, he had been wrong in the past. Terribly wrong, but he really didn’t want to go down that road now, though he knew his hand was clutching the tiny white finger nail shaped scars on his hips without his permission.

They drove the short distance in silence, the roaring of the engine drowning their mutual weariness. After parking the car, Magnus created a portal and they stepped through it. Jace couldn’t help but be impressed at the easiness with witch the warlock did his magic and with what implicitness, they just could have taken the elevator.

Jace looked around, finding himself in a tasteful equipped living room. He shoved his hands in his pocket, trying to hide his nervousness. He had never been in such a rich looking loft and he had to compose himself to not stare in awe. The warlock strolled over to a bar, pouring himself a drink. The tense shoulder line showed that he was still angry, very angry, but Jace had no idea why – and he had also no idea why in hell he had agreed to enter that damn car, but now it was too late. He straightened up, determined to not let his fear show. “How old are you?” the question took Jace a bit by surprise, it was the first thing the warlock had said to him since their negotiations. Jace sucked at his bottom lip, that was always a tricky question. Some liked him even younger than he actually was. Other needed the assurance that he was at least an adult. It was always a bit like gambling, but he went for adult this time. “I’m 19. Do I also get a drink?” Magnus rose a questioning eyebrow but let it slide. Jace suspected the warlock didn’t quite believe him. Jace knew he didn’t really look older than he was, 16 that was, soon turning 17. But he also knew that normally the kind of people who picked up boys at street corners didn’t look too close.

“You’re too young to drink.” Jace just huffed, he had noticed the slight accent, but despite the laws in other countries, in England the legal drinking age was 18.

“It’s England, mate. I’m old enough to do whatever I want. Besides, I just realized I forgot two of my birthdays. I’m 21 if you like that better” he said with a wink, but then Jace realized that the warlock just had teased him, as he had already poured him a drink, holding the glass with golden liquor in his direction. Magnus couldn’t help the grin on his face, he quite liked the blond’s cockiness.

Jace downed it with one go, the burning helping him to relax. When he looked at the warlock he saw the same reaction, his shoulders had dropped slightly and his expression had softened. Jace suppressed the sigh of relief; maybe this was not going to be a disaster after all.

“So how do you want me, warlock?” Jace really hadn’t meant it as an insult, but the moment the word had left his mouth and he saw the reaction, he knew he was screwed, figuratively and soon literally.

Magnus’ head jerked up, the anger boiling up in a heartbeat at the use of the word. This little brat dared to address him disrespectfully in his own home. After an evening of humiliation, small attacks against him and his kind, this was the last drop, which made him snap. Without thinking twice, he lunged at the boy, throwing him at the next wall with his magic, curling one hand tightly around his throat and holding him there, staring at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

Jace stood very still, he forced his body not to move. Against every other opponent, he would have ativate his runes now and start to fight, but he knew it would be a fruitless struggle and most probably, it would enrage the warlock only more. Jace forced himself to think. Would an apology do? He really hadn’t meant to insult the man, he was not stupid, was he. Besides, he had nothing against Downworlders.

The times where he had been too proud to beg were long gone, Jace begged for anything money could buy. For a cock inside his ass or inside his mouth, for someone to stop or someone to fuck him harder, for everything they wanted to hear, he didn’t care anymore. He would beg now, if he just knew what for. But the warlock just stood there, holding him in place by pushing him against a wall, his hand around his throat, pressing down slightly but not so much he couldn’t breath anymore. The moment he decided to go with the universal “please”, the moment the warlock flashed his real eyes at him and that left him breathless for a moment. Not the hand around his neck, but the beautiful yellow cat eyes. Before he could stop himself, he heard himself stutter. “They’re beautiful.”

Magnus frowned and hesitated for a moment, trying to understand what the boy in front of him just had said. He was impressed how still the boy stood, not struggling but also not showing any sign of fear, even though he was in such a submissive position. He had looked him straight in the face the whole time. Just now, when the words had left his mouth, words spoken from the heart with the unmistakable amazement of a child in them, he blushed slightly and turned his gaze down. This snapped Magnus out of his trance immediately, he pulled away his hand in an instant and forced his magic to calm down and retreat. He avoided looking the boy in the eyes, this time not rage boiling in his veins but shame. This was not him, this was not who he wanted to be.

“I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean to scare or harm you.” He took several steps back, giving the blond space. The young Shadowhunter looked at him in surprise, clearly not having expected that turn of events. His hand went quickly to his throat but settled then on his hip. He breathed out loudly.

“Hard day?” he asked, a small grin coming to his face. Magnus stared at him for a moment and then laughed sadly.

“You could say that. But I really want to apologize. No hard day excuses what I have done and was about to do.” Magnus went back to the bar, refilling their classes before he settled down on the coach, his head resting on his hands. Jace followed slowly, sitting down next to the warlock. He took a sip, carefully, evaluating the new situation.

“So tell me about your hard day. I’m Jace by the way.” Jace offered after a moment.

“Magnus. Ah well, it shouldn’t have taken me off guard, but it had. I had a meeting with the Clave and they were their usual charming selves.”

“Oblivious, indignant petty bastards?” Jace looked at him, a true smirk now on his lips. “And you thought taking out your revenge on a fallen Shadowhunter would be a great move? Next time I would try the Head of the Institute or someone like that, not someone they would spat on anyway if they knew I existed.”

“Agreed, it was not one of my best plans. But can you accept my apology?” Jace looked at Magnus, the earnest in his eyes and voice making him feel a little warmer inside. “Yes. Besides, I could feel your anger and still got in your car.”

“And why would you do something stupid like that?”

Jace snorted. “Rough day as well. I don’t know. I just wanted to feel different than I was feeling back then, so you were a welcome distraction. And I need the money.” Magnus hummed in agreement, getting the hint. “You get your money, don’t worry. What do you need it for actually? Drugs? Alcohol?”

Jace hesitated, he had never spoken with anyone about his dream, and he was not sure if he wanted to start today, if he was ready to be laughed at. “No, not really. It’s for… Never mind.” Magnus just looked at him, waited, taking a sip from time to time. His eyes kept Jace’s and the blond felt himself blush under the intense gaze.

“Why do you care?” Magnus shrugged, he couldn’t really tell. He had had his walls around his heart up for so long, bottling up his feelings, hiding behind parties, cocktails and the occasional fling. His fruitless attempts to better the situation for the Downworld in Europe, the Dark War itself, but even more the way the Clave treated him now, after they had fought side by side in this war, had worn him down, turning his heart slowly, gradually into stone. He had seen it with other, older warlocks. They had closed off their hearts and souls to the extend that they just survived but stopped living, forgetting how love and compassion felt like. And without love there was no relationship possible, no friendship, no real joy. Once the process started, there was nearly no way back. Magnus hadn’t realized he was heading down this road until today. That he had been capable of picking up a boy from the streets, thinking of using him – he shuddered, the shame burning deep inside him. There was no excuse for his behavior, even though the boy seemed rather unfazed by the situation, a circumstance which, made Magnus not feel better, the opposite was the case. He also realized, that the blond had stirred something in him, causing his walls to crack. Just a tiny, little crack, but this was more than had happened in years. So the answer to the simple question was not a simple one. He shrugged, letting out a silent sigh.

“I don’t know. Maybe I can help getting it.” He twirled his fingers, sparks of blue magic emerging from them.

Jace laughed. “You would magic me drugs? Really?”

Magnus huffed. “Of course not you little brat. Besides, how old are you really. And don’t lie to me again, Jace.”

Jace looked at him, contemplating his options. “16.”

Magnus was still for quite a time. He had been aware that the blond was not 19, but 16 was… unexpected young. Too young to do what the blond seemed to be doing for quite a while now. He stood up, took the drink from Jace’s hands without listening to his protests. “Come on, get up.” Jace looked at him through hooded eyes, all of a sudden his open gaze replaced by a blank expression. “Sure. You’ve paid for it, haven’t you” he tried to add in a light tone, but Magnus heard the edge to it.

“I’m tired, Jace, I want to go to sleep. I’ll show you the guest room and your bathroom. I can conjure you something to sleep in if you want?” Jace looked at him in surprise.

“So you don’t…” 

“No, definitely not. I know you must think that I’m just like everyone else, but truly, I’m not. I meant my apology and I really want to make it up to you. This was not me, at least I’d like to think that. I had too much alcohol, I was humiliated too much that day and you calling me warlock just made something snap inside of me. That doesn’t excuse anything, I know. So if you want you can sleep here, but if you want to leave I can portal you wherever you want.” He hold out a hand with a bundle of notes in it. Jace chewed on his bottom lip, but then he took the money and looked up.

“Pyjamas would be nice. And a tooth brush may be.”

“Definitely a tooth brush. You can use everything in the bathroom, shampoo, lotion, whatever you like. Goodnight Jace.” With a snap of his fingers a blue pyjamas bottom appeared together with a matching shirt.

“You’re not worried that I steal something and run?” Jace sounded a bit surprised. Magnus turned around and cocked an eyebrow.

“Will you?”

“No.”

“See. Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos & comments are greatly appreciated.   
> I hope it is understandable why Magnus acted briefly like he did, I definitely don't want to portrait him like a mean character, just a troubled one like everybody else.


	4. Chapter 4

Breakfast the next morning should have been awkward, but it was far from it. Jace watched as Magnus made breakfast, sipping a latte macchiato from the local barista. Making breakfast meant that Magnus conjured several dishes from several pubs like eggs, bacon, waffles.

“Are you paying for those?”

“Er. Of course I do.” The open smirk gave Magnus away, but Jace was the last to care.

“Thug life.” At that, the older man just laughed.

It felt good to share something so simple as a breakfast, a laugh, a story. Despite his age, Jace seemed more major than many grown-ups. Street life did that to you, Magnus supposed. It was surprisingly easy to talk to the blond, Magnus mused. The banter they shared was never forced, but the one between old friends, Magnus really enjoyed Jace’s company.

Yet, after breakfast, Jace started to become restless, his knee began to bump up and down and he avoided to look at Magnus.

“You can stay as long as you want.”

“Why?”

Magnus shrugged again, making a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. Jace frowned. Part of him wanted to stay, so badly, but he had still his fiasco with Adam in mind, which had left him vulnerable, but not broken, as he stated now. He had gone one whole evening without thinking of him, he would go another day. And than another and another. But he would not let himself be talked into something similar again, so soon after that. He really wanted to stay but he feared there was a catch. There was always a catch when it came to good things in life.

“I have to go.”

Magnus sighed, but nodded. He had expected this, nevertheless he was surprised at the ball of disappointment which settled in his belly.

“Take care of yourself, Jace.”

“You too, Magnus. You’re not a bad person.”

Jace shut the door behind him and stood there for several minutes, leaning against the closed door, before he finally pulled himself together and headed towards the elevator. He tried to swallow down the feeling that he had made a huge mistake.

***

Jace went back to the run down house he had lived before Adam had shown up and messed with him. He identified a few newcomers among the other kids. A plain unimpressive boy and a pretty girl who seemed out of place with her expensive looking clothes, but when Jace saw her eyes he knew she was part of them, lost and waiting to be found. But returning to them just made Jace realize that _he_ felt out of place out of a sudden. After the few weeks apart they greeted him like he had never been away in the first place, but also no one bothered to ask him what he had been through or what had happened. Maybe they were not so much family after all, or considering his blood family, where neither of his parents had given a damn about him, they were too much like a real one.

Jace couldn’t help his thoughts wandering off to Magnus, the way he had felt in his presence. Safe, he had felt safe, even if that sounded a bit crazy even to his own ears, given the circumstances they had met. But truth be told, he didn’t believe that the warlock had really meant to harm him, he believed his apology.

Seeing Derek snogging the new girl gave the final push. He really wasn’t in love with Derek, but somehow Derek had always been his to hang out with, to snog and cuddle for the night, even though both of them had never acknowledged this any further. And, he had to give Derek this, he had been the one to leave to go live with Adam in the first place.

Jace stood in front of the tower block were Magnus apartment was located, chewing his bottom lip. It had sounded like a great idea and his feet had found their way back here without him having to think about it, but now he was not so sure anymore. Sure, the warlock had offered him to stay in a moment of self-loathing and weakness, but had he truly meant it? Jace doubted it, the simple question “why” nagging at him, as the warlock had stated clearly that he was not after his body any longer. But what else did he had to offer?

Maybe he would have turned around and just went back to the others, if not an elderly lady had asked him for his help to hold the door open. He complied, of course, and then just followed her inside to take the elevator to the top floor, as if his feet truly had a will of their own. When the elevator arrived, he stepped out of it, clutching nervously his duffle bag. His hands were slightly slippery, he tried to wipe them clean at his trousers. To his surprise, the door to Magnus apartment swung open without him having to ring the bell or knock. Tentatively he stepped in, Magnus was nowhere to be seen.

“Hello? Magnus?”

The warlock appeared from his bedroom, just wearing a sweat pant and a tank top, apparently he had been working out, judging by the thin layer of sweat covering his upper boy. He looked at Jace in surprise and then to the door, which had closed again without Jace remembering doing it.

“That’s interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

“My wards. It seems they have recognized you and let you in on their own will. That happens… like never.”

“Oh. And they shouldn’t have? Let me in, I mean.”

Magnus looked from the door back to Jace to the duffle bag the boy was clutching, still clearly puzzled by what was going on. “No that is fine. I see you came to stay.” He crossed his arms and looked intensely at Jace.

“Uhm. No. Yes, I mean. If the offer still stands.” Jace blushed under Magnus’ gaze. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed that. I can go.”

“No, Jace, please stay. My offer still stands. I have enough space, I could do with company, you seem like fun to have around. But if you stay, there are some rules.”

“What rules?”

“First, no nosing in my potions. All magical ingredients are absolutely off-limits, unless I supervise it. Second, you clean up behind yourself. Third, no alcohol.” At that Jace huffed a little, but he could go without, he was not an addict. “Fourth, and that’s the most important. You have to stop whoring yourself out.”

Jace crossed his arms, glaring at the older man. “It’s my body, I can decide what to do with it. And I need the money.”

“It’s true, it is your body. And if you want to go on, feel free. You know where the door is. But you cannot make me believe that it’s actually your free choice. You did what you had to do to survive, I get that, believe me, I do. But you don’t enjoy it. And for the money part, I am sure we will find another way for you to earn it. You can help me with my business and I pay you for that. Or something similar, we’ll figure something out. I’m not short of money, don’t worry.” He waved at the huge apartment. Magnus expression was stern, but with a soft edge to it. He couldn’t watch the boy destroy himself while he was living under his roof. But he really hoped Jace would stay.

“Can I think about it?”

Magnus nodded. “Take your time.”

He just left Jace standing there, which felt awkward, but also gave the boy enough space to really think, which he appreciated. But if he was honest, there was not much to think about.

“Fine. I agree to your rules. But I have some of my own.” Magnus quirked an eyebrow at him.

“First, if I annoy you, you tell me and I’m gone. Second, I’m not a charity case. I’ll really work for that money. Third…. I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”

Magnus laughed, he could not remember the time he last had laughed so much. “Agreed. But I forgot one last rule. I’ll help pick your outfits in future” he added with a grimace, gesturing at Jace washed-out t-shirt and faded blue jeans. Jace couldn’t help but join the laughter. “I really don’t know what you have. The others always like it…”

***

They were an odd pair, the young Shadowhunter and the not so young warlock, but they matched surprisingly well. Sometimes Magnus pretended to be annoyed by Jace, but truth be told he enjoyed having him around. At the beginning, both had been cautious, still guarded. But step by step, they opened up and Magnus felt the wall around his heart crack open a little more. There were enough stones left, but he felt that after a long winter, spring was finally settling in.

Jace hold his promises, he kept away from the potions and alcohol, he kept away from the sex. Only after he stopped selling his body, he realized how much it had taken from him. He had always felt comfortable in his skin, but that had vanished, he just had avoided feeling himself at all.

Sometimes his thoughts went out to Derek, his first, gentle and tender Derek, lost just as himself. He hoped he was fine, that he had found what he had been looking for. He wished that he had gotten what he truly deserved. Sometimes his thoughts went out to Adam, his worst, manipulating, cruel, sadistic Adam. He also hoped that he had gotten what he deserved. But after a while, he felt the thoughts fading, blending in with other memories in the back of his mind. He would never forget that time, but he felt the time was over. He was ready to start a new chapter.

Unfortunately, ready or not, sometimes the past just kept chasing you.

Jace had to kill a couple of hours, Magnus had a client in his apartment. Most of his clients were wary of Shadowhunters to put it mildly, so Jace either stayed in his room or he went out to just return when he got a message from Magnus that the client had left. He didn’t mind that part much, he understood their suspiciousness and had no problem laying low for a couple of hours. This time he had chosen to go out. From time to time he liked strolling around the city, spending the time sitting in Hyde Park and enjoying the sun or looking around the different street markets. He was just busy looking at different leather bracelets, when he heard the voice. Then he heard the laughter, the cruel and sarcastic laugher he had run from. He felt his heartbeat increasing and looked around, trying to find the source of that laughter. Trying to find Adam. But he didn’t see him, the voice and the laughter gone as they had never been there.

Nevertheless, Jace felt bail raising in his stomach, he swallowed hard to keep it down. He turned around himself, but there were just strangers, pushing past him, bumping into him, not caring for the distressed boy. He felt panic taking over his body.

When he started to think clearly again, he found himself sitting in a run-down pub, a drink in front of him. And by the dizziness he felt, it was not his first. Damn it, he had screwed up. He knew that Magnus was strict about his rules, so far he had never been tempted to break one of them, he had enjoyed his new life way too much. Well, until today. And as he was just at it, he did the sensible thing and ordered another one. And another. He saw the way the bartender eyed him and sighed in defeat, he knew this game too well. The bartender pretended he believed the age his fake ID stated and Jace in return pretended that the bartender was just the man he had waited for the whole evening. But part of him was already beyond caring, so he didn’t get up and left while he still could, but just sat there and kept drinking. He checked his phone and saw that he had several missed calls from Magnus and some texts. The first stating that the client was gone, the next when he was about to return, each following then getting a little bit more urgent with an undertone of desperation. But Jace couldn’t bring himself to text back. He knew Magnus would throw him out for breaking the rules and he was not ready to face that yet. So he shoved the phone back into his jeans pocket and stared at the wall with a blank expression, silently cursing himself for being so stupid.

The few guests cleared out one after the other, closing hour drawing nearer, until only the bartender and Jace were left. Jace closed his eyes and draw in a breath when he felt the man approaching. To his surprise, the bartender didn’t sit down next to him but retreated behind his counter. Jace narrowed his eyes, but then he felt a cold, firm grip on his shoulder.

“Jace.”

Magnus didn’t say more, but took his chin and forced him to turn around to look at him. He sighed when he saw the expression in his eyes. He gestured the bartender to bring them two more shots, shoving one in front of Jace and taking one himself. He downed it in one go, but Jace didn’t touch his. Magnus just raised an eyebrow.

“What? Suddenly not keen on drinking anymore? It’s what you’re here for, so help yourself.”

Jace couldn’t look the warlock in the eyes. He felt ashamed, but wouldn’t admit it. He clutched his hands into fists, looking down at the table, his mouth pressed shut.

“Jace.”

This time Magnus’s voice was softer.

“Look at me.” When Jace refused, he sighed but carried on. “What happened? You were doing so well. I thought _we_ were doing so well. I was really worried about you, you know.”

“Why?”

“Why I was worried? Because you didn’t answer your phone or one of my texts, which you have never done so far.”

“No, I mean, why do you care. At all.”

Magnus rubbed his face tiredly. “Jace, this is not the right time for a conversation like that. Let’s get you home and sober you up, then we will talk tomorrow. I’m angry now and I don’t want to say things I might regret.”

“You’re not throwing me out?”

“No. Why would you even think that?”

“Because I didn’t follow the rules, and who doesn’t follow the rules is going to be punished.” His hand touched subconsciously one of the many scars his father had left on his body.

“Oh Jace. No, I won’t do that. I thought that would be clear. I’m sorry, Jace, for not making this clearer. I like you, I really do. You can stay with me as long as you want. I set up the rules to protect you from yourself. It’s not the end of the world when you fall in old patterns for one day and drink yourself senseless. Believe me, I’ve drunken enough in my life to know the temptation. Will you tell me what happened, Jace?”

The boy was silent for a while. “Adam. Adam happened.” Magnus looked at him interrogatively, but Jace didn’t elaborate. Well, another conversation for tomorrow. He would find out who that Adam guy was and if that guy had hurt his boy he would regret it. Magnus cat eyes flared up for a second but smoothed over immediately.

“Let’s go home. Let’s talk tomorrow.”

***

And talking they did, even if it took a while. Magnus gave Jace the space he knew the Shadowhunter needed. After a silent breakfast Jace vanished into his room without looking Magnus in the eyes for once. The warlock sighed in frustration, but didn’t press it. He retreated to his balcony, enjoying the sun and the view over London.

He loved the city but sometimes he thought it was time for a new beginning for him. He had been here for a long time now, even in Warlock terms. He remembered the beginning, him standing on a bridge, ready to drown himself, if not Camille had found him, the most beautiful and devious vampire he had ever met. He had fallen for her, hard and fast, whereas she had played with him the whole time. In retrospect, her betrayal had been the beginning of him closing down. She had betrayed him not only once, always swearing it would be the last time, he had been always too weak to turn his back for good. Her last affair had mercifully given him the strength to finally cut ties with her, but brining her Russian lover to HIS apartment had been enough to even open his love-clouded eyes. He had thrown her out and closed the door firmly behind her, together with his heart. He had loved before, but never like that. It had been the first time he truly had believed it could last forever – real forever, as vampires were immortal as well. His mundane or werewolf lovers all had died or left him for some other reason, but with Camille he had hoped for eternity. A foolish believe, as it had turned out. After this disaster he had thrown himself in his party life, not caring who he took home as long as he or she kept him company, but never letting anyone stay. Jace had been the only person since Camille who had been allowed to stay.

After the breakup, he had also discovered that he was a good politician. He saw the injustice in the way the Clave treated Downworlders, back then even more than today. At the beginning a lot Shadowhunter mansions were decorated with vampire fangs, werewolf heads or warlock marks. Magnus shuddered only at the thought of that. He had seen the necessity for change and how his people suffered, so he had started to do everything in his power to change things. When he now looked back at his accomplishments he just felt tired. Before the Dark War, they had been on a very good way, but the war had thrown them back decades. After the last meeting he didn’t feel change was going to happen soon and he thought he was not the right person to fight for it any longer. The last weeks had shown him that he needed to take care of himself, otherwise he would go down the road of internal isolation even more. He had not even realized how closed off he already was, if not for Jace stumping in his life, jolting at his walls. He had seen what that road could do to a warlock, leaving them so closed up that they lost touch to reality completely, living only in their own world and going mad at the end. He would not let this happen.

He had been so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Jace approaching. He leaned in the door of the balcony.

“I can go if I am disturbing you.”

Magnus smiled, Jace had always been perceptive in regards of his moods, one thing he really valued.

“No, it’s fine. Sit down.”

Jace settled next to him, he drew his knees to the chest, closing his eyes to enjoy the sun for a few minutes, before he started tentatively to talk. About Adam, about what happened at the market.

“I don’t even know why Adam got so under my skin. I mean he didn’t force me to anything. He didn’t hurt me.”

“He did hurt you, Jace. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, which might be even worse. You trusted him and believed him.”

Jace huffed. “Yes, I did. I know, stupid.”

“No, not stupid. Human. It’s a good thing to be able to trust people. I lost the ability once and it did nothing good to me.”

“But you have it back? The ability?” Jace locked eyes with him, a soft expression on his face.

“Yes.” For a brief moment Magnus’ cat eyes appeared again.

“I love your eyes. They are so beautiful. You should show them more often.”

“You’re a strange Shadowhunter. Most would think they are ugly.”

“Most people are pricks.” Magnus snorted with laughter.

“See, that is one reason. You’ve asked me why I care. Because you make me laugh. Because you remind me that there is something worth living for. I mean life throws stones in your way but you just jump over them. Besides, you’re worth caring for. Just because you are you, Jace.”

The blond blushed and bit his lips and shook his head slightly. But Magnus would take non of that, he gripped his chin and made him look up. “You are worth it.” Jace smiled weakly, but kept his gaze. Good enough for now, Magnus thought. He would find a way to show the boy that he truly was worthy. Of anything.

“Come on sweetie, we have to get some work done until tomorrow.”

Jace stood up and stretched, a real smile now on his lips, while he nodded his agreement. He enjoyed the work he did for Magnus, collecting ingredients, preparing them, doing research in the huge library Magnus owned. After a while he had confided in Magnus why he needed the money and to his relieve, the warlock had not laughed but supported him. Magnus knew the Academy, one of his closest friends taught there from time to time and he agreed that it would be a great opportunity for Jace. Besides the money, you needed to accomplish a practical test, but Jace didn’t worry about that part, even though he had to admit that he had been fitter in his life.

A couple of days later, Jace came back to the apartment, finding an additional room, which hadn’t been there the day before together with a very pleased looking warlock. Jace just stood, his mouth hanging slightly open, taking in the sight. The room was perfect. Punching bags, weights, different weapons, even a shooting range.

“You’re amazing” he managed to whisper with a throaty voice.

“I know, darling, I know”. With a small wink, he pulled the blond into a tight hug. “But you deserve it.” At the beginning, Jace had not felt comfortable with physical contact, never knowing what Magnus expected of him. Then he had felt too comfortable with it, but Magnus had set clear boundaries and communicated softly but clearly that Jace was too young to go further than a friendship, even though Jace had turned 17 in the meanwhile. Jace had pouted a little, but accepted Magnus’ choice, albeit his would have been different.

The semester always started in September, the practical test was due in July, enough time for Jace to polish his fighting skills. Magnus loved to watch Jace train, how his muscles moved under his skin, how his gaze became focused and relaxed in a way he scarcely saw another time. Magnus liked sparring, despite having his magic he liked keeping fit and over the centuries, he had gathered valuable fighting skills himself. It was fun to measure his strength against Jace’s, after several rounds both had to admit they were quite equal, especially when Magnus used his magic along with his physical strength and Jace the power of his runes. It was during one of their training sessions that Magnus noticed that Jace was able to activate his runes without needing a Stele.

“How do you do that?”

Jace shrugged helplessly, he had no idea. He knew it was nothing ordinary, but he had no idea why he was able to do it. He just knew that he had discovered this ability when he had lived on the streets. He, Derek and another girl had worked their usual corner when a man had approached them and Derek had went with him, nothing unusual. A couple of minutes later the girl had vanished with another man, heading into the same direction. Jace had waited patiently for the others to return or a punter to arrive, when he had heard the girl scream. Without thinking about it and also without realizing it, he had activated his speed and strength rune and ran towards the scream – without having reached for his Stele. The girl had stood their frozen in shock, a hand clasped over her mouth, her punter gone. Between several bushes, nearly hidden from sight, Derek had kneeled on the ground, a gag stuffed into his mouth and a man bending over him, punching him. Jace had crashed into the man with his full body weight, his fist colliding with the man’s jawline. The man stood no chance against Jace’s angelic power, a punch to the temple made him collapse. If not for the others, Jace might have beaten him to death, but he let the others drag him away, leaving the bleeding man laying unconscious on the ground. He really had hoped that it took a long time for someone to find him.

It took until the morning than Jace realized what he had done. After that, he practiced the skill and was soon able to activate them whenever he wanted.

“If I were you I wouldn’t mention that to the Clave.”

“Why?” The blond looked up, a frown on his face.

“The Clave has never been kind to people who are different. I have never seen a Shadowhunter who could do what you can, Jace, and I have seen a lot of things in my life.” When he saw the smirk on Jace’s face, he threw the towel at him, which he had used to swipe away the sweat on his forehead. “If you dare to make a comment now…”

“Then what?” A mischievous gleam had entered Jace’s eyes.

“I’ll turn you into a frog.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

But Jace rather kept his mouth shut and threw the towel back at the warlock, before he left the room with a pout on his lips, followed by Magnus’ laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments & kudos are all loved :-)


	5. Chapter 5

In retrospect, Alec honestly couldn’t tell how he had survived the next two days of the Clave meeting. His father had seemed so normal the next day at breakfast, asking him about the presents he had found for Izzy and telling him what he expected from the next meeting days, that Alec suspected that it hadn’t been the first time he had done something like that.

But Alec couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. What Robert had done was wrong on so many levels, he didn’t want to begin contemplating it. He couldn’t say if the cheating, the paying for sex or the fact that the boy had most likely been a minor was the worst. Probably the last.

Despising his father would be much easier, if Robert was not such a great political strategist and supporter of the Downworld. Alec had watched with amazement how Robert had been able to convince a lot European Shadowhunters of the necessity of equal rights, providing them with facts and reasons, but also applying to their emotions, convincing them subtlety of his point of view, but never humiliating them for their old believes. Unfortunately, it had not been enough, the actual meeting with the Downworld a couple of weeks later had been a disaster, but this was not due to Robert’s lack of trying or skills.

Alec had seen his father seldom so disappointed due to a political outcome, pointing out that decisions like that could very well cause the next Dark War. The raven boy couldn’t help but agree. It was strange to see, that his father was still the man he had worshipped all his childhood but wasn’t at the same time. In his head Robert’s fight for equality didn’t go together with using a child prostitute for his own pleasure. As a result, he avoided his father as much as possible. Maybe he should talk with him, but he honestly had no idea how to address this topic. He couldn’t just approach his father and say: “Listen, that day in London, when you fucked that boy….?” In the Lightwood family they had never talked about feelings. Feelings were just in the way to do the right thing. What was important was training and studying to become a better Shadowhunter and – most important – to honor the Lightwood name. Everything they did was subordinate to the goal that the Lightwood name shone brighter than ever before to enable political change. Alec had always suspected that his parent’s marriage was rather a political one than a love match, his parents had never seemed close, especially now after what he had witnessed. So he just tried to stay out of his father’s way, until he might come up with a solution to confront him.

Alec had fancied going to the Shadowhunter Academy for quite some time now, but he had never really pursued it, not wanting to leave his family alone. But now it seemed like a splendid option, to get away at least for a couple of months, maybe nearly two years, if he made it top of the class. And that he would aim for that stood out of the question, he was a Lightwood after all.

When he knocked at his father’s office door, he felt slightly nervous. It was the first time since “the London incident” (that’s what Alec called it in his head), that he was alone with his father. Robert seemed pleased to see him.

“Listen, Alec, I wanted to talk to you anyway. I’ve never told you, but I’m really proud how you handled the Clave meeting. I got a lot of positive feedback from others, you can really make it in politics. I know you’re only 17, but we Lightwoods grow up early. I’m really proud of you.” Alec squirmed on his chair. His father had used “proud” twice in his little speech, a word which he had not heard often in his entire youth.

“I told you, a lot have noticed you at the meeting. Do you remember the Branwells from London?” When Alec just shook his head, he continued. “Anyway, Horace Branwell approached me and proposed a marriage with his daughter, Lydia. Imagine how valuable such an alliance would be! The Branwells are one of the most esteemed Shadowhunter families in Europe after the Dark War, which means we could enlarge our family influence to Europe! This would gain us many votes in every upcoming election, in Europe as well as in the U.S. Maybe you two could even aim for running the London Institute. We really need strong supporters in Europe to achieve more. The outcome of the last negotiations are truly a disaster, but the combined force from the Branwell name and ours could steer the next in our direction.” In his excitement about the prospect of increasing his family’s power and influence together with the possibility of bringing more equality to the Downworld, Robert didn’t notice that his son had paled considerably and small drops of sweat occurred on his forehead.

“You want me to marry a girl which I don’t even know? I’m not even 18 yet.” Alec managed to stutter, his hands clasping the armrest tightly. He swallowed down hard to get the sick feeling in his stomach under control.

“Of course, not right now! You are indeed too young to marry, but in a year, when you turn 18, it would be a great opportunity for you.”

“You mean for you.” Alec glared at him. Normally he didn’t speak up against his father, but this was just… too much. He couldn’t marry a girl he didn’t even know. Any girl, for that matter.

His father looked at him sternly, but not without fondness “Look Alec, sometimes we have to make decisions which are hard. Sometimes we can’t be selfish and we have to put the family before ourselves. I married your mother for similar reasons, and we have a stable marriage ever since. Without the support from the Trueblood family we Lightwoods would not stand where we are now, our cause would not stand where it is now. Powerful alliances are important to secure our goals.”

Alec wanted to laugh. Stable. What about love? What about the boy? He wanted to scream but knew better than that. He avoided his father’s intense gaze. The problem was, he saw his father’s point. The world needed change and in the old incrusted ways the Clave worked, strong alliances between families were the means to ensure that, more than anything else. But he really, really didn’t want to marry a random girl for that. He was not ready to sacrifice his life for a superior cause, no matter how noble it was.

“I have to think about it.”

“Do that. Lydia already agreed.”

After their conversation Alec lay awake restlessly, tossing from one side to another. He hated his father for putting such pressure on him. Sometimes he wandered if his father cared for him at all. He definitely cared for Alec Lightwood, the upcoming Head of Institute or Alec Lightwood the future diplomat, but did he really care for Alec Lightwood, the son, the human being? If yes, how in hell did he think it was the right thing to force a marriage on him? With a girl he had not met once? Especially when he knew how an arranged marriage felt. After his father’s revelation the distance between his parents was even more prominent than before to Alec. It was true, their partnership was _stable_. They had the same values like family honor, the same political opinions and were both ambitious in achieving their goals. It had been enough to have three children. At that thought Alec winced slightly, even – especially – after he had caught his father in flagrante, he didn’t want to think about his parent’s sex live. But when he pictured his, he had never pictured it with a girl. He had once kissed a girl and felt absolutely nothing, so he had stopped doing it and dismissed any further thoughts of dating girls. He had known that he was gay even before, having never been remotely attracted to a girl or a woman, only to boys or men, but after this little experiment he was 100% sure. So how was he supposed to marry a girl? Would that be fair to her? To him? Was it fair to the Downworlders who desperately needed someone in their corner if he chose not to marry Lydia? He also knew that even if his father now seemed to give him a choice, he expected Alec to obey his wish. He was aware what would follow if he dared to have an own opinion. He could picture it too well: The disappointment. The lectures about what was right and why sometimes family and politics mattered more than the happiness of an individual. He groaned. It would really be nice to be recognized as a person, not just an asset to the family and the next voting results. Sometime along this line of thoughts, he must have drifted off to sleep, as when he opened his eyes again, it was already morning. But he new his decision now.

First, he had to make sure that Lydia was on the same page as him. If she was somehow interested in a romantic marriage, he would not marry her. But speaking with Lydia on the phone dispelled at least these doubts. She was not enthusiastic about to marry a stranger either, but her political ambitions were ambitious and she agreed with him that the Shadow World needed change. They also basically agreed what kind of change was needed and they both saw the possibility to achieve it together.

Second, he made sure that before he married he at least got some months of freedom. He told his father that he would attend the Academy first, at least for the final year and if he made it top of his class, also the additional one for the elite. And Alec would make it top of his class, he didn’t even consider another option. His father was happy to agree, the Academy was an excellent opportunity for Alec to broaden his network. Alec gritted his teeth, again his father had missed the point completely why _he_ wanted to join the Academy, his reasons being so far away from the desire to _network_ as it could get.

***

For the application, Jace had forged his father’s signature without second thoughts. He had not seen or heard from his father since he had left Herondale Manor to live his own life, and he doubted his father missed him or cared what had become of him. Well, maybe his father did miss having a living punching bag, but not enough to go looking for him.

After all the training with Magnus’ and his innate abilities, Jace passed the test with flying colors. He couldn’t help the proud smile when he completed the admission form and transferred the money.

The only thing what bothered him was having to say goodbye to Magnus for a while. The students were not allowed to get visitors or stay away from the Academy, it was mandatory to live their fulltime for the complete term of 9 months. Even communication to the outside was restricted, only pre-checked letters by the stuff were allowed and Jace honestly didn’t see Magnus sending a teacher a letter for him. Mobile devices were also forbidden, the students should concentrate fully on their studies.

“Jace.” Jace’s head jerked up when he heard the softness in Magnus’ voice, but his arms stayed crossed over his chest. “Don’t look like that.”

“How do I look?”

“Sad. This will be great. 9 months will be over in a heartbeat and you can spend the months in between the terms at my loft again.”

“9 months might be short when one is as old as a giant turtle, but for the rest of the population 9 months is rather long”, Jace muttered under his breath.

“Be careful there, I don’t know if the Academy accepts frogs as well.” Jace couldn’t help but laugh at that, but became serious again.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, little Shadowhunter.” Magnus stepped closer and pulled Jace into a tight hug, ignoring his crossed arms and not letting go until the blond finally gave in and hugged him back.

“Make me proud and kick their asses.”

Jace snorted at that.

“Don’t insult me like that. Of course I will. They will not know what hit them.” After a small pause and another hug, he leaned slightly back, to look Magnus in the eyes.

“By the way, I’ll turn 18 during the term.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Magnus kept his tone light, but he had to swallow down a little lump in his throat.

“Nothing, I just wanted to remind you”, Jace said with a little wink, grabbing his duffle bag and stepping through the portal after a short last hug.

***

When Jace had disappeared, Magnus sighed and looked around his apartment, which already felt empty. He really would miss the sassy blond, and if he was honest, Jace’s last comment had stirred something in him, which he had tried to keep bottled up, as it just was not appropriate. Jace was just too young. But then, every mundane was young in comparison to him. And with 18, Jace was a legal adult, by Shadowhunter and mundane rights just the same. Well, they would have to see when he was back for the semester break in 9 months. 9 months could change a lot.

But staring at the empty apartment, he suddenly made up his mind. He would travel for a bit, visiting his friends he had not seen for ages and then he would go looking for another place in another city, preferably in one were Downworlder rights were more advanced than in good old England. Yes, that sounded like a plan. With a snap his suitcases were packed and he was ready to go. A small smirk appeared on his face. Maybe, he could even do something about his banishment from Peru….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally Alec get's more "screen" time... As always, I would really love to know what you think! Thanks for commenting and leaving kudos!


	6. Chapter 6

The Academy was nothing like Jace had expected it to be. He had heard that it was an old castle and therefore he had imagined something majestic, whereas in reality it looked more like a heap of stones than an actual castle. One of the four towers was gone completely, one looked more like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the other two looked not particularly inviting either, with one missing its roof and the other looked like a huge fire had taken place in it.

The rooms for the students were located in the dungeons, a cold and dirty place with little comfort to offer. The air felt humid and Jace wandered if he would ever feel warm inside these walls. The beds were narrow, the mattresses thin, the blankets likewise. There was one huge bathroom for all students, which also had seen better times. All in all, it reminded him much of his time on the streets, and he had to admit that after the months of the spoiling comfort in Magnus’ apartment, it was a harsh contrast. He snickered at his thoughts, who had expected that he got used to silk covers, three pillows and a hot shower with different bathing gels so quickly?

Nevertheless he found it odd that the elite of the Shadow World was supposed to be educated in such a place. He didn’t expect Belgian waffles for breakfast – even though they tasted really good, thank you very much – but he definitely had expected something more inviting. Well, he had lived through worse, so he would pull through this, even if he started to believe that their abandoned, condemned building in London might have been the more luxurious one when he discovered the mold on the walls. Mold. In his room. He sighed. That would be fun.

His first day even got worse. After he had stashed away his belongings, a fellow student appeared at the door and told him to go see the Headmistress, Vivianne Penhallow. Jace didn’t like the look the boy gave him while telling him this. “Do you like your room?” The too sweet and innocent tone made Jace’s walls come up, fast and instantly. He stared at the boy with caution, but just shrugged.

“It’s all right. How do you like yours?”

“I’ve got the same room than last year. Mine is actually fine, warm and cozy. But I’m glad you like yours, too. I guess scum like you is naturally torn to nasty things like this.” He gestured towards the mold.

“And what are you trying to tell me, you little git?”

“Don’t think that crossing an ocean helps you run away from anything, _Herondale._ You and your parents are Circle scum and not wanted here. You should go back to your Daddy and Mommy. Oh wait, there is no Mommy anymore, is there?”

Jace gritted his teeth and it took every inch of his self-control to not slam the brat into the next wall and show him what a Herondale was capable of. He could take the Circle shit, even though he wandered how anything of what his parents had done was supposed to be his fault, he had been a child when the Circle had been founded. But that he dared to mention his mother and use her suicide against him… The metallic taste in his mouth brought him back to reality. He wanted nothing more than to punch the superior smile off the boy’s face, but sadly they were interrupted.

“Come on, Whitelaw, let’s go.” A blonde girl appeared behind the git and dragged him away. Lucky him, next time he wouldn’t get away so easily. A few seconds later, the revaluation that apparently his last name also mattered in the U.S. settled in. He groaned. But there was nothing he could do about it, so he just left his room, closing the door firmly behind him and he headed in the direction where he thought the Head Office was located.

If he had thought that the encounter with the Whitelaw boy and the mold in his room were the lowlights of his first day, Jace was unfortunately proven wrong. Vivianne Penhallow was already waiting for him with another student sitting in the room. He was tall and dark haired and looked oddly familiar to Jace. Apparently he and that boy were the only new students for this semester, the others had been here for longer already. Penhallow explained the rules to them, no drinking (Jace rolled his eyes internally, of course they would prohibit the fun), only limited contact with the real world and other boring things. She explained quickly the meal schedule and handed them their timetables. The whole time Jace was busy not to stare at the student next to him. He had a good facial recognition and he would be damned if he didn’t know that bloke from somewhere. When the boy moved a bit in his chair and turned slightly his neck to him and revealed the huge deflect rune carved in there, Jace’s breath caught in his throat. Now he remembered too well where he had seen him and something in him wished he hadn’t remembered it. From the way the boy sat and looked uncomfortable, he assumed the boy had recognized him as well, but maybe he was just nervous, as it was their first day. Yes, that was it, he was just nervous, it had nothing to do with their encounter in a cheap London Motel lobby.

Finally, Penhallow came to the end. “I nearly forgot to introduce you to each other. That is Mr. Alexander Lightwood from the New Yorker Institute, and that is Mr. Jace Herondale from London.” The way the boy winced at the word London shattered Jace’s hope. Fuck. He did remember. “Well, maybe you can help Mr. Herondale settle in, Mr. Lightwood. Somethings might be handled a bit differently here than in London.” Jace froze at these words and looked at the Headmistress intently, not sure what to make of them. Did she also hint to his parents’ past? Her expression was unreadable and with a waving gesture, she indicated that they were dismissed.

Jace thought feverishly how to play this further. He thought of two possibilities. He could shove the boy into the next wall and threaten him, or he could just ignore it and pretend nothing had happened and deny everything. He just wanted to settle for the second option when the other boy approached him outside the office, in the thankfully empty corridor.

“I’m sorry.”

Jace blinked a few times in astonishment. “What for?”

The other boy, Alexander, as he reminded himself, turned into a deep shade of red. He sucked at his cheek and gulped. “You know, London.”

“So you do recognize me.” If possible, the blush on Alec’s face even deepened.

“Er. Yes.”

“But what are you sorry for?”

The question took the raven boy a bit by surprise. He blinked a few times to gather his thoughts, but came up with nothing much. But the way he looked at Jace made the blond feel a little lighter.

“So you won’t tell?”

“Why would I?” The taller boy looked taken aback.

Jace just shrugged and crossed his arms before his chest. “A lot would. It’s an interesting story to tell. And I just learned I am not everybody’s darling here anyway.”

“A lot people are idiots.” Jace had to smile at that statement. Maybe he kind of liked the boy, but then Alec continued and reminded him that maybe he didn’t.

“The war. Not a lot American families did get involved, but some. The Circle killed a lot Shadowhunters, also Americans. ”

“And how the hell is this supposed to be my fault? I didn’t even fight in that damn war.”

“I know. But a lot are angry that your family hasn’t been properly punished.”

Jace just laughed hollowly. He should have chosen option 1, shoving the damn boy in the wall.

“You think so, Alexander, do you? Oh yeah, my lucky family who lived happily ever after. Wait, except my mother. She killed herself. Ah, and my father. He is a drunken alcoholic. Oh, and there is me, but well, you’ve seen what I am.”

Jace glared daggers at the other boy, his rage barely concealed. Alec ruffled his hair in a desperate gesture.

“I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry. I just wanted to explain why some others are like that. And please, call me Alec.”

They glared at each other for a while, before Jace started to speak again, running his hand over his face tiredly.

“So thank you, Alec, I guess. For not telling. And sorry for my little outbreak. I… I just pictured everything to go a little differently for me.”

He pushed passed Alec, heading for the solitude of his room. With the goddamn mold.

Alec couldn’t help but stare after him. Again.

***

Jace wanted nothing more than to stay in his room and be left alone, but he knew not showing up for his first dinner would be considered a weakness. And if his life had taught him one thing, then that it was never acceptable to show a weakness in front of your enemies or people in general. So Jace gritted his teeth and proceeded to the Great Hall, were the meals were served. The Great Hall consisted of several large tables and an area restricted to the teachers. The Hall didn’t look exactly cozy, but a lot more inviting than his room. Well, at least it seemed that it was his room alone, as so far no other Shadowhunter had shown up.

Even though Jace was rather late, the place was not overcrowded. Probably there were not so many students this year. He eyed the food suspiciously which was handed to him, it looked like a mix between pasta and risotto, which was truly an odd combination. There was one table occupied by the Whitelaw boy, his friend and several other Shadowhunters, who turned around to stare at him. Jace deliberately ignored the pang of disappointment which rang through his body when he realized that Alec was sitting among this group. He just winked at them and headed to another table, occupied by some younger looking students. But well, somewhere he had to eat and he was not going to sit alone and look sad and lonely in front of the others, even though he kind of felt a little sad and lonely.

He had not even sat down properly when a young girl, probably around 14, started to speak to him.

“I’m Lily.”

Before he could introduce himself, she cut him off and went on.

“I know who you are. You’re Jace Herondale.”

“And why would you know that?”

“The Royals are talking about you.” Jace quirked an eyebrow, forcing one fork of the strange food in his mouth to seem unfazed. But were they kidding him? The fucking _Royals?_

“Sorry what?”

Lily waved in the direction of Whitelaw and his gang. “We call them the Royals, as they are all part of old Shadowhunter families, who of course stay among themselves and not bother with mundanes or Shadowhunters from minor families like us.”

They really were kidding him. Making a fuzz about a war he had had not even a part in, but being racist towards mundanes and others.

“So what are they talking about me?” He looked towards the table and locked briefly eyes with Alec, who blushed and turned away instantly. Jace bit his lip, feeling a little at unease. If the raven boy didn’t keep his promise of keeping his mouth shut, this could get really ugly for him.

“Just shit about your family, how you should be punished for what they did and crap like that. But we are not all like that. The war is over and it should be treated as over. It’s not your fault what your parents did.”

Jace smiled at her and the others.

“I know that, but thank you anyways. Good to know that here are also normal people. By the way, is it just me or are your rooms also a bit, uh, humid?”

The whole table exploded with laughter. When they had calmed down they explained that each and everyone of them had fought against the humidness and the mold which came with it, and everybody had lost the fight. He learned that there were two parts of the dungeons, one cleaner and drier, which was, of course reserved for the Royals, and the other one, which was given to the rest.

“So better befriend the mold. It wins anyhow. Always. Accept it, live with it. I once tried to get rid of it with a potion a warlock made for me. I think I pissed it off, it grew back even stronger!” Lily added with a small smirk on her face, causing Jace to return the smirk.

“How long are you already here?”

“Three years now. Since my parents died.”

“Oh. I’m really sorry, that sucks so much. My mother is also dead.”

“I know.” Of course she did. Jace wouldn’t be surprised if she knew his favorite food and color. But he had to admit, the girl seemed alright and so did her friends. He felt a lot better when he returned to his room than he had when he had left it.

***

Unfortunately, neither of the kids were in his class, as they were indeed all younger. His class consisted mostly of Royals and a few other students who seemed afraid of them. And Alec, of course. Alec, who still seemed to watch him carefully, but at least it seemed he had kept his promise, as Jace heard no other insults than traitor or similar original snubs, no one referred to his time as a hustler, which would have been too good to let it slide.

At the end of the second week there were going to be trials, where the teachers evaluated their strength again and matched them into fighting teams of two. You were allowed to state a wish, but it was not guaranteed to be granted the wish. Only the best pairings were allowed to carry on for the true final semester, the semester for the elite. The Clave hoped to encourage more Shadowhunters to become Parabatai through this method, as the bond strengthened the fighting skills of the warriors and this could help the pair to outshine the other students. Besides, the Clave needed more strong fighters desperately, especially after the Dark War. Jace just shook his head at this kind of manipulation, there were great reasons to become Parabatai, but to better your chances to pass a fucking test was definitely not a good reason to bind your soul to another human being.

After a week Jace had enough of Alec’s eying and he cornered the raven boy in an empty corridor.

“What’s the matter with you?” They boy sighed.

“I’m sorry. I always feel the weird need to apologize and I know you don’t want that.”

“So you settle with stalking me and looking at me when you think I won’t notice.”

“Er, I’ve been told that my social skills are lacking.”

Jace tried to keep his glare in place but he couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips.

“But why do you feel this need? You did nothing wrong. Hell, even your father did nothing wrong. I assume it was your father?”

Alec just nodded.

“Can we go to my room? Or yours? I don’t want anyone to listen to that.”

Thinking of the mold, Jace told Alec to lead the way. It appeared, Lily had been right. There were nice, cozy, warm and dry rooms in the castle. Despite that, the rooms looked quite similar. Also Alec’s room had two beds, one of them unoccupied. Jace headed straight for this one and settled down, watching Alec apply a silencing and locking rune. The way Alec swung his Stele, concentrated and accurate, caught his eye, it had a kind of beauty to it Jace had never seen before.

After he was done, Alec settled down on the other bed cross-legged and looked at him intensely.

“How can you say that he did nothing wrong? He did take advantage of you.”

Jace bit his lip, he was not sure if he wanted to share his past with a near stranger, but something in the earnest way the other looked at him made him give in.

“No, Alec, he didn’t. He was decent, he took what I offered and paid what I asked, end of story.”

“But…”

“No, Alec. Don’t fucking try to make me a victim here. I am not a fucking victim. I chose that. Maybe it was not the most sensible thing to choose, but _I chose it.”_

Alec chewed on his lip, he clearly wanted to say something, but the intensity in Jace’s words – and maybe the deadly glare – had shut him up. Jace sighed and licked his lips. “Alec, I can understand that this troubles you because he is your father. And yes, it is kind of shady to pay someone for sex. But for me, at that time, it was… all right. For a lack of better words.”

Alec contemplated this for a moment.

“But the thing is, you should have never been in that situation in the first place.”

“I ran away. I could have stayed.”

“I involuntarily learned a lot about your family listening to that asshole Whitelaw for the last days. And you said it yourself, your father is an alcoholic. I bet you wouldn’t have run if he had treated you only reasonably well. If anyone of the Clave had cared to look what was going on in your family, you wouldn’t have any reason to run.”

Jace snorted. “As if the Clave would interfere in family business.”

“Exactly. As if the Clave cared about anything but their own agenda points. They should care about their children. They should make sure that the War is really treated as over. But they close their eyes to harassment of old Circle families. They never cared about children, Shadowhunters could beat their children to death and no one would show up to stop that. That is wrong. That should change.”

Jace looked at Alec stunned. “Well, that took an unexpected turn. But I guess you are kind of right. In the mundane world they have a care system for children, though from what I’ve learned it is not working really well.”

“Sorry for my rambling. I just thought about it so much and there are so many things fucked up in our World… Maybe you can tell me some time from the mundane way. We can learn and make it better.”

“True.. So you are planning on changing the Clave when you’re done here?” When Alec nodded, Jace carried on. “To be honest, I’m kind of impressed, and that doesn’t happen often. I never thought of changing anything…I always just wanted to live. But please, can we leave my past in the past?”

“Sure, sorry. But you know, if you want to talk about anything…”

“Actually I do. Why do you have a nice decent room?”

“My mother is a diplomat and my father runs the New York Institute.”

“Ah, that makes sense. So as you are so in favor of change, we could change our rooms.” Jace gave Alec his most radiant smile, which had melted the hearts of many people. It didn’t fail on Alec, Jace liked the way the raven boy blushed.

“Baby steps, change needs baby steps. So no, I won’t switch rooms. But you can share mine.”

“Uh, I think I need to know someone a bit better before I share my room with someone.” When he had finished his sentence, he realized the pun and when he looked at Alec who could barely conceal his amusement, he knew the other had, too. He burst out laughing and when Alec joined in, it felt like the best thing since he had stepped through the doors of the Academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I hope you like the update. Please let me know if anything is too confusing (new characters, the way the Acadmey works etc...). Thanks for reading and leaving kudos/comments ❤


	7. Chapter 7

The next day, Alec didn’t sit down as usual at table with the Royals, but approached Jace’s with the younger students. The blond just cocked and eyebrow but smiled, nodding when Alec asked if the seat opposite of him was free. The raven boy was just about to sit down, when a loud cough made him pause in his actions and look up startled.

“Move!” the young girl scowled at him. “That seat is taken.”

Jace couldn’t suppress the smile, he had long given up trying to argue with Lily. It seemed Alec came to the same conclusion and scooted over, sitting now diagonal to Jace.

“So Jace, nervous before tomorrow?” The young girl asked Jace, not acknowledging Alec’s presence any further.

“Actually, no. Not really. I know what I’m capable of.”

Lilly nodded in agreement. “And you choose him as your partner.” It was a statement, not a question. Jace looked briefly at Alec, who tried unsuccessfully to not listen to their conversation before he returned his focus back to Lily.

“Yes, I want him.”

Lily frowned shortly, eying Alec intently but it seemed what she saw satisfied her.

“Good choice.”

With that, the topic was over and they moved on to discuss other matters of Jace’s personal life.

***

The trials were held by the Headmistress and two other teachers. The first part of the test was a pure physical one, every one of the students needed to fulfill several tasks like archery, throwing knives, hand-to-hand combat, sword fight. The second part of the test included an actual mission together with your partner and would be held at the second day of the trials. All in all, they were 16 students, of which only 8 would be allowed to complete the second semester for the elites. So 4 out of eight pairings would make it, the other four would have to leave in the summer.

Jace had been able to ignore all nasty comments from Boris Whitelaw and his friends over the past week, but he knew sometime he had to face them to make them stop. He absolutely had no desire to listen to their crap for the whole term, but he also had no inclination to be expelled. Open fights among students were strictly forbidden and he was absolutely clear about the fact, that if it came down to that, he would get all the blame. So somehow he had to come up with something which shut them up and would not lead to him having to leave the Academy. He had sacrificed too much for that to happen.

The trials were one of the first steps to achieve that. So far, they had not seen the full strength of the other students. So far, they had only had regular sports like running, crossfit and stuff like that, no fighting whatsoever. Jace was pretty sure that as soon as the others saw him fight, at least some of them would shut up about his past, or his parent’s past to be precise. He knew that even without showing his ability to activate his runes without a Stele, he was more skilled than most. He had carefully watched the others and most would be no match for him. Unfortunately Whitelaw seemed to be rather capable, and of course Alec was a strongly skilled fighter, but he didn’t worry about that or the rest of his class.

Alec and him were set up in the same group, which meant they acted already as a team. Alec had also stated his wish to be partnered with Jace, so both hoped it was a good sign that they had been paired now already. Their first task was archery, in which Alec excelled easily. It was mesmerizing to watch at what pace and accuracy he shot every arrow straight into the bull’s eyes, no matter what distraction came up. Also the moving targets were no challenge for him, he easily hit every fake demon. With a proud smile he handed over the bow to Jace, who beamed at him. “Well done!” Jace was a decent shooter, but not in the same league than Alec. As it was, no one was in the same league than Alec when it came down to archery.

Knife throwing both boys mastered to their satisfaction, both hitting the targets easily. Swords had always been one of Jace’s favorite weapons, which showed clearly in the way he fought. He wielded the sword with an easiness, which bordered to cockiness and recklessness, making Alec smile and shake his head and the Royals fume with rage, as one of their own was showed up by the ease with which Jace dominated the fight. When Jace finally disarmed his opponent, he had not even broken into sweat.

Already after these first categories, it was clear that Alec and Jace together with Boris Whitelaw and Yvonne Bridgestock, Withelaw’s partner, were the most skilled Shadowhunters. Apparently the teachers saw it the same way, as after a short discussion, one of the teachers announced:

“You have a 30 minutes break, and then we proceed with the hand-to-hand combat. Ligthwood will pair with Bridgestock, Herondale with Whitelaw, Starkweather with…” Jace didn’t listen to the rest anymore, too focused on the prospect to get his hands on Whitelaw, which he had been dying to do since day one.

“Jace.” The tone in which Alec addressed the blond was warning. Before Jace could reply, Alec clasped his hand firmly over his elbow and dragged him away.

“What?” The blond sounded irritated. “I need to prepare myself.”

“You need to calm down. I know that you want to beat him. And you should. But you cannot destroy him like the other kid with your sword.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have to live with him for the next months. And, Jace, he can make your life a living hell! He has the name and the friends for it.”

“I have you.”

Alec huffed desperately, but he couldn’t help the warmness spreading through his body at these words.

“Yes you have. But we are just two. I cannot protect you against so many.”

Now it was Jace’s turn to huff. “I don’t need protection. I can handle myself.”

“Yes, exactly. That’s why you should teach him a lesson. But not destroy his pride completely. Believe me, someone like him will never get over that.”

Jace sighed with frustration. “But…”

“No but.” Alec’s voice was stern and firm, but he stepped closer, until their foreheads rested against each other. Like that, they stood for a while. Jace felt his pulse slowing down, he had not realized that it was racing. He hated it, but he had to admit that Alec was right. He breathed out slowly, before he drew back, absentmindedly noticing that he already missed the touch.

“Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

Alec’s heart beat a bit faster when he saw the smile on Jace’s face at that, a smile which could light up an entire room.

***

Jace really wanted to follow Alec’s advice, but it wasn’t as easy as it had sounded. Before the fight, both Shadowhunters had been allowed to activate the same runes, so that no one was at a disadvantage. Whitelaw was indeed a good fighter, he had a brutal punching force but lacked finesse. Jace had no problems with blocking his first attempts at hitting him, just using his right arm as a blocker and countering with his left. His left fist connected with Whitelaw’s jaw, throwing his head back by the sheer impact, but Whitelaw didn’t lose his stand. Instead he pushed forward in an instant, raising his foot and he managed to place a well-aimed kick in Jace’s kidney. The blond felt the pain urging through his body like a spasm, the air was pressed out of his lungs. Whitelaw was on him in an instant, using this advantage to try to place another kick, this time against his chest. Just before they connected, Jace felt his body move an inch – nearly without his doing, but enough to avoid the kick. The other was taken by surprise by this sudden movement, he nearly lost his balance. Jace felt a slight burning pain and then out of a sudden, the pain in his body was completely gone, he could breathe normally again. Jace avoiding the kick last minute unhinged Whitelaw so much, that he wasn’t able to block Jace next move. The blond had turned to face Whitelaw again, taking full advantage of Whitelaw’s unstable stand. He grabbed the other by the shoulder, forced him around and slammed his fist in his face. Jace felt a bone break under his hand and he grunted satisfied. Oh yeah, that boy would get what he deserved. He spun around himself and with one elegant kick against the other’s temple, he sent the boy flying to the mattress. Within seconds, he was over him, pinning him down with his own body weight while punching him again in the face. Before he could continue, he looked up for a brief moment to see Alec sternly looking at him. Jace bit his lips but obeyed the silent order. Damn Alec, but he knew he was right. So instead of continuing to beat Whitelaw bloody and make him look a fool, he offered him a fair way out without losing his face completely. The other boy clearly fought with himself, but took the offer.

After the fight, Whitelaw nursed his injuries and Jace was dragged again out of the room by Alec. This time the raven boy didn’t bother with stopping outside in the corridor, as both had completed the first part of the trials, they were free to leave anyway. Alec had fought – and won – against Bridgestock just before Jace’s fight. When they arrived at Alec’s room, Alec pushed Jace inside to look at him with a questioning expression in his eyes.

“How did you do that?”

Jace ran his hand over his face. Actually, he was not sure himself. And he was not sure if Alec really had caught up to his special skills.

“What do you mean?”

“Jace, don’t play dumb. Not with me. You activated your healing rune and I guess an additional agility rune during the fight. Without a Stele. How did you do that?”

“How did you notice?” Jace chewed on his lip, a habit he seemed to have not under control.

“Your eyes lit up golden, like they always do when you use a rune. And you moved so fast, not even you can do that without a rune.”

Jace sighed but averted Alec’s eyes. He knew why he had hidden his ability from the Clave, but he felt he could trust Alec, though trusting came not easy to him.

“I discovered this a couple of months back. Normally I have to concentrate on it, that they activate just like that without me wanting it – never happened before. I think it’s because I was so agitated by that bloke.”

Alec let out his breath. “Wow. That’s amazing. But you should not let it show, I guess. The Clave can be… strange. But you don’t need to hide from me. Never from me, Jace.”

Jace gave him a crooked smile. “Ok”, he whispered. “Thank you.”

Alec smiled, he knew it was not just for now but also for his advice earlier.

***

Early next morning, just before breakfast, they got their assignments for their second task. Jace had been really pleased to see that Whitelaw’s face still wore some traces of their fight the other day. Lily had noticed, too and gave him a proud thumbs up. Alec had sat with Jace, Lily and their friends again, which had made the blond even more happy. It was nice to have an actual friend his age.

“Let’s go”, Jace whispered into Alec’s ear, the accidental soft brush of his lips against his ear giving the taller boy goose bumps all over his body. “Let’s kick some demon ass.”

Alec swallowed hard, avoiding the smirk on Lily’s face, but did as he was told. He rose to his feet and followed Jace to the locker room, where they changed into fighting gear. Alec went unsurprisingly for a bow as weapon, together with the usual blades and daggers; Jace took one sword, throwing knives and also a spare blade and a dagger. He fastened the holster around his ankle, while they discussed strategy. They were supposed to take down two demons of unknown origin in an abandoned house in a rural Scottish area. It didn’t sound like an impossible task, but unlike Jace, Alec took this really seriously.

“You go in first, but not before we have cleared the premises and I give you cover with my bow.” Alec instructed and Jace just nodded. Alec was definitely the strategist in their team. “We have to see if the demons communicate with each other and what they are capable of. So don’t storm in recklessly.”

“When have I ever been careless?” Jace retorted, a fake hurt in his voice. Alec just shook his head and turned around, but not before Jace had seen the small smile in the corner of his mouth.

A warlock transported them to the front of the house, a teacher accompanied them to see how they were coping and to step in in case of an emergency. “Let’s do this” Alec muttered, before Jace pushed the door to the house slowly open. The door squeaked miserably and both boys froze in their tracks. So much for the plan to go in unnoticed. Carefully Jace stepped through the door, his sword high in the air, ready to strike. Alec adjusted his grip on the bow a tiny bit, while he stepped further, the bowstring taut so that he could let an arrow fly in an instant.

Jace stepped towards the middle of the room, while checking the corners, feeling the reassuring presence of Alec behind him. It was a good feeling. A strange humming noise filled suddenly the air, Jace’s eyes darting through the sparely lit room to make out where it was coming from.

“The ceiling” he heard Alec cry out, before an arrow flew above his head, piercing right through the eye of one small demon. The demon exploded in green ichor and vanished, but there were more – many more – of them. “Sun of a bitch.” Jace muttered, while he gripped his sword harder with the right hand and threw his throwing knives with the other. Alec let one arrow after the other fly in a steady pace, and also the throwing knives found their targets. But nearly the whole ceiling was covered with the demons. A bone shattering scream filled the room, when they heard insect like legs scatter over the stairs from above. A huge demon lunged towards them, the same shape and form then the ones on the ceiling, but way bigger. “I think that’s mommy. Or daddy” Jace heard Alec yell.

“I’ll take this one, you take care of the offspring” Jace felt more than heard Alec’s agreement over the shrill shrieks of the adult demon. Jace had never seen this kind of demon before, but he had seen the weakness of them while shooting down the smaller ones. Eyes and bellies. As aiming for the eyes was not so easy due to the huge teeth and fangs, he planned for attacking the belly. He fainted a blow to the left and saw the creature react to it, but slowly. It seemed speed was not one of his major strength. While he moved his body with angelic grace to the right, his speed rune burning with the effort, he brought up his sword arm. The demon tried to follow but before it could even properly attack, Jace’s weapon had pierced the skin and sunk deep into the belly. The demon shrieked again and sunk in itself, Jace sprang back and let go of his sword, leaving it inside the demon. He reached for his spare blade and managed to push it through the demon’s eye just in time to avoid the sharp teeth. Just as the offspring, the demon exploded and vanished. Jace turned around to see how Alec was doing, but before he could even see his friend, the rotten ground below him gave a way and he fell one floor down into the cellar. Jace hissed in pain when he hit solid ground, his ankle giving away. He fell backwards, his injured foot not able to hold his weight. He felt his Iratze rune working, but against a broken ankle it stood no chance. “Fuck” Jace muttered, it hurt like a bitch. There was no light in the basement, only a faint glow from two small windows at the top of the wall illuminated the room. Jace tried to sit up and look for his blade, which he had lost during the fall, but before he could reach it another bloodcurdling scream filled the room. The demon was even bigger than the other had been. “Found daddy” Jace mused sarcastically, while he tried to scoot back, still lying on his back. The demon was over him in a second, bearing his impressive teeth at him. Feverishly, Jace tried to pull the dagger out of the holster on his injured foot. His breath was ragged now, but his eyes never left the demon. Finally his finger tips reached the dagger and he pulled it out, gripping it firmly. He knew he had only one try.

Jace was so concentrated that he didn’t hear the soft thud, with which Alec landed behind the demon after he had sprung catlike through the hole. The moment he raised the dagger to push forward, the moment Alec let his last arrow fly, piercing the scull of the demon at the same time Jace’s dagger sank into the left eye. The demon exploded, covering Jace completely in sticky, smelly ichor. Jace lay on the floor, looking perplex at his friend. He wiped away the ichor from his face, a gurgling sound coming from his throat. Before Alec could step closer, a concerned frown on his face, the sound became louder and Alec realized that Jace was laughing. _Laughing._ “That was awesome.” Jace managed to stutter between his laughter. Alec looked down on him, shaking his head.

“You’ll be the death of me, Jace Herondale. I swear.”

“And you’ll love every minute of it until then. Now come on help me you git, my ankle is broken.”

“I don’t know, Jace, you’re kind of smelly. I don’t want to get dirty.” But while he was saying that, he had already kneeled beside the blond and pulled carefully the trouser away from the hurt ankle, carving a healing rune into Jace’s flesh. Jace smiled at the carefulness and tenderness with which Alec was handling him, he really liked the feeling.

“We’re a great team.”

“We’re an amazing team.” Alec corrected him with a cocky grin, a grin which would suit Jace better but the blond liked the look of it on his friend anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I could write fighting scenes again (why do I always end up with fighting scenes??)... Well, I hope you liked it anyway. The next chapter will be about Magnus 😊  
> I'd love to hear what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Magnus sighed contently. It had indeed been a great idea to visit one of his closest friends, Ragnor Fell, and drag him with him to a vacation. Ragnor was just as he had remembered him. Grumpy, complaining and thankfully ready to start the morning with drinks, just like him. They were sitting in a small café close to the Duomo, enjoying the view and the early morning sun. Their cappuccinos and their dolci had already arrived but they were waiting for their Apérol Sprizz. Ragnor huffed and fiddled with his clothes, he hated to use glamour. Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be so whiny, Ragnor. You have to admit it’s amazing here.” This just draw another huff from Ragnor.

“And what would you do at home anyway? Sit alone in your cottage and talk to yourself? You can as well sit here then. At least here it is sunny and not raining all the time and you can talk to me.”

“That’s not really an improvement, at least I am good company”, Ragnor muttered under his breath, but without real heat in it. The late Italian sun was indeed nicer than the Scottish rain. And the chocolate filled cornetto was also quite tasty, not to mention the crema on his cappuccino. When their drinks arrived, even Ragnor couldn’t suppress the small smile, which of course didn’t went unnoticed by his friend, who smirked slightly at him.

“To old friends.”

“To old friends. We shouldn’t let it slide that long again. How long has it been? 20 years? Longer?”

Magnus sighed and nodded. It was true, they hadn’t seen each other in ages. When you’re immortal you had so much time on your hand, you didn’t visit each other often sometimes. But when months turned into years and years into decades, you really had to be careful that you didn’t lose track of each other completely.

“I promise I’ll be a better friend.”

Ragnor just raised his Sprizz towards him and Magnus loved him for that. They had always been friends without many words. They just sat there in silence for a while, sipping their coffee and drinks, nibbling on their cornetti.

“You’re different, Magnus. Something changed.” Ragnor eyed him a bit suspiciously. Magnus sighed a little.

“Yes I suppose.”

“Which is a good thing, I mean. Catarina and I were a bit worried, you know.” Catarina was another warlock and a dear friend. She was a healer and currently busy saving some people in South Asia, she always worked for mundane hospitals as a doctor or a nurse. Of course, she never had time to go on holiday with Magnus and Ragnor, but Magnus suspected she used it more as an excuse. Just because their last joint adventure had gone a bit out of control and resulted in his banishment form a certain country….

Magnus took another sip, he liked the mix between the bitter Aperol and the sparkling Prosecco. Mercifully, they mixed it here with Prosecco, some bars dared to serve it with white wine, which was really insulting his good taste. Magnus shuddered a little at that thought, but actually that was not the point right now, was it.

“I went really down a dangerous road. But you don’t need to worry anymore. I think I’m going to be fine.”

“So what happened? Or shall I better ask _who_ happened.” The smirk on Ragnor’s usually grumpy face annoyed Magnus a little, as was the fact that he was right. Ragnor just knew him too well.

“I might have met someone.”

“Which is not a bad thing. It’s been ages since your last more serious relationship. It’s really time you get over that bitch Camille, once and for all.”

“He is a Shadowhunter.”

“Which definitely _is_ a bad thing. Magnus!”

“I know. Normally they are more trouble than they are worth. But he is different.”

“No. He is just shitty in a different way.”

At that, Magnus threw his head back and laughed out loudly. Ragnor was just the best.

“Don’t get agitated, we’re not even together. Nothing really happened between us, we’re just friends.”

“And why is that? Does your Shadowhunter consider himself too good for a warlock?”

“Ragnor! He is not like that. He doesn’t give a damn that I am a warlock.” Magnus sighed and shifted a little on his stool. “He is too young.”

“Since when is age a problem for you Magnus? All mundanes, Shadowhunters or werewolves are young in comparison to us.”

Magnus shifted a little more. “He is 17.” He mumbled in a very low voice.

“Magnus! Don’t tell me…”

“No, as I said, we haven’t. Nothing happened. And nothing will, at least not until he is 18. But he definitely is interested. And, I don’t know, he is just… he makes me want to live, Ragnor. A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time and truly missed.”

Ragnor sighed a little. “Well, 18 or 20 or 25, doesn’t matter actually. But are you sure, Magnus? A mortal again? They always break our hearts in the end when they die. And they will die, one day or the other. And Shadowhunters… you know they tend to not get very old. Why not settle for a nice little warlock?”

Magnus winked at him. “Are you offering…?”

Ragnor just laughed. “You know I only swing one way.”

Magnus smiled and shook his head. He really had missed this.

“If you are asking if I am sure, I am not. But I am willing to find out, I guess.”

“So who is he?”

“His name is Jace.”

“Jace who?”

Magnus averted Ragnor’s eyes when he answered this one.

“Herondale.”

“You must be kidding me. A Herondale? Are you insane? What got into you, Magnus Bane? Besides him, apparently. You know how many of our kind Stephen Herondale killed? Not to mention dear Céline?”

“He is neither his mother nor his father. Besides, Céline is dead and he is not even close to his father. He dislikes him, he ran away from him.” Magnus looked pointedly at his friend.

“He also is not his ancestor. He is not Will”, Ragnor threw in gently.

Magnus swallowed. Ragnor had a point, Jace did remind him of one of the closest friends he ever had, Will Herondale. They even looked similar.

“It’s not just that. I _know_ he is not Will. But see, there are nice Shadowhunters.”

“Will was _one_ nice Shadowhunters. His kids were nothing but trouble.” Magnus smiled fondly and nodded, Lucie and James had been quite a handful, he had to admit that. Ragnor interrupted his decent memories.

“So your Jace won’t be trouble?” Magnus thought of the mischievous gleam in Jace’s mismatched eyes and couldn’t help but laugh full heartedly.

“Oh no, he definitely will be trouble.”

Ragnor sighed in defeat and poked Magnus in the chest. “I think the problem is that you are trouble, Magnus Bane. I want to meet him.”

“You will. When he is back from the Shadowhunter Academy I will introduce you. Come on, you have to help me pick a postcard for him.”

Ragnor sighed again. How low had he fallen, picking postcards for petty Shadowhunters. When he handed Magnus a postcard of the naked statue of Michelangelo’s David, Magnus just laughed, muttered “Maybe that’s a bit too straight forward, but maybe for later…” and bought it anyway in the end. Trouble really was heading their way, Ragnor stated with another sigh but also with a small smile, he hadn’t seen Magnus that happy in a long time.

The smile vanished immediately when he heard of Magnus’ next plans.

“Absolutely not, Magnus. I am not going back to Peru with you. You are banished from the entire country.”

Magnus pouted a little.

“Don’t you think the High Council of Peruvian warlocks exaggerated a bit last time? I’m sure if I talk to them again, they will see that…”

“Absolutely. Not.”

Magnus sighed in defeat. “Ok. So where we are going next. Paris?”

“Uh, I don’t like Paris at this time of the year. It’s too cold already.”

“Fine, then Australia.”

“Too hot.”

“Africa?”

“Too wet.”

Ragnor just laughed when Magnus threw his hands up in a desperate gesture. He really couldn’t believe that he had gone 20 years without teasing his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was so much fun to write, so I hope you had also fun reading it! I hope for those who haven't read the books (😉) the Peru joke is not too senseless...   
> Your comments and kudos are truly loved ❤


	9. Chapter 9

After the trials, it took the teachers around a week to make the official pairings. Alec and Jace were relieved when they found out that their wish had been granted. Bridgestock and Whitelaw had been paired as well, to no one’s huge surprise, the Royals normally got away with their wishes.

After everyone had seen Jace’s strength – and Alec’s, for that matter – the glares and muttered insults had become fewer, but still they were present. The teachers ignored it, no one ever stepping up to prevent it from happening. Quite a few seemed to even share the sentiment and treated Jace harsher than every other student. Jace just shrugged and tried to remain unfazed, but it bugged him nevertheless. In all other areas, the boys settled into the routine of the Academy.

They joked about the strange food combinations, got used to the morning drill with getting up at 5.30 and a workout session before breakfast, they realized which teachers required undivided attention and which were a bit more laid back and Jace gave the mold a name (Robin). When Lily argued with him that Robin was no name for a mold, he shut her up by saying that at least Robin worked well for either a girl-mold or a boy-mold, as he had not yet discovered the gender of the mold. Lily glared at him but couldn’t suppress the laughter. “Well then, Robin it is.” Jace was proud of winning his first argument against her, even if he was afraid it was also his last.

Alec had completely switched sites and sat with them every meal; a fact which had not went unnoticed by the Royals.

“Lightwood. Why do you sit with the losers?”

Jace was up in an instant, his whole composure threatening, his body vibrating with rage. It was one thing to insult him, quite another to do so with Lily and her friends. But before he could say anything, Alec appeared by his side, placing a reassuring hand on his upper arm. “Careful there, Bridgestock. Who do you call loser? I remember kicking your ass at the trials and I sure as hell remember Jace kicking Whitelaw’s. If you think you can play by your own rules just because you have a fancy last name, let me tell you: My name is even fancier than yours.” Bridgestock looked taken aback, but backed off. She had not expected Alec to take sites so clearly.

When the boys sat down again, the others beamed at them but besides that, no one acknowledged the nasty interruption.

***

Around two months after semester start, Jace received his first of several postcards from Magnus. A wide grin spread over his face when he was handed the card with the face of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart on it. On the card was only one word written besides his own name in Magnus’ expressive and squiggly handwriting: Remember? Of course he did. A soft expression settled on his face, his eyes looked dreamily into the distance. Herondale Manor had never been a place for music, art or anything like that, there barely had been books. His father had considered all arts a waste of time, sidetracking Jace from what was really important: fighting. When Jace heard classical music for the first time at Magnus’s apartment in England, he had been mesmerized. Magnus had watched him with surprise, classical music normally not high on the wanted list with teenagers. But Jace had loved it and so Magnus had started to educate him a bit, making him listen to different composers and compositions. Jace had taken a special liking to Mozart. Listening and watching the Magic Flute together with Magnus, curled up together at the huge coach, sharing a cup of Ben&Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownies, belonged to one of Jace’s fondest memories. He smiled at himself before he returned to his room, carefully packing away his precious belonging.

***

Their physical fitness teacher was especially down on Jace, the fact that Jace was top of her class annoyed her beyond words. She would have loved to take it out on him during classes, but as Jace excelled in every task, she had no leverage on him. What she could do, was make him clean and tug away the sports equipment. Every single time. Therefore Jace was always late for showering, often alone, as the others were not even allowed to help with his task. But Jace didn’t mind so much, he liked being alone in the shower. He might have snatched Magnus’ shower gel and shampoo and brought them with him to the Academy, to have a reminder of his scent. The shower gel was a special mix, consisting of different scents, but the most prominent was santal, which always had a soothing effect on Jace. It just reminded him of Magnus, of home. Jace always took his time showering, especially when he had no further classes afterwards. The shower was in no way comparable to Magnus’ high class one, were you could choose between different steams, in the Academy you had to get lucky to have enough hot water, but it was all he had.

Nevertheless, the shower was a kind of solitude where the blond could relax. Jace had just finished rinsing out the shampoo, the air was still heavy with the santal scent, when he heard the door to the locker room open. He didn’t think about it much, maybe one of the kids had forgotten something and wanted to fetch it. He dried his hair roughly with a towel, before he wrapped it around his waist. He turned to grab his gel and shampoo, his back towards the door, when he heard another door, this time closer. Someone had entered the shower. Jace turned around slowly. He swallowed when he saw the three boys standing in the door, fully dressed, blocking his escape route. He was fully aware that he, in contrast to them, was naked and unarmed.

“Herondale”, Whitelaw spat at him. “Enjoying the shower?”

“In deed, Whitelaw. But I don’t want to interrupt your little soiree here, so if you’ll excuse me…” He waved at them and made a step towards the three, not letting any sign of fear appear on his face or body composure. Starkweather and Cartwright, Whitelaw’s two lap dogs, broadened their shoulders and smirked at Jace.

“You will go nowhere until I say so.” Whitelaw said with a dangerous growl.

“Ah, is this the part where I drop the soap or what did you have in mind?” Jace was definitely proud that he managed to sound so cocky.

“This is the part where you pay for everything, Herondale.”

“I would rather say that this is the part where you three get the hell out of here before I will make you regret every single breath you have drawn in since you were born.”

All heads snapped towards the door, where Alec stood, blade raised and a threatening gleam in his eyes. Whitelaw clearly fought with himself, it was one thing to attack Jace alone and unarmed in the shower with the advantage three against one, but it was totally another to attack a completely pissed off and armed Alec at the same time.

“Relax Lightwood, we just had a little chat.” With that, the three retreated, but not without throwing murdering glances in Alec’s and Jace’s direction.

Jace let out the breath he had not been aware he was holding.

“Thanks mate, this could have gone ugly. I didn’t think they would sink that low.”

“Nope, neither did I. Are you all right?”

Jace closed his eyes briefly. No, he was not, if he was honest. He really hadn’t expected them to do something like that. But he just shrugged, gathering his things.

“Come on, I’ve got something I want to show you.” Alec smiled at him, knowing that he was not ok but not pushing it, but making sure Jace would not be alone now. “I just have to thank Lily and let her know you’re alright.”

“Lily?”

“Yes, she ran to me when she saw that the three entered the shower without towels and stuff, she suspected that they were up to something.”

“I guess I owe her one. And you.”

Jace’s mismatched eyes locked with Alec’s, but the raven boy just shook his head. “Not for something like that. You would do the same.”

“Damn well.”

***

Alec could tell that Jace was more shaken than he wanted to admit, maybe even in front of himself. After they had thanked Lily, Alec had given Jace no chance but to follow him into his room. As usual, Jace lay down on the spare bed, but the way he curled up into fetal position made it really obvious that he was not ok.

As Jace clearly was not intending to talk about it, Alec just started telling him random things of his life. He knew pressing the matter would not help, so he tried to distract the blond. He told Jace about his siblings, little Max and Izzy and also about the life in an Institute, the missions they were assigned to, the paperwork which was required and often more time consuming then the rest, something also on his list to change. When it became apparent that this didn’t really help Jace either, he made up his mind and stood up.

“Move.”

Jace looked up at him in surprise. He had really tried to concentrate on the stories Alec told him, but his mind had kept wandering to the bathroom and Whitelaw’s cold eyes. His whole body was still tense.

“Scoot over” Alec stated again, nudging him slightly in the side, leaving the blond no other option than to comply. The bed was narrow and it was a miracle they fitted together in it, but as soon as Jace felt Alec’s arms wrap around him, he felt the tension leaving his body. Alec started to comb through Jace’s hair in a soothing manor, but otherwise he just continued with the random story telling, a fact Jace was really grateful for. He just needed to lay there and listen, humming from time to time his agreement or shaking his head, while he felt the reassuring comfort of Alec’s body wrapped around him.

If Alec was asked later about the point of time he had fallen for Jace, he maybe would say this moment, when his heartbeat synched with the blond’s, he felt his breath on his face and Jace relaxing in his embrace, even though he was not aware of the fact then.

“Thank you” Jace whispered against his mouth, when he finally felt strong enough to speak again.

“You’re welcome.”

They lay there for a moment, their faces only inches away, breathing the air of the other, before Alec felt the need to break the silence.

“I’m going to get married.” He had never spoken it aloud in front of others outside his family. It suddenly felt a lot realer than it had before.

“Uh, congratulations?” Jace seemed perplex and a bit lost for words. “So who is the lucky boy?”

“It’s actually a girl. Lydia.”

Jace pulled a bit back to be able to look at Alec better, he seemed even more puzzled now. “Sorry, I always assumed you’re gay.”

“Well, I am. Kind of. Gay.”

“I think now you’ve lost me. Why would you marry a girl then?”

“It’s not about who I am, it’s just about family alliances. We both have the right last name and with that, we could make a lot of things possible. Necessary change.”

Jace went still for a moment, not only did he not reply, but also his whole body was still, no muscle moved.

“You can’t be fucking serious, Alec! What century are you living in? 16th century?” When Alec didn’t reply but blushed and avoided his eyes, Jace drew in a shaky breath.

“You are serious. But why, Alec? I totally agree with you, change is necessary. But you cannot sacrifice yourself for that change. What about you? What about the girl?”

Alec sighed, but was still not possible to look Jace really into the eyes. The blond asked the same questions than he had asked himself. He still was not sure if he really had made the right decision, but he had made it.

“She sees it just like me, we both see the advantages and don’t expect anything flowery. Arranged marriages are not that uncommon among the old families. My parents also have one.”

Jace huffed. “And that makes it better? That others do the same lunacy? And I don’t think we need to talk about the happy marriage of your parents.”

“Jace.” The hissing tone was a warning and Jace understood it. He shut up, but he still glared at his friend.

“Sorry, Alec. It’s not my cup of tea. But please, think about it. This is a huge decision. And how will it work when you’re not even into girls?”

Alec rolled his eyes, knowing too well that the blond had a valid point, not only one actually. “You sound like my sister.”

“At least someone with common sense in the family.”

“Careful there.” Alec shoved him lightly, as much as was possible on the narrow bed, but then he got serious again. “It’s also… It sounds childish, but I always wanted to make my father proud of me. He has achieved so many great things, and I just… And I know he expects me to do it, because it is the right thing.”

“The right thing for who?” But Alec just shrugged without giving an answer.

“What about you?”

“Me? I’m secretly married already.” Alec just rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow questioningly. Jace shifted slightly and stared at the ceiling.

“I don’t actually know, really. There is someone, but I don’t know if he wants me.”

“He would be stupid not to. But you want him?” At the slight nod, Alec went on. “So why didn’t you go for it?”

“It’s complicated. He is a bit older than me.”

“How much older?”

“Uh, I think he’ll probably kill me know. Or turn me into a frog, that is. Around 400 years?” Jace couldn’t stifle his laugh when he saw Alec’s mouth hanging open.

“So you’re dating a warlock?”

“Not dating a warlock. That’s the problem. At least part of it…” And, to his own surprise, he started to tell Alec of his relationship with Magnus, how they had met, that he had lived with him for the last couple of months and planned to live there in the summer break, not really knowing if his age had been the only reason why Magnus had kept it at friendship level. While telling the story, Jace felt his eyelids getting heavier and he had to suppress a yawn. He really didn’t want to sleep alone in his room tonight, but he was not really sure how to ask to stay. Alec had stated that he didn’t mind sharing, but he was not sure if he had meant it. But before Jace could push himself up to leave, Alec had already gotten up and thrown him a spare blanket.

“You’re staying tonight.” Damn. Jace definitely had to prevent that Alec was spending more time with Lily, it seemed he had already learned a lot about statements which should be questions. But he sighed in defeat, more than happy to comply.

While Jace was fast asleep, his soft snoring a vivid proof of it, Alec couldn’t fall asleep easily. He missed the warmth of Jace’s body, he missed his heartbeat against his. Furthermore, he was too busy pretending he didn’t feel at least a little bit jealous to really relax.

***

A couple of weeks later, Alec turned 18. He was not planning of having a big party, he never liked having parties, besides, he was not even sure if anyone knew about his birthday. The first part of the day had went by without anything happening, Jace had been the only one to congratulate him shortly. But besides a quick hug and a few words, he had not gotten anything. Alec had to admit that even if he didn’t like a huge fuss over his birthday a small would have been nice.

Just after dinner, he definitely felt a bit disappointed by now, Jace dragged him to the training room because he wanted to rehearse something and needed help. Alec sighed, but followed, it was not that he had something else to do. Jace let him go in first, the room was pitch black. When he was about to switch on the lights, the room suddenly exploded in sparks, colors and noise. “Happy birthday” “Best Wishes” “All the best” sounded throughout the room. Alec’s mouth hang open while he took in the sight. The training room was crowded with Lily and her friends, a huge, tasty looking cake stood in the middle of it and they even had managed to get a few garlands. Someone seemed to have good contacts to a warlock, when Alec looked at the sparkling lights everywhere. Alec blushed, but before he could get embarrassed, Jace pulled him in in a tight hug. “You didn’t think we let you turn 18 without a party”, he murmured into Alec’s ear. Alec laughed sheepishly, but let himself been dragged into the next embrace by Lily. “I think I owe you a thank you for the cake and the sparks” he said softly to the girl. She just winked at him. “Of course you do. Don’t worry, I come and collect.” With that and the starting music, the ice was completely broken. Some started to dance, others helped themselves to a piece of cake – which tasted amazing, especially after being starved by the strange food combinations they normally got served. The fact that nearly all kids were 3 to 4 years younger than Alec and Jace, didn’t bother them. They were friends that was what counted.

After a while, Jace approached Alec and pushed him into a secluded corner.

“I’ve got something for you.” With a smirk, he pulled out a flask and hold it out to Alec. “You’re 18 now, legal drinking age.”

“We’re in America, legal drinking age is 21.”

Jace just laughed. “I’m British, mate.”

Alec just shook his head, but unscrewed the bottle to take a sip. He grimaced and tried unsuccessfully to avoid coughing. “That’s disgusting.”

“That’s gin.”

“You’re really British, aren’t you.”

“And you are the only teen who complains about alcohol.” Jace said with a fond eye-roll, taking the flask back. “But I have something else for you.” He gave Alec another present and watched eagerly how the raven boy unwrapped it.

It was a custom-made bracer with protective runes carved in and the initials A.L. The leather was soft and of the same color than Alec’s hair. It fitted perfectly on his arm and had just the right thickness to protect but not feel uncomfortable. Jace bit his inner cheek, looking at him anxiously.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. It’s beautiful.” Alec was in deed a bit speechless, so instead of talking he pulled the other in for tight hug. “Thank you.” When they pulled away, they smiled at each other. Alec took another sip, this time he managed to only grimace.

“18 more birthday and you’ll love it. You’ll see” Jace laughed. They sat together in silence, the kind of silence only close friends or lovers could share, while they watched the other kids dance. Alec pushed Jace slightly and pointed towards Lily, who was dancing closely with another girl, kissing her from time to time.

“I wish I had been so brave at her age. I was deep in the closet then.”

“So you are out of the closet now?” _And still your father wants you to marry a girl_? Jace wanted to add, but refrained, it was Alec’s birthday after all and he didn’t want to argue.

“Er. Not really. But I wouldn’t mind being out of the closet now.”

“So why did you never tell?”

“Well, even when I was finally ready to admit that I’m gay, I never had a boyfriend. And I kind of didn’t see the point then. I always wanted to go to my parents and say ‘Mom, Dad, that is Brad, my Boyfriend.’”

Jace snorted. “Brad?”

“What’s wrong with Brad?”

“Mom, Dad, that’s my boring boyfriend Brad.” Jace couldn’t control himself and burst out laughing. Alec just huffed.

“Ph. Brad is a good name.”

“You should choose a Leonardo. Or a Shane. Or a Jasper. But please, no boring Brad.”

“I’m not discussing my non-existing boyfriend’s first name with you, Jace.”

“Maybe you’re also boring and that’s why you choose Brad?”

“I’m not boring. Are you drunk? Jace!”

“Oh I haven’t even started yet. But you are right, Jace is a great name. Sexy, strong. The opposite of boring. You should definitely get yourself a Jace”, the blond said with a wink and a teasing smile. Alec bit down on his lip, hard. Jace definitely was good name for a boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope no one here is called Brad... but as I spent my childhood years pining over a Brad, I hope I'm allowed to make a bit fun of the name, which definitely is not heart-meant.
> 
> Btw, I'm also pining for kudos & comments 😉


	10. Chapter 10

Normally, the days at the Academy were rather boring, every day had a tight schedule of physical practices and education. The actual missions the Shadowhunters were allowed to attend were therefore real highlights. In general, the pre-paired teams of two went together, but some missions required more people. So far, luckily, Jace and Alec had never been paired with their rivals. Since the incident in the shower, Whitelaw and his gang had tried no further approach, but the snarky remarks and the glares had not completely faded. Jace was always on alert, especially if he was alone somewhere. He was not scared of a normal fight, but he didn’t want to run into them in a similar vulnerable situation as in the shower.

This time, the two boys had run out of luck. They were matched with Bridgestock and Whitelaw for a dangerous mission. A huge fire-breathing demon had been spotted in an unoccupied storage location and they were supposed to check it out and kill it, if it really was there. Alec had been given command over the team of four, a fact Jace was endlessly grateful for.

The geared up in silence. Jace pushed Alec’s shirt up to apply several runes, next to the usual ones also the pyr rune, which made the wearer immune to fire. It didn’t last forever, but better than no protection. Alec liked the small hissing pain of the runes applied by Jace, he always had the feeling that runes applied by the blond worked better for him than runes applied by others or by himself. “Turn around” Jace commanded, and when Alec obeyed, he applied another healing rune and another energy rune on Alec’s back. Satisfied with his work, he gave his Stele to Alec, so that he could rune him up as well.

“Listen”, Alec said. “We have our discrepancies, but this demon is dangerous. It is one of the greater demons and not so easily killed, its ichor is poisonous, therefore we really have to be careful and fight _together._ If one of you has a problem with me being the leader, say it now.” He looked pointedly at Bridgestock and Whitelaw, but both remained silent, but also didn’t look at him. “Good. Let’s go then.”

Jace and Alec went in first, flanked by the two other Shadowhunters. The storage room was silent, nothing gave away that there was somewhere a greater demon hidden. For a few seconds the four stood motionlessly, before Alec gave the command to spread out, but to stay in a circle, so their backs were covered by each other. They moved silently, their soundless runes working perfectly. Unfortunately, the demon didn’t have to rely on his ears or even eyes, the demon had smelled them long before they had entered the facility. The demon had climbed on a wall, waiting patiently until they were in the middle of the room. Then he spit fire and everything went to hell.

Unfortunately no one had explained – or known – that the demon could not only breath fire, but also spit his own ichor. So when the first flames hit them, their runes protected them, but they were not protected against the poison in the ichor. A full load hit Alec in the face, leaving him screaming in pain. Jace sprang forward, rubbing away everything visible in an instant, but Alec still seemed in tremendous pain. “Now” he shouted nevertheless, and all four attacked the demon at the same time, who had suspected this and enfolded them in fire again. Alec felt his pyr rune burning, it would not last much longer. The problem was, that also the surrounding had caught fire. The ceiling and the furniture were made of wood, therefore it caught fire easily. Another obstacle was to get close enough to the demon to kill it, but be far away from it when it exploded to avoid the ichor. Alec hit the demon with several arrows, but they were not strong enough to kill it. He cursed, trying to think of something and trying to ignore the pain on his face. “Jace, you attack from the left, Whitelaw from the right, me and Bridgestock attack in the middle. Bridgestock, when you have a good shot you have to throw your axe right in its face.” They moved together, everyone fulfilling their task. Bridgestock gripped the axe harder, she was good with it, she could make the lucky shot. The demon was distracted by the attack from three different sides, it spit ichor and flames in all directions, but not with a good aim. The sweat was running from all their foreheads, the heat was getting through their runes. They had to finish the demon, now. Alec managed to get the attention of the demon and while it focused on him, Alec stepped slightly to the side to give the girl the better shooting angle. With all her force, she threw her battle axe and beheaded the demon, which exploded in a ball of fire and ichor, setting the whole place on fire.

Everyone of them was covered in tiny drops of the ichor, which seemed to burn slowly through their gear. They had to get out, fast. Bridgestock, turned to the right were Whitelaw was standing and she grabbed his hand, dragging him with her, while Jace and Alec fought their own way out of the burning hell. In the end, they didn’t know how they got out, but they did. Alec’s face was a mess, blisters covering his skin as he had had the worst impact of the first full blow of the ichor. “We need a healer. Fast” Jace yelled, looking with wide scared eyes at Alec. Bridgestock was about to move to the still standing portal to get help, when Alec suddenly yelled.

“Where is Whitelaw? I thought he is with you?”

“I lost him on the way, I thought he was in front of you and you would bring him?” Alec just shook his head, he should have been in front of them, but they hadn’t seen him, the room had been too smoky to see the hand in front of your face.

“Bridgestock, you’ll get help, I’ll get him.”

Jace looked at him in horror and then to the completely burning warehouse.

“You’re insane. You’ll die in there. His not worth that.”

But Alec didn’t listen, he just turned around and headed towards the door. “Stop you git.” Jace hissed at him, yanking him back before he could enter. “Let me at least add another pyr rune and a clear sight rune.” With military speed and precision Jace applied the two runes while he activated his own again.

“You stay here Jace.”

“The hell I will.”

Together they entered the ball of fire again. Mercifully, it didn’t take them long to find Whitelaw, he lay under a beam, unconscious. With all his strength, Jace lifted the beam and Alec dragged the boy with him, grunting with pain and exhaustion. They were just about to leave the building, when a huge splash of ichor fell from the ceiling, hitting Alec right in the chest. It burned right through his gear, causing the raven boy to yell out in pain. Bridgestock appeared at the door, taking over her still unconscious friend and carrying him with her, while Jace tried to wipe away as much ichor as possible from Alec’s bare skin, but it was nearly impossible, as the ichor burned right through all the clothes he was using. He scooped up Alec and stumbled in the direction of the door, ignoring his burning lungs and the pain all over his body, where the ichor from Alec had spread on him.

Outside two warlocks were already waiting. One was healing Whitelaw, the other took care of Alec immediately, but the boy didn’t move any longer, his pulse was very low and his breath very unsteady, the moving of his chest nearly invisible. Jace knelt beside him, holding his hand and not letting go. Tears ran over his face, which was covered in dirt, ichor and blood. 

More Shadowhunters, teachers and students alike, poured out of the portal. Two were guiding Bridgestock through the portal, another was carrying Whitelaw. The warlock who treated Alec just shook his head. “I need to stabilize him further before we can move him.” With shaking hands Jace had applied all healing runes he could think of, including the antidote rune, but all just burned away and vanished immediately. When the warlock finally gave the go to transport Alec back to the Academy, Jace felt a firm hand on his upper arm. “Jace. You need to let them work now. You have to heal yourself. You’re also covered in ichor and burns.” Jace looked up into Lily’s firm green eyes. He wanted to argue, but before he could say anything else, he felt all his strength leaving his body and he collapsed against her.

“He’ll die.”

“No, he won’t.”

Jace smiled sadly, shaking his head, not quite believing her. He felt a cold rush of magic washing over him, before darkness claimed him and he slipped into unconsciousness.

***

When Jace woke up, it was dark and he felt a dull pain in his body. His arms, especially the parts that he had used to wipe Alec clean, were wrapped in bandages. His face was covered in a thick, soothing ointment. He was not alone, Lily was sitting curled on a chair in the corner of the room, fast as sleep. On the other side of the room, he saw another figure laying in a bed, nearly completely covered in bandages, even his face. _Alec._

Immediately he removed his blanket and stood up, ignoring the pain, which shot through his body. Alec lay in the bed like a lifeless doll, unmoving, only the lifting and lowering of his chest indicating that he was still alive. He pulled another chair towards the bed and set down, taking the one non-bandaged hand in his, drawing small circles in his palm. He swallowed, hard, blinking feverishly to fight against the tears, which were prickling in the corner of his eyes. “Alec” he managed to croak. “You stubborn, stupid, git. I’ll kill you when you die; I swear I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” He laid his head on his friend’s hand, the tears no longer under his control, sobbing quietly. After a while, the door opened and a warlock slipped in.

“You should rest.”

“No.”

The warlock sighed, but didn’t press it. “You are still injured, but it will heal. The wounds seam to heal well, there shouldn’t be scars. But you need to apply the ointment regularly and drink the potion I brew.” He handed Jace a greenish liquor, which he swallowed down obediently.

“What about him?” Jace voice was a raspy whisper.

The warlock sighed. “Your friend got a lot more ichor on himself than the rest of you. The burning wounds have already healed, but his chest wound is ugly. His face starts to recover, but I cannot guarantee that there will be no scars. The problem is more that his body is still on shut down. He needs to wake up. Soon.” Jace heard the worried tone in the warlocks voice and didn’t dare to ask what happened after _soon_. He just nodded. He watched while the warlock changed Alec’s and his bandages, applying more ointment on the injured skin. The wound on the chest indeed looked ugly, the flesh was raw and covered in red, angry blisters. But to hell with scars, he couldn’t care less, as long as Alec woke up.

After the warlock left, he realized that Lily had woken up. She sat down on Alec’s bed, taking Jace’s other hand in hers.

“He is a fighter. He’ll pull through. Otherwise I’ll help you to kill him.

At that Jace just had to smile. “You were awake the whole time?”

“Yes, but I thought you needed time alone with him.”

Jace just sighed and looked at the 14-year-old girl. She was way too old for her age. “Thank you Lily.” He whispered softly, pulling her in a hug, ignoring the pain again. The embrace was more important than the pain right now. They sat there in silence for a while, before Lily had to go to her classes.

The day went by without Alec stirring. All their friends had visited, Jace had never left Alec’s side. With a sigh, the warlock had broadened the bed so that Jace was able to slip into bed with Alec, as it became clear that Jace would not go back to his own. Jace had just curled up next to his friend, when the door opened slowly and Jace heard tentative footsteps. He looked up and saw Boris Whitelaw in the doorway. He was also bandaged and bruised, but not as bad as Jace or Alec.

“You”, Jace spat out, while jumping out of the bed again, rushing towards the boy, who was clutching nervously his hands.

“How is he?” Whitelaw’s voice was barely audible.

“You have absolutely no right to be here. He is in here because of you! If he dies, I will end you. Did you hear me? I will end you.” Jace’s body was shaking with rage and fury, it took all his self-control to not lunge at the boy instantly.

“I wanted to thank him. And you.” Whitelaw continued in a small voice, but he stood his ground, not taking the bait.

“You can shove that up your ass. I wouldn’t have rescued you, I would have let you burn in that damn house. Because you are not worth it, Whitelaw, you are a racist little shit and nothing more.”

“But you did go after me.”

“Oh no, I went after Alec. Because he wouldn’t let you die. Why? I have no fucking idea.”

“Because he is the better person.”

“Damn well is he better than you. And me.”

It seemed that Whitelaw wanted to add something, but decided against it. He turned around, paused, one hand still at the hand knob, then turned around again.

“I…. I really hope he is going to be okay. And you, too.” He closed shortly his eyes before going on. “I want to apologize. Even if you did not mean it, you saved my life. And you are right, I didn’t deserve it. I lost my father in the war and my brother.” He added after a small pause.

Jace rubbed at his face tiredly. What was he supposed to say to that? That he forgave the boy everything he had done? All the nasty remarks, the attempted rape in the shower?

“I’m telling you not to justify myself or that you forgive me. Just so that you might understand it a bit. I know I was wrong. I still can’t believe he went back in that house for me. I wouldn’t have done it.” This time, Whitelaw really turned around and walked away.

Jace just gaped after him, closing the door with a huff. He really couldn’t deal with that right now. Whitelaw discovering a consciousness. What the fuck. Alec lay still motionless in his bed, unfazed from the shouting that just had happened. Tiredly, Jace slipped under the cover again, not daring to wrap his arms around Alec out of fear of hurting him more. But his pressed his hand lightly against his heart, leaving it there, hoping his friend knew that he was not alone. Jace was tired to the bones and fell asleep instantly, his body finally taking what it had been denied the whole day: rest.

When Jace woke up, Alec still hadn’t moved. A huge lump settled in his throat, that was not a good sign. “Please wake up, Alec, please. You cannot leave me alone. I need you, you’re the best friend I ever had.” He caressed the uninjured skin on Alec’s face tenderly with his index finger, before he went quickly to the bathroom. When he returned, he found two hazel brown eyes watching him. The water bottle Jace was holding fell to the ground when he urged forward. “Alec.” The raven boy gave him a crooked smile before he tried to speak, his voice only making raspy sounds. “Hush, don’t speak.” He searched for the bottle on the floor, holding it at Alec’s dry lips to help him drink. Alec swallowed carefully tiny sips. When they locked eyes again, silent tears were falling down Jace’s cheeks. Alec gently brushed them away with his thumb. Their foreheads touched and like this, they remind for a while. When Jace drew back to get the warlock, his eyes were still teary, but he didn’t give a damn about it.

Alec’s recovery took a while, he had to spent two more weeks in the infirmary. But he made a full recovery, except of a bunch of deep scars on his chest, which would remain for the rest of his life.

Whitelaw’s gang changed indeed their behavior towards Jace. Whitelaw had visited Alec once in the infirmary and Alec had accepted his apology and his thank you, but only on his behalf and on the actions Whitelaw had made against him. He had made it crystal clear that something like the incident in the showers was not something which could be really forgiven, Alec still felt the rage inside when he thought about it. He thought he would never be able to forgive someone who intended to hurt Jace.

When the excitement over the fire demon settled down, all went back to normal. They had to go to their classes, write tests and pass physical exams. Despite their injuries, which prevented the two boys from training for a while, they were still under the top pairs of their semester.

***

Throughout the entire time, Jace received postcard after postcard from Magnus. Sometimes there were weeks between one and another, sometimes only days. They all had different meanings. Once it was one with Belgian Waffles on the front, the other time of a cat referring to the fact that they both were rather cat persons than dog persons, one with a beautiful heron catching a fish, some with historical buildings they liked to visit, some with cheesy idioms on it, which made Jace laugh every time he had a look at them. To his 18th birthday, he got the naked David. He couldn’t help the grin spreading over his face and couldn’t help it that it stayed there the whole day.

“What makes you so happy?”

“It’s my birthday, can’t I be happy?”

“Of course you can, but there is more to it. Come on, Jace.”

Jace’s grin even widened while he pulled out the postcard and handed it over to Alec, who started laughing when he saw the naked man.

“Well, I think that brings a bit light in your warlock’s intentions. But for your sake, I hope he is a bit better, uh, equipped.”

Jace stared at him, speechless for once. “Alec Lightwood, you’re…” But Alec just laughed, throwing him his present.

“Here, for you.”

“Alcohol?” Jace asked hopefully, but Alec just laughed again and shook his head. “I have no idea how you and Lily smuggled the cake and the alcohol inside, I nearly got caught and expelled for trying.”

“See, that’s why I am prepared” Jace replied, throwing Alec a bottle with undefinable content in it, before he started to unwrap his gift. It was a simple silver chain, but this was not what captivated Jace’s attention. It was the ring that was attached to it. It was the Herondale ring, their family ring. His hand curled around it and he started to say something, but closed his mouth again.

“Jace”, Alec said softly. “I know you don’t like your family name because of the choices your parents made in the past, that they fought on the wrong side in the War and did terrible things then; and also because your father is an abusive asshole. But you are also a Herondale. Don’t let them take that away from you.”

“Where did you get this from?”

“You’re father sold it to a hockshop. I kind of stumbled over it.”

“You kind of stumbled over it. You cannot manage to smuggle alcohol into the Academy but you manage to dig up my family ring.”

“Er. Yep.”

Jace still held the ring in his hand.

“If you don’t like it, I can keep it till you are ready.”

Jace looked up to meet his gaze.

“Who says I will be ready someday?”

“Me. And I am a Lightwood. We are always right. That’s our family motto.”

“I bet it is.”

But Jace seemed to have made up his mind, as he slipped the chain over his head. “Thank you.” He whispered.

“Are you sure?” Alec sounded unsure now. “I don’t want to push you.”

“Sometimes pushing is good.”

“Ah, I bet you’ll like a bit pushing”, Alec added with small wink, leaving Jace speechless for a second time this day.

***

Their final exams where due shortly before semester end and all were busy studying. There had been indeed some pairs who had decided to become Parabatai, Jace and Alec just hoped for them that they didn’t do in just to excel in their tests. The boys had talked briefly about this option, but although they felt a deep connection towards the other, they both agreed that his was not a path they wanted to take. It just, somehow, didn’t feel right.

But even without being Parabatai, the blind trust they shared, even strengthened through their near death experience in the fire, went beyond many Parabatai connections; therefore they mastered every task thrown their way easily. Neither the theoretical part nor the practical was a hardship for them. They would get their results during the break, only then they would know if they had made it, but neither of them worried too much.

The first part of the three months break Alec would spend in England, to get to know Lydia better and to discuss marriage plans further. Jace just rolled his eyes at this, but didn’t comment further. He really hoped his friend would come around and see the craziness of his plan, but if not, he had decided to be there for him and support him anyway. After Alec’s return, they planned to catch up and they had exchanged numbers, to be able to stay in contact. Jace had also Lily’s number, who was excited to spend her holiday outside the academy for the first time since she got there, spending her summer break with her new girlfriend. They briefly hugged before each of them stepped through the portals, leading them to their destinations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as promised the next chapter😊 all your sweet comments really keep me motivated to write, so thank you for that 😘 I hope you liked the newest chapter! Please let me know what you think, also kudos are really welcome!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there,  
> this chapter contains smut, so if this is not your thing just skip the part in between the ***  
> Enjoy :-)

When Magnus had been searching for a place to stay, it had not been easy. He was sure what he wanted and what not, but to find it had been rather difficult. He had loved his Londoner apartment and planed on keeping it and if he was honest, he searched for something similar. He wanted big city life, he definitely wanted a country which was more Downworlder friendly than Great Britain, and, if he was honest, he aimed for something in an English speaking country. Though he spoke several languages fluently, a certain Shadowhunter did not, and he really hoped Jace would stay with him further, even if only on a friendship base. Though, friendship was not the goal he was aiming for. When his estate agent called him to offer him a huge loft in New York, he didn’t hesitate long. The loft was perfect. It had a huge balcony with a spectacular view, open kitchen and living room, a nice master bedroom with enough space for his tremendous clothes collection, an additional guest bedroom and enough space in general to accommodate his extra wishes. Magic could enable a lot, but it could push reality also only so much. It was not possible to stretch a tiny single-bedroom-apartment into a castle, but the loft was big enough to add again a training room for Jace or similar things. He smiled happily while walking around his new loft, adding little things here and there to turn the apartment into a real home.

Jace’s entire body was humming with excitement. 9 months had definitely been too much time away from Magnus. Jace had loved the postcards from all over the world and in his opinion, the naked David to his 18th birthday had definitely been promising. He knew Magnus was expecting him, but he was not entirely sure _what_ to expect exactly. Magnus had mailed him his new address in New York, a fact which pleased Jace. Naturally, he planned to stay in contact with Alec and therefore it was convenient to stay in the same city. He had never been to New York, but he was open for new experiences. Standing in front of the huge apartment building, he felt a bit nervous, but it was the kind of nervousness which didn’t make you sick but feeling alive.

He pushed passed the front door, heading to the elevator – of course Magnus was living on the top floor he stated with an amused look. When he approached the door, it slid silently open to grant him access. A small smile tugged on his lips, it seemed Magnus’ wards recognized him even here, which made him feel at home at once even though he had not even stepped through the door yet. After calling out Magnus’ name twice without an answer, he went to inspect the loft on his own. He decided to ignore the feeling of disappointment, which wanted to settle in his belly. Surely, Magnus had his valid reasons and something had come up which prevented Magnus from greeting him in person. The loft was huge, covering the entire upper floor. At the sight of the big balcony Jace smiled, he had always liked sitting outside with Magnus, talking about this and that. He pushed through the door and inhaled the fresh air of New York. The view was breathtaking; he had the full sight over the magnificent skyline of New York. It was already early evening, the sun had set, and everywhere were blinking lights, announcing the beginning of the second part of the day, nightlife. After a moment, Jace went back in to examine the rest. There was one huge master bedroom which Jade didn’t dare to intrude without permission and one guest room with a comfy looking bed, which he didn’t want to enter, as he certainly didn’t want to spent his time there. Instead, he went to inspect the kitchen and there he found a note from Magnus, stating that he was terribly sorry, but something urgent had come up and he had to solve an issue with a new Vampire Clan, who wanted to settle down in New York. If Jace wanted, he could of course join them in the Downworlder Bar, but he could also wait in the loft for him. Jace should feel at home and take what he wanted, just as in their London apartment. Jace smiled at the words _Can’t wait to see you again, angel_ which finished the note, but he also rolled his eyes, Magnus and his nicknames.

Jace thought for a moment, he really had hoped to meet Magnus in private, but he was too restless to stay in the apartment alone. Therefore he looked up the address and thanks to Uber, he was there a couple of minutes later. The area was kind of shady, but Jace was not concerned with his surroundings. He was just about to enter the bar, when he heard a heated discussion in the back alley. He paused to listen to the angry voice, but what really stirred him was the answer, given in a calm and superior voice – Magnus’s voice. He turned around without thinking and headed towards the noise.

Magnus stood surrounded by four vampires, who all seemed agitated, their body language hostile. Within seconds, Jace activated his runes and drew a blade. The vampires blocked Magnus’ way out of the alley and Jace saw blue magic pulsating at his fingertips. Good, he was ready to fight. Just as one vampire lunged forward, Jace sprang in one fluid motion over the vampires, to land in front of Magnus with his uplifted and glooming blade.

“If I were you, I would run. I give you one choice now, chose to live.”

The vampires just snarled and proceeded with their attack, thinking that one Shadowhunter and one warlock were no match for the four of them. Jace just smiled grimly at that and went for the first vampire. Normal Jace was skilled enough to kill all four of them, angry Jace who defended _his_ warlock, was like a natural force. In two swift moves, he had cut off the heads of two vampires, before they even had time to blink. The third put on a bit of a fight, but with a stab through the heart, Jace killed also this opponent. He turned around to eye the forth, but saw nothing but a pile of ash lying in front of Magnus, a ball of energy still in his hands.

Jace sighed relieved. He stood now in front of Magnus and what he saw made him swallow. Magnus looked breathtaking. He wore tight leather pants with studs at the seams, a plain tight black shirt and a sequined, glittery jacket. His hair was styled in little spikes, his green eyes accentuated with black mascara and on each finger a huge silver ring sparkled. “Magnus. Are you all right?” Jace voice sounded raspy, Magnus smiled at that.

“Of course, darling. Thanks for the help, yet I could have handled them myself.” Even though that was true, he couldn’t help the pleased tone in his voice. He loved that Jace had stepped in front of him and defended him without hesitating for a second. Magnus stepped closer until their faces were merely inches apart. He could see the thin layer of sweat covering Jace’s forehead from the fight, the flushed cheeks and the brown sparkle in Jace’s left eye and he saw Jace’s moving Adam’s apple, when he swallowed nervously.

“I know that Magnus. What are you doing in a place like that? Doesn’t seem like the type of place you’d like to spend the time.” Jace gestured at the run down looking bar and surroundings, trying to sound unfazed but he couldn’t help the light tremble in his voice.

Magnus brushed lightly over Jace’s cheek, a certain gleam in his eyes. “Something came up, but never mind. Do you want to discuss architecture now or shall we go discuss something else?” Jace had to tilt his head to lean into the touch and to look up at him, smiling a seductive smile.

“Oh, I really want to discuss something else. I really, really do.”

***

With a smirk, Magnus conjured a portal, just right behind Jace and before the blond even realized what was happening, he pushed him through it. With a small gasp Jace landed directly on Magnus’ huge bed, the warlock on top of him. Their faces were just inches apart, Jace could feel Magnus’ soft breath on his skin. A low growl escaped his throat.

“If you mean with discuss this, I’m totally in.” The warlock smiled down on him and slowly closed the gap between them, too slowly for Jace’s taste. The blond just took Magnus head in his hands and pulled him closer, pressing their lips together. Magnus made a content sound in the back of his throat, while he leaned into the kiss, giving Jace the control. Jace moaned and opened his lips to suck lightly on the older men’s bottom lip and as soon as Magnus opened his mouth, he slid his tongue in to explore the unknown. He licked into Magnus’ cheeks, sucked slightly on his tongue and draw just back for a split second to gasp for air, before he crashed their lips back together. His hands were entangled in Magnus’s dark spiky hair, making a mess out of it.

“Hm, you’re so eager, aren’t you?” Magnus murmured seductively, when they finally had to pull away to catch their breath.

“I’ve waited long enough.”

“Hm, hm” Mangus hummed in agreement, kissing Jace now, this time he was taking the control. He smiled when he felt Jace body relax on the bed, giving him all the power. He looked at the blond, his lips already red and a bit swollen and his eyes glazed over with lust. He liked the look on the blond, lying under him, panting for more.

“Are you really sure, Jace?”

“Fuck, Magnus, yes. I’ve been sure for ages.”

Magnus snickered lightly. “So eager, so good for me.” He whispered in Jace’s ear, causing a shiver to run down the blond’s spine. His body was covered in small goosebumps. Magnus kissed his way from Jace’s lips to his jaw to his throat, sucking lightly on his pulse point. When hearing the moan, which came out of Jace’s mouth he increased the pressure and sucked harder, leaving a red mark on the blond’s neck. With a lazy snap of his fingers, he removed Jace’s t-shirt, the impact of the cold air on his naked skin causing the Shadowhunter to gasp in surprise. Magnus smirked at him and paused slightly, but when the blond nodded he snapped again and removed his shirt as well. Jace’s hands went from Magnus’ hair to his back, scratching a light pattern on it with his fingernails. The soft groan which escaped him made the boy smile. Magnus smirked again and took the blond’s hands away to pin them over his head, smiling down on him with desire and lust. The way Jace looked at him made him rock hard in an instant. The trust he saw in his eyes, the longing, the wanting was nearly too much.

“Tell me if this is too much or if you don’t like it at all.” He whispered, pressing down on Jace’s hands, before he kissed him again, passionately and filthy, making the other moan louder. He took both of the blond’s wrists in one hand and snapped again, blue magic settling over Jace’s hands like handcuffs, forcing the blond to hold them in place above his head. Magnus smiled contently when he saw his work and heard the surprised intake of breath. He felt Jace’s erection pressing hard against his hip and he still saw the lust in his eyes, but nevertheless he needed to make sure.

Being hold in place like that, by something that came from the inner core of Magnus, nearly overwhelmed Jace. The magic felt warm and loving, caring. He felt secure, safe, ready to give Magnus all the control he wanted to have. He could do nothing more than look up at Magnus’ cat eyes and nod his agreement. “Please, Magnus, go on, please.”

This was all the invitation Magnus needed to go on. He kissed Jace again, his hand finding one of the small nubs on Jace’s chest, pinching and rubbing it slowly in a nearly torturing manner, swallowing all small noises Jace made at this sensation with his kisses. Magnus was so hard by now, it nearly hurt, but he wanted to take his time. He kissed his way down Jace’s belly, sucking and biting small marks into the delicate skin. He traced the different runes with his tongue, tasting the salty skin and leaving Jace a wanting mess. He really looked wrecked already; a fact which made Magnus even harder, if this was possible. With another wave of his hand, their trousers and underwear were gone.

With a groan, Magnus wrapped his hand around Jace’s hard and pulsating cock, stroking him a few times, before he moved down further. When he gently caressed the head with his thumb, spreading the precome all over it, Jace could do nothing more but moan, arching into the touch and thrusting his hip upwards. But Magnus pressed him down again, gently but firmly and Jace tried to obey and hold still. He was rewarded when Magnus licked over his length, before he swallowed him down in on go, starting to bop his head immediately. Jace moaned helplessly.

“Magnus, please, fuck”, was all he managed to say in his blissed out state. Magnus hummed lightly at Jace’s loss for words, the tingling sensation of that drawing another groan from the blond. While sucking off Jace further, Magnus’ magically lubed index finger circled Jace’s entrance, rubbing small circles over it before pressing in gently. Jace panted slightly, but his body adjusted quickly to the welcome intrusion. Magnus started to push in and out gently, fucking him at a slow pace till he thought Jace was ready for a second finger, while his tongue still swirled around Jace’s throbbing cock. The blond spread his legs wider to give Magnus better access, pushing back to get more of the fingers in side of him. Getting the hint, Magnus’s added a third finger and started to scissor him out and Jace bit his lip forcefully to not scream out load. With an obscene pop Magnus released his cock.

“Don’t’ do that, I want to hear you, angel. I want to hear every noise you make.”

Jace groaned helplessly, the sensation of the three fingers which were fucking in and out of him in a constant pace, nearly too much and not enough at the same time.

“I need you, I need you inside me. Now. Please, Magnus.”

Magnus smiled and hurried to comply this wish. He withdrew his hand and smiled again when he heard the little whine Jace made at the loss of contact. He lined his lubed cock up and pressed inside Jace’s tight hole, gentle and slow, giving Jace the time to adjust. When he bottomed out, he paused again.

“Fuck Magnus. Move already. Like yesterday.” Magnus snickered but didn’t need to be told twice, he started to set up a steady pace, retreating nearly completely so that only the tip of his cock remained inside Jace before he thrust back in. He increased the speed more and more until he heard nothing but the smashing noise of naked flesh against naked flesh and their grunts, moans and Jace’s little pleas for more. Jace’s eyes were wide and glazed over with desire; when he thought the feeling, the pace, the deepness of Magnus inside him got too much, he felt the magical handcuffs suddenly gone, giving him the freedom to pull Magnus down, to hold onto him while he spilled all over their bodies, the intensity of the orgasm hitting him by surprise. Magnus fucked him gently through the waves of his orgasm, increasing the speed just slightly again to bite down on Jace’s neck, when his own orgasm hit him soon after. Jace wrapped his legs around him to hold him close, panting happily, his hands holding firmly onto Magnus, moving from his back to his hair, tousling it. When Magnus finally rolled over, they both looked at each other in awe, before they leaned in to kiss each other sloppily.

***

Magnus was the first to wake up the next morning. He lay on his back, Jace sprawled over him, his blond hair a fluffy mess. He was naked, just as himself, only a small part of the blanket covered his gorgeous ass, the rest was bare. Magnus moved cautiously and tried to wiggle his way out of Jace’s hold, but the blond just grunted in his sleep and hold on closer. Magnus smiled, he didn’t mind the protectiveness in this gesture, in fact, he really liked it. But he was hungry and really needed to use the bathroom, so he pushed at him a bit more firmly, still not trying to wake him up. With a small huff Jace moved, but didn’t open his eyes. His breathing soon went back to a steady, deep rhythm. Magnus couldn’t help but sigh contently at the sight.

After he made breakfast – organizing two cappuccini from the barista bar next door, Belgian Waffles from a small café in Belgium he had once tried out with Ragnor and some egg benedict, he went back to the bedroom, where Jace still was deep at sleep. It really was a shame that the blanket lay exactly over Jace’s ass, Magnus mused, but before he could snap it away, the blond stirred.

“Rise and shine, angel. I made you waffles.”

Jace yawned and stretched while he sat up, giving a nice display of his moving muscles. Conveniently, the blanket slipped away.

“You magiced me waffles, you mean. Why are you wearing clothes?”

“Ah, semantics. That’s just the same, making waffles or using magic to gather waffles – all the same.”

“Still no answer why you are wearing clothes”, Jace said with a smirk and a mischievous gleam in the eyes.

“Point taken.” With a snap Magnus’ tee and sweatpants were gone, before he approached Jace with a predatory grin on his face, breakfast and waffles forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know everyone was excited for the Jace/Magnus reunion, so I hope it did not disappoint, but I’m not so sure about this chapter – so please let me know your thoughts.  
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Magnus loved the effect he had on Jace. He loved the way the blond’s body responded to his touches and kisses. Sometimes he wandered if he were able to make Jace come only from touching, sucking, biting and kissing him, without touching his cock. When Jace lay beneath him, his body pliant, his eyes wanting and ready for everything Magnus suggested, he had to remind himself that Jace was still young and that he shouldn’t go too fast too soon, as he suspected that Jace would go with everything in the first time. Magnus had to admit that it was amazing how he leaned into his touches, melted under his caress and got lost in their kisses. He loved sucking and biting at him, pinching his nibbles, rubbing and twitching them before he sucked another hickey into his slightly bronzed skin, leaving Jace a moaning mess. But he also liked the times when Jace’s eyes flashed golden and he pushed back, taking the control for once. It didn’t happen that often, but Magnus enjoyed it therefore even more.

Also outside the bedroom they enjoyed their time together. Jace helped Magnus again with his clients, preparing potions, shopping the ingredients, doing research. In the evenings, they watched movies, listened to classical music or went out for dinner – and they went partying. They were both outgoing personalities who loved to dance, getting lost in the rhythm of the night and giving your body over to the beat of the music. As Jace was now 18, legal drinking and clubbing age in many countries, Magnus showed him many clubs around the world. They went to an open-air electro party in Ibiza, they went to hidden clubs in Paris and they went to the famous Berghain in Berlin, which left Jace a bit speechless due to the sexual promiscuity displayed in the club and Magnus laughing at his shocked face.

But sometimes Magnus felt a dark shadow over them, the shadow of his own past. He had found Jace when the Shadowhunter had been at his lowest, he knew what the blond had gone through, which choices he had made and what consequences he had suffered for it. In return, Magnus had never really opened up about his past. There were so many things he was not proud of and so many things he didn’t want to think of, his mother’s suicide, who his true father was, what he had done in the name of him when he had been younger and followed his father’s lead. Deep down, he knew he had to talk sometime with Jace about it, but whenever the blond looked at him with a questioning expression in his eye, asking what he was thinking of, he just pushed it away, too afraid to face it himself and too afraid to stand Jace’s possible rejection. Each time it happened, he pushed Jace slightly away a little further, without realizing it himself.

***

Magnus and Jace were still lying in bed, enjoying the lazy Sunday morning with breakfast in bed and nothing to do for the rest of the day, when Jace got a text from Alec, telling him that he was back in New York and asking if they wanted to meet up. With a huge grin on his face, Jace answered the text.

“Who are you grinning at, angel?”

At the beginning, Jace had tried to talk Magnus out of this nickname, pretending to be annoyed by it. But as Magnus had insisted and just kept calling him it, “ _but you are an angel, Jace. My little angel”_ he had given in, as he secretly liked it. He liked being called angel or darling, he liked the affection it showed. He still couldn’t believe that he had found someone like Magnus, who was so caring and loving towards him. He just loved the way the warlock showed his affection, the way he kissed him possessively or the way he slid an arm around his waist to stake his claim when someone else was flirting with him. So when Magnus had gifted him two angel wings to go with his family ring, he had just huffed but put them on immediately, without taking them off ever since.

“It’s Alec. He is back in town. He wants to meet, do we have plans for this evening?”

“So, so, Alec.” The little annoyed edge didn’t went unnoticed by Jace.

“Magnus Bane. Are you jealous?” Magnus just huffed as a response.

Jace threw playfully a pillow in his direction. “You are jealous. There is no need for that. We’re just friends. Besides, you can come with me to meet him?”

Magnus could hear the gleeful tone, of course his little jealousy would delight the blond.

“Actually, I have some plans of my own.”

“Oh, what are you about to?”

“Just catching up with an old friend of mine, nothing special.”

Now it was Jace who eyed the warlock suspiciously, but after Magnus had pulled him down into a heated kiss, all other people were quickly forgotten.

***

As it happened, Magnus stumbled over Alec and Jace before he went to meet his ex. They were sitting in a park, really close to the house Camille was living in. Camille. He had not seen her in ages and technically he wanted to keep it that way, but she had sounded intriguing on the phone and part of him wanted to find out what she was up to. Nothing good normally, but he just couldn’t stop himself, even though he was old enough to know better.

Before he stepped up to the house to ring the bell, he watched Jace for a while. He was completely relaxed, joking with his friend. From time to time the boys touched each other, small shoves or brushes of their shoulders, nothing inappropriate but it showed their closeness. And he saw the looks Alec gave his blond, whenever Jace was looking somewhere else. A tiny part of him wandered if Alec was not the better choice for Jace, also young, also a Shadowhunter and clearly into him. With a sigh, he shook his head, trying to chase away the strange thought, before he turned to the house and knocked.

***

Jace was in an exceptional good mood after the time he had spent with Alec. It had been good to see his friend again and also to realize that they just clicked regardless the circumstances. When he went home, he was a bit disappointed to find the apartment still empty and Magnus still gone. He considered shortly staying awake, but he was tired so he went to bed, inwardly hoping Magnus would wake him up when he came.

When Jace woke up again, it was already morning the next day and no trace of Magnus. Jace frowned slightly and went to the kitchen, where he found a short notice that an appointment with a client had come up and he would be busy the whole day, but proposed partying in the evening. Jace smiled, it was a shame that he wouldn’t see his warlock the full day, but party sounded good. He loved traveling to the newest hotspots with Magnus.

Magnus looked tired and a bit off when he finally came home, but insisted on going out anyway.

“Are you sure? We can stay here and watch a movie or something?”

“It’s fine, I wanted to go to the club for a long time. I’m just a bit tired, nothing a large coffee cannot fix.”

They had a good time, but Jace couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off with Magnus. His look lingered a bit too long on him, but whenever he tried to make eye contact, Magnus looked away. But when he asked again, Magnus reassured he was just a bit tired and everything all right, before he kissed Jace deeply, running his hands down his back, squeezing his ass lightly. “We can always go home.” Jace murmured when Magnus gave his lips a break. Magnus hummed his agreement.

***

They slept in, when Jace awoke it was already around lunchtime, the sun was shining through the windows. Jace smiled when he looked at his still sleeping warlock, he was sprawled over the bed, his hair a fluffy mess only he ever got to see. He liked Magnus when he was all dressed up and styled with his fancy make-up, but he really loved him when he was like that. Naked, bare skin, messy hair. The realization hit Jace. He really _loved_ Magnus. With a tentative gesture, he pushed a few hair strains out of the warlock’s face, who stirred slightly at the touch. Jace knew how cranky Magnus could get if he didn’t get enough beauty sleep, therefore he tried to get up without waking him. But he was yanked back by a firm hand on his wrist.

“Where are you going, angel?”

Jace laughed and smirked at the sudden fresh feeling in his mouth. Being with a warlock definitely had its perks.

“Nowhere I guess.”

“Exactly.”

Magnus pushed him further down, straddling his legs while he started to kiss him. First his lips, than he continued with Jace’s pulse point, which was definitely one of the blond’s weak spots. He tilted his head as far as possible to give Magnus better access, moaning shamelessly.

“Oh god, I love when you do this. I love you, Magnus.” As soon as the words had left his mouth, Jace froze. He really had not intended to say it allowed, so soon after he just had realized it himself. But he could not take the words back either. Magnus seemed surprised as well, he paused for a few seconds but then just continued with what he had been doing. He didn’t say anything. At all. The silence was ringing louder in Jace’s ears than a gunshot would have. The short pausing showed that Magnus had heard it, but chose to ignore it. Magnus proceeded kissing his neck and then his mouth again, Jace just kissed back, but he was relieved when the warlock announced that he had to get a shower.

For a while, Jace just lay on the bed, trying to figure things out. He hadn’t expected Magnus to say it back right away, but something he definitely had expected. He had to admit the ignorance hurt him, but well, had he really believed that Magnus loved him? Frustrated, he stood up and went into the kitchen. He opened the door of the fridge, lost for a moment. It was stuffed with things he liked and it had always amazed him how perceptive Magnus had been. At the beginning there had been nearly now food at all, as Magnus could acquire everything with magic, so Jace had felt really _seen_ when Magnus stocked his supplies with the things he liked. Even the odd things such as plain yoghurt with jam. He pulled out one cup and added a few spoons of raspberry jam to it, his favorite flavor. But who was he kidding, these things just meant that Magnus was a good host.

He leaned back against the closed fridge, taking a spoonful, closing his eyes tiredly. He wore only his pajama bottoms and no shirt, and suddenly he felt cold, shivering slightly.

“Jace.” He heard the Magnus’ soft voice and looked up. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know I have.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s… I shouldn’t have assumed, that…” _you love me back._ But Jace couldn’t bring himself to say it. “It was foolish for me to think… Sorry, I just shouldn’t have said it. Just forget about it.” Even though he was tempted, he didn’t take the _I love you_ back, as he had meant it.

Magnus stood in front of Jace now, who didn’t look up at him, but just continued to eat his yoghurt, which tasted of ash all of a sudden, but he kept eating anyway to keep himself busy.

“It’s not that I don’t love you, I do, but maybe not in the way you want me to.”

 _It kept getting better._ “I said it’s _fine_ , just forget it.”

“The thing is, Jace, you don’t even know me.”

“I know you enough, Magnus.”

“You know only the things I show you.”

“Then show me the rest.” Jace finally managed to look up and kind of hoped to see Magnus’s cat eyes, but only his normal green looked back at him. He saw Magnus shaking the head.

“What did that bitch say to you?” Jace continued.

“What?”

“Ever since you came back from that meeting with your ex, you acted kind of strange. What did she say to you?”

“Camille? Nothing. She said nothing.”

“Oh, Camille it is now. So you want her now or what?” Jace looked down on his yoghurt again.

Magnus huffed annoyed. “That’s what I mean. You have no idea who I am, who you are, how things work. You are still so young, Jace.”

At that, Jace threw the half-eaten cup into the sink, splashing yoghurt all over the place. Jace watched it with an odd satisfaction, even though it would take Magnus only one snap with his fingers to clean it up.

“And that I am young is something new all of a sudden? I will always be young, Magnus. But I am not too young. Too young for what anyway.”

“You should go around and see what others have to offer. That Alec guy for example.”

“What the hell, Magnus? What has Alec to do with anything out of a sudden? He is my friend. Am I not allowed to have friends now? And you didn’t answer me. Too young for what?”

“Too young to understand what love is. To understand what you feel.”

“Don’t do that, Magnus. I know what I feel, you cannot deny me my feelings.” He sounded weak, desperate. “It’s okay, I understand that you don’t feel the same way and I really didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I feel what I feel.”

“How do you even know what love is, Jace?”

Jace’s body went completely still. “How do you mean that?”

“The thing is Jace, you grew up in a shitty home, your father treated you like crap. He is an alcoholic, he beat you. Then you lived on the streets, you even sold yourself. I was the first person in a long time who was nice to you, maybe the first person at all. I understand that you think you love me. But how can you love when no one ever loved you?”

Jace just stared at him, blank expression on his face. He blinked. Once. Twice. Then he pushed away from the fridge, his Shadowhunter agility allowing him to push past Magnus without touching him.

“I need to get ready, your friends will show up any minute. Or is this off the table?” He didn’t wait for the answer, just hurried towards the shower. He stripped naked and turned the hot water an. When he felt the warm spray over him, he allowed the tears finally to fall. He slid down the wall, curling up into a small ball, the water raining down on him. He heard Adam’s cruel laugh and heard Adam’s mean words. _“No one has ever loved you, boy. And no one ever will.”_ He heard Adam’s voice, but all he saw was Magnus’ face, his lips moving to say the words he feared the most.

***

Magnus stood frozen on the spot, looking after Jace. He knew he had hurt Jace, something that he had not wanted. Visiting Camille had been a mistake. Not that he hadn’t known that even before he went there, but had done it anyway. That woman held a strange power over him. It had hurt so see her again, not as much as it used to, but still. Camille had been her most charming self, offering him one of his favorite whiskeys, a Maccallen Fine&Rare. It was more the fact that she still remembered this than the fact that she actually served it, which touched his heart. Magnus was cautious; he knew that Camille could be charming if she wanted something. Apparently, the something was him. Soon after they had settled down, she started to flirt shamelessly with him. Part of him still enjoyed that part of the game, so he played along, winking, smiling, just innocent things. He had no problem with flirting, never had, but he drew the line when Camille started to touch him, just little touches, a hand on his arm, an accidental brush with her breast when she leaned over him. The next time she touched him, he hold her hand firmly and told her to stop, adding that he saw someone. Camille just laughed.

“Oh, come on Magnus. I’ve heard about your little Shadowhunter fling. You can’t be serious, can you? He is just a little kid in comparison to you! And he is a Herondale, so he can’t be really experienced in the love department, can he. I’ve never thought you would take advantage of someone vulnerable like that.” When she saw she had hit a spot, she just continued. “Besides, Magnus. Do you really think he even likes you? Sure, he likes the lifestyle you have to offer, the parties, the comfort, the money. But does he even know you? Have you told him about your mother? Why she committed suicide? Who your father really is? What you have done when you were young? Be realistic Magnus, when it comes down to it, there will always be you and me. Because I know who you are, darling, and I don’t mind. You have your flaws, I have mine. And we can both stay young together. He will age and die. Why bother with the heartbreak anyway?”

The words had stung. There was truth in them, that was the problem. He had never told Jace of his dark past, that his father was Asmodeus, King of Hell, for example. And she also was right that Jace was young and unexperienced. Did he really take advantage of that? Could Jace really like him without knowing his dark secrets?

He suddenly felt tired, a tiredness, which went deep into his bones. He had buried so many people, friends, lovers, enemies. Being immortal always sounded like fun, but the truth was, in the end you were always the one left behind. Except for his warlock and vampire friends, everyone would leave him in the end, voluntarily or not. Sometimes, he was just so tired of that. Sometimes, he was just tired of everything.

Magnus stood in the kitchen, captivated in his past conversation with Camille, until the doorbell announced the arrival of his friends.

***

Jace had no idea how long he sat under the hot steam, but when he finally managed to get up his skin showed an angry shade of red. He stepped out of the shower, drying himself quickly. He heard voices in the living room, which was a blessing, as it meant he didn’t have to face Magnus alone for a while. He knew they had to talk, surely he couldn’t have meant it like he had said it. Could he? Jace pulled a fresh boxer from the drawer and was glad that he had already prepared what he wanted to wear tonight – he wanted to make a good impression after all, it was the first time he met Magnus’ friends. He wandered if it still mattered. But he was glad to have a plan. He understood now why Alec liked to make plans. When the world fell apart around you and everything went to hell, at least you had a plan to stick to.

When he had put on his preselected black jeans and the white shirt, he stepped out of the room and into the living room, without bothering to look at the mirror once. His looks had never been part of his problem.

Magnus, Ragnor and Caterina were gathered in the living room, all three having a drink in hand. Jace was glad when Magnus handed him one, nodding his thanks but without looking him in the eyes. Their hands didn’t touch. Jace took a huge sip from the strong drink, but refrained from gulping it down in one go, as he died to do. But he had eaten only the yoghurt the complete day and getting wasted before they even had headed out, was not a good plan.

Caterina was a beautiful women with blue skin and fair hair, she had an open smile but Jace had the feeling she eyed him suspiciously, but this was something he was used to, being often the only Shadowhunter among Downworlders since he had gotten together with Magnus and being a Herondale in general. Ragnor was a grumpy looking green-skinned man with small horns on his head. Despite his grumpiness, he had kind eyes. As Ragnor and Magnus were deep into a conversation, Jace started to chat with Caterina. Small talk had always come naturally to him, and as soon as he discovered that she was a healer, they found common ground.

After the time he had been sitting next to Alec, waiting for the warlocks to heal him, condemned to do nothing, he had tried to find out as much as possible about healing. It bugged him that Shadowhunters simply relied on their runes. There were the Silent Brothers, of course, but most of the time when you needed them they were just not around. And he was sure that there were things, potions for example, which could be done without magic. Therefore, it was not hard to engage in an animated conversation, ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach.

As soon as they finished their drinks, they went to a club exclusive for Downworlders, as Ragnor didn’t like to glamour himself. As Magnus was a regular, they allowed Jace in as an exception, but he had to hand over his Stele and all his weapons first. It was a decent place with nice music and every kind of food imaginable, different raw meat for werewolves, fruits and vegetables of all kind for seelies, all human blood types for vampires and also regular food for warlocks and the occasional human or Shadowhunter. Jace relaxed a little, the music made the silence between Magnus and him a bit less obvious. He let his eyes wander around the illustrious guests. There was a group of seelies who seemed to celebrate something and a large group of vampires who were more interested in dancing than drinking. Next to them, four werewolves were seated who whispered to each other, a sneering smile on their faces while eyeing Magnus and his friends. Jace activated his hearing rune and caught on their conversation, and he had not been mistaken. They were talking about them, making fun of them – especially of Magnus. Jace leaned over the table, looking at Magnus for the first time since he had flown into the shower. From the uncomfortable way the others were shifting in their seats, they had heard them, too, but unlike Magnus, they were both no fighters.

“Magnus, you cannot let them talk about you like that. That’s dangerous” Jace whispered in Magnus ear so that the others could not hear them.

“Don’t worry, Jace, just let them talk. What can they do? I’m more powerful than them anyway.”

Thinking of the three boys in the shower, Jace didn’t give up. “Then show them. When you tolerate this once, there will be others. First the vampires who thought they can mess with you, now this. What’s wrong with you Magnus?”

Magnus just glared at him. “That’s none of your business. I’ll pay and then we go.” Magnus slid out of the table and went to find a waiter.

Jace just gritted his teeth, clenching his fists.

“So what’s wrong with you two? Why are you acting so strange in public? Are you ashamed of dating a warlock?”

The sharp words hit Jace completely by surprise. He was astonished to find Caterina’s cold glare on him. “I…”

“Let the boy be, Caterina. It’s clearly not him. It’s Magnus. The last time I saw him he was all sappy and now… what did happen?” Ragnor stared at Jace, but with a non-judgmental expression on his face. Jace looked away, not sure what to say.

“Well, I think you don’t have to bother getting to know me.”

“He was all over you the last time we spoke. Again. What happened?” But Jace just shrugged. He had no fucking idea what had happened.

Ragnor sighed and addressed Caterina. “Have you heard that Camille is back in town?”

“Magnus met with a Camille a few days back.

Both warlocks looked at him and exhaled in desperation. “Camille.” Camille was always bad news when Magnus was involved.

But before they could elaborate, Magnus was back and they prepared to leave. Jace threw a nasty glare towards the werewolves. He was just about to leave when a particular mean comment was made, in a very low voice but for his enhanced hearing loud enough. And suddenly he was done, he would not let some random assholes insult his boyfriend. Or whatever he was. Magnus. He spun around and approached the table.

“Careful what you are saying.” But the wolves just laughed.

“If you think you can scare us, you’re clearly wrong. You have no weapons, you have no Stele – without it you’re just a human, and humans are breakable little things.”

Jace just smirked. “I don’t need my weapons to do this.”

He activated his runes in an instant, grabbing the hair of the worst insulter and smashed his head into the table. Then he yanked him back and slammed him against the table again, while his other hand grabbed a steak knife. The sound of a breaking bone was oddly satisfying when he slammed the wolf a third time into the table, but considering the circumstances maybe it was not so odd. He pressed the knife against the wolf’s throat.

“Don’t mess with me or them, ever again. Or this will look like a children’s party.” The man didn’t answer, but Jace didn’t expected him to. He wiped his hand clean, threw the knife on the table and left the club, still fuming with rage. Outside, the others were waiting.

“What the hell, Magnus?” Jace could barely contain his anger. “Why would you let them do that?”

“I don’t care, Jace. Let them talk. Talk doesn’t hurt.”

“But talking leads to more. I had to learn that lesson.”

“Ah, what could they do? There is nothing much they could do to me.”

“Even though you are immortal, you still can die, Magnus.”

Magnus just shrugged. The _So what_ hanging clearly in the air. Jace just looked at him. “So you care so little about yourself – and about me – that you don’t care if you live or die? What _am_ I even to you Magnus?”

When there was no answer, the silence answer enough in itself, Jace just started to run. He knew he would never be able to run fast enough for the pain to stop hurting, but he could try at least.

He didn’t know how long he had been running before he arrived at Magnus’ apartment. He wondered if the wards still let him in or if he had to knock this time, but the door opened. Magnus was sitting in an armchair, cocktail in hand, not looking up. _Fine._ Or rather absolutely not fine. Without saying a word, Jace went for the bedroom. He pulled his duffle bag out of the wardrobe and started to pack all his belongings, furiously forcing the tears back. When he was done, he shouldered the bag and stepped out of the door. Magnus was still sitting there, it looked he hadn’t moved an inch. Tentatively, Jace stepped a bit forward. He knew he was begging, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. With a thick voice, filled with emotions and unshed tears, he addressed Magnus.

“Give me one reason, Magnus. Just one. Then I’ll stay.”

But the warlock remained silent, the silence the loudest answer Jace had ever heard in his life. He spun around and walked towards the door, still hoping for any word to hold him back. When he reached the door, there was nothing left for him to do then open it, step through it and slam it shut.

Magnus sighed when he heard the shutting of the door. After his conversation with Camille he had felt his walls coming up again, he thought he had done the right thing in letting – who was he kidding, forcing Jace to – go. But as if the slam of the door teared down part of his walls again, he suddenly wandered if he was not doing a horrible mistake.

***

Jace did what he always did when he was hurt and alone. He went to a bar. It was in the middle of the night already, around 2 am, but it was New York, one bar was always open. He slid into a table and smiled thankfully when a shot was handed to him, which he downed in one go. When he shifted a little, he felt his mobile in his pocket. He pulled it out, he had one message on it. Despite himself, he smiled when he saw it was Alec, proposing another time for a catch up. It was from early evening, but before he could start to think, he dialed his number.

“Jace? What’s wrong?” Alec sounded as sleepy as alarmed. Jace felt the lump in his throat growing, he was not able to say anything. He desperately blinked away the tears, his hand with the phone shaking from the effort.

“Jace, please say something. Are you hurt?” _Yes, yes I am. But not in the way you think Alec. Way worse._ But he couldn’t say that, the only thing he managed was a broken “Alec.” But this was enough for the raven boy, Jace heard already that he got dressed in the background.

“Jace, listen, you send me your co-ordinates and then you stay where you are. Understood? I’ll come get you. You stay where you are!”

Jace nodded but then remembered Alec couldn’t see that. “Ok”, he choked out. He ended the call and sent his friend the data, before he downed another drink. He stood up on shaking legs, but he knew he should get out of the bar before things escalated completely. He pushed passed the door and settled down on the pavement, his knees pulled to the chest so that he could rest his head on them. He was still not crying.

Alec was terrified for Jace, the hurt in his voice had been so clearly audible as if he had seen an open wound. He ordered a taxi as no warlock was in the Institute to portal him at that time of the day, or better night. When he stepped out of the taxi and saw the state Jace was in, he drew in a shaky breath. He took in the crouched down figure and the duffle bag. He had no idea what had happened between his last meeting with him, where Jace had been so happy, that it had bordered on _if you smile again I punch you in the face._ He knelt beside his friend and hugged him tightly before he pulled him up. Without resistance, the blond let himself been led to the still waiting taxi. He hadn’t said a word.

Once inside the Institute, Alec guided Jace directly to his room. Jace was clearly drunk and clearly hurt – and Alec clearly out of his depth.

“Come on” he pushed the blond lightly onto the bed, which the other just let happen. Alec undid Jace’s shoelaces and pulled them off, before he crept into bed with him.

“Alec. You really came.” His voice sounded broken with a slight edge, as if he had expected something different.

“Of course, Jace, I’ll always come for you.” Alec’s heart clenched when he heard the surprise in his friend’s voice. For the lack of knowing what else to do, he started to comb Jace’s hair a little, and at that, finally, the blond started to sob. Alec did nothing else but combing and humming, letting the blond sob. Jace did not say much about what had happened between him and Magnus, but enough to enrage Alec. He would kill that damn warlock for hurting Jace like that. Finally, he felt the breath of Jace getting deeper, but he continued stroking his hair until he was completely sure that the blond was asleep, before he curled up next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, I know that was probably not what you wanted, but here we are. Anyways, I'd love to know what you think of this development! Thanks for leaving comments&kudos!


	13. Chapter 13

Alec decided to let Jace sleep, he assumed the blond needed it. Hell, _he_ needed it after staying up nearly the whole night, and he didn’t have anything to drink to go with it. But he had to take care of his duties first. In his father’s and mother’s absence, he had taken over some of their tasks. Not all, the operational duties were in different hands, as he still attended the Academy and therefore his training didn’t count as completed yet. But he filed the reports, looked into the current demon activities (not many, thankfully) and stuff like that. After he’d done his share, he stood up and left his father’s office to go check on Jace. The blond still lay in his bed, but he was awake now – barely, but still. His eyes were blood shot and at the sight of the sad expression in them Alec had to suppress a sigh. Damn warlock.

“Hey.”

“Hey. What time is it?”

“You just missed lunch. But I can get you something from the kitchen if you want?”

Jace groaned and sat up slowly with a grimace, his hands massaging his temples. “Thanks, mate, but I’m good.”

“You need to eat something.”

“No, I don’t.”

Alec rolled his eyes but sat down next to his friend, applying and Iratze against the hangover, even though it didn’t do much good, but better than nothing. Next to it, he carved a nourishing rune.

“You ok? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, Alec. But I will be. And I definitely don’t wanna talk about it.”

“That’s all right, you don’t have to be fine right now. I’m here, ok? Come on, you should get a shower and then we should train a bit, the Academy is about to start and we want to kick ass.”

Jace huffed a little, but tried to get up, secretly glad that Alec gave him something to do, something to tear his mind from the pain inside of him.

“Can I not even sulk in piece for a minute? You don’t happen to have a hangover potion laying around?”

Alec just laughed. “Nope. Someone who can drink can also get up and do his duties.” Now Jace rolled his eyes.

“Great. Uh, Alec? What about your father…?”

“He is on a business trip.”

Well at least one thing was going in his favor, Jace thought. He really was not sure if he had been up to meet Alec’s father again under these circumstances.

The cold shower helped, he felt a lot fresher when he came out of the bathroom, just a towel wrapped around his waist. When he now ignored his aching heart and the empty feeling, he could pretend to be just fine. Amazing.

“So what do you want to train?” Jace asked, rubbing his hair dry with another towel. He started rumoring in his duffle bag while he listened to Alec’s answer. Alec had to force himself to not stare at Jace’s still slightly wet body, while he was bending over his duffle bag, the outline of his ass clearly visible through the small, thin towel. He really tried to. But failed.

“Er, Alec? Training?”

Alec blushed and forced himself to look away. Lustering after your heartbroken _friend_ was definitely not acceptable, but Jace should also definitely not be allowed to wear only towels in public. Or he should only be allowed to wear towels in public. Alec shook his head firmly, wandering what had gotten into him.

“Uh. Bow practice. I’ll teach you how to do it properly.”

Jace pouted a little. “I’m not that bad.”

“No, you aren’t. But since when are you satisfied with _not that bad_? Come on, that’ll be fun.”

Jace made a face but did what he was told. He slipped into his training gear and strapped on a quiver and grabbed a practicing bow. Alec of course had a customized version, a beautiful handmade bow made of dark brown wood with protective runes carved in, which also matched the bracer Jace had gifted him. Instead of heading towards the shooting stand, Alec led Jace to the rooftop. At Jace questioningly raised eyebrow, he just shrugged and smiled.

“I have set up some targets here, sometimes I like the solitude.”

It was a beautiful late summer day in August, the sun was still burning hot but a refreshing wind made the temperature tolerable.

They started with a short warm up and proceeded then with hitting the targets. As always, Alec’s aim was flawless and Jace couldn’t help but admire the beauty of his fluid movements. When it was his turn, he grabbed the bow and aimed at the target. The first few arrows hit the bull’s eyes nearly on the spot, but when he draw the fourth he felt Alec’s hot breath in his neck, trembled a little - and he missed by few inches.

“Hey, that’s unfair.” Alec just laughed.

“You have to be able to shoot under distractions. But actually I wanted to correct your stand just a little. Come on, next one.”

Jace drew the next arrow and when he aimed, he felt Alec’s hands on his hips, correcting his stand just a tiny bit, before one arm grabbed his shoulder to adjust it also gently. “Like this” he heard Alec murmur. Instead of pulling away, Alec stayed were he was and Jace tried to stabilize his breathing. When he was ready, he let the arrow fly – and this time, he hit spot on. They repeated this a few times, until Jace didn’t need any corrections anymore before they proceeded with shooting from different angles and positions.

When they were done, Jace looked satisfied and a lot happier than this morning, the distraction had been good. It was already early evening and the sun was settling down. Jace dried his sweaty face with a towel and gulped down a bottle of water, before he turned towards his friend.

“Thank you Alec.”

“Don’t mention it. Are you up for dinner with the others or do you prefer to stay here? No one really comes here, I can bring you something.”

“That’ll be nice.”

As soon as Alec was gone, Jace felt the comforting warmth seeping out of his body. He watched a bird fly in the distance, towards sunset. Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut? Everything had been fine until he had to confess his love. It should have been clear to him that Magnus didn’t love him, why would he. Why would someone ever?

Before he could follow down this road any further, Alec appeared again with food and more water.

“It’s just sandwiches, sorry.” Alec said while handing one to Jace, who started chewing hungrily. He realized now he hadn’t eaten the whole day, the nourishing rune didn’t really count. Alec bumped his shoulder slightly with his, both boys watching the sunset.

“I’ve checked with Izzy what the appropriate social behavior is in this kind of set up.”

A small smile tugged on Jace’s lips.

“Have you, though? And what did she say?”

Alec smiled widely, and hold up a bottle.

“This.”

Jace’s grin widened. “You have the best sister, ever, do you know that?” he beamed while snatching the bottle out of Alec’s hands. “Tequila, perfect.”

“You would have said that to every kind of alcohol, wouldn’t you?” Alec snorted.

“Of course. Do you have salt and lemons?”

“Hey, I’m a pro, of course I do.”

“You mean, Izzy is a pro.”

“Exactly.”

Jace smiled while handing Alec a slice of lemon. He put some salt on his hand, licked it away before he took a huge sip from the bottle and sucked on the lemon. With a grimace he handed the bottle to Alec.

“You’re turn.”

Alec hesitated shortly but followed Jace’s example.

“Holy shit, that is disgusting.” The look on Alec’s face made Jace laugh, for real this time.

“You’ll get used to it.”

“I’m not sure if I want to.”

But they proceeded anyway, passing the bottle between each other. After a while, Jace lay down and looked up to the stars. He hadn’t noticed how much time had passed.

“You know, it was my fault. I ruined it.”

“What did you do?”

“I said I love him.”

Alec was silent for a while, before he lay down beside Jace.

“I’m clearly not an expert when it comes to relationships, but when an “I love you” ruins it, than there was something wrong beforehand. How can love ruin a relationship?” Alec popped himself up on one elbow to have a better look at Jace, who turned around to face him.

Jace just shrugged. “Because he doesn’t love me back. And then I could no longer pretend that he does, so I had to go. I’m alone again.”

“You’re not alone. You have me.” A tentative smile was on Alec’s lips, but inside he was furious. Why did Magnus have to lead Jace on? Jace of all people?

“He said I’m not capable of love.”

“That’s bullshit!” He _would_ kill the warlock the next time he saw him.

“Maybe he is right. No one ever loved me, so how can I know love then? How can I love when no one ever did love me?”

Alec would _definitely_ kill that warlock.

“He is not right, Jace. Absolutely not. You are capable of love, I know that. You said it yourself, you loved him!” _And I love you,_ but the words remained unsaid. That was not the right place or time, unfortunately there would never be the right time and place for Alec to say that, thinking of his upcoming marriage. But that he did love Jace, had become obvious to him during their time apart in the summer and their meeting in the park.

Jace made only a non-committal sound in his throat, clearly he was not convinced. Alec sighed and pushed one strand of Jace’s hair out of his face, before he could stop himself.

“You are beautiful Jace Herondale. Beautiful on the outside but even more beautiful on the inside.”

“And you, Alec Lightwood, you are really drunk.” Alec laughed a little, he really _was_ a bit drunk, but this didn’t mean that he wasn’t right.

“That’s not the point.” Their faces were close now, too close, or not close enough. Alec looked at Jace’s plump, pink lips and drew in a shaky breath before he leaned in a little closer. He felt Jace’s hand gently on his chest, pushing him back.

“You’ve waited so long, Alec, you cannot waste that on a drunken moment. Not on someone like me.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry, Jace. I didn’t mean to… You’re right about the drunken moment. But you are not right about yourself. You are fucking beautiful.”

With that Alec laid back, glad that Jace stayed where he was and didn’t draw back. Jace looked at his friend fondly, even if he didn’t quite believe him, he did feel better.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“But I don’t want to, I want to sleep here.” Alec’s voice was a bit whiny. Jace thought for a moment and then sighed. Why actually not?” He carefully applied two warming runes on Alec’s body before he fetched the towels to push one under Alec’s head as a pillow and spread his jacket over him as a blanket, before he curled up next to Alec. His breathing was already steady and even, and to this and the sound of Alec’s heartbeat, Jace fell asleep next to his friend.

When the first rays of sunshine woke up the boys, Alec felt stiff. He tried to sit up and groaned when he realized the throbbing pain in his temples.

“I hate Tequila.”

At that, Jace just laughed, but he looked affectionately at him, feeling a bit better than the day before, the emptiness not so prominent anymore. “Everyone hates Tequila the day after. Stay here, I’ll get you some breakfast and I see if I have a Katerfly left.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something mundane, the kids on the street introduced me to it. It’s supposed to help with the hangover. Not as good as a potion, but better than nothing.”

“Thanks. And I meant what I said yesterday, drunk or not. You are beautiful and I don’t mean your pretty face.”

Jace looked at him but avoided eye contact. “I also meant what I said.”

With that, he was gone, leaving a frustrated Alec behind, who suddenly felt a coldness settling in his stomach, which had nothing to do with the morning chillness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Yes, I do have a thing for roof tops  
> 2\. Is there anybody out there who hasn’t suffered from Tequila? (I mean in retrospect, drinking ¾ bottle of it was not the best idea I’ve ever had, though while doing it, it was fun)  
> 3\. As always, your feedback means the world to me


	14. Chapter 14

Soon after Jace came to live with Alec at the Institute, the boys got their acceptance letter for the second term. Not that they had had any doubts, but it was good to have it confirmed in black and white.

“Do you have already plans for after the term?” Jace just shrugged. He had always hoped to travel together with Magnus a bit, but now? He was not sure.

“I was thinking of a travelling year maybe. I’ve heard that some Shadowhunters are doing it, going from one Institute to another getting to know different ways of handling things. I’d like to learn more about healing. But I’m not sure. I guess there are not many Institutes ready to take me in anyway.” His hand clasped around the Herondale ring and sighed. It still felt strange to touch the ring without touching the angel wings together with it, but he had thrown them away in an action of rage. He didn’t need a reminder of the happiest time in his life so far. Later, he found the wings on the bottom of his duffle bag. Alec must have found them and put them there, he was not sure if he liked the gesture or not, but he had not had the heart to throw them away again, so maybe he did like the gesture.

“That sounds like a good plan. If you have trouble with finding good Institutes, I can help.”

Jace just nodded. Alec was always so tactful. Both knew that not finding a good Institute was the problem, but finding one, which accepted a Herondale. And Alec proposing to help was nothing else but to intimidate the Institutes with his Lightwood name. But he felt a certain warmth spreading throughout his body at the thought that his rule-loving friend was up to blackmailing when he was concerned.

“So what are yours?”

“Lydia and I agreed to marry in February, as it is a Branwell family tradition. I already checked with the Headmistress, I would get a few days of for that.”

Jace just snorted. Of course a Lightwood would get a few days of. Alec ignored him and just went on.

“Then I finish the term and well, maybe we try to apply for running the London Institute. I don’t know. What I do know is that I want to spend more time on thinking how a childcare system could work for the Clave. When I was visiting Lydia, there was one case were a little warlock child nearly died because her mother abandoned her. We have to try somehow to find them earlier, to coach the mothers, to tell them what to expect and offer help. And if they really do not want their children, then we can find another family for them. As warlocks cannot have own children, I suspect there should be enough willing to help out. Just the finding of the new mothers, that’s the problem. But since the War the Clave put so much effort in finding mundanes with the sight, I bet there must be a possibility to find new mothers of little warlocks, preferably already during their pregnancy.”

“Maybe we can dig a bit into the mundane systems. I think every country has also its own, when we do a bit research we can find differences and find a best practice, at least for adoption and these things.”

Alec smiled at his friend, his support meant a lot. Jace really saw the advantages of such a system, for warlocks but also for Shadowhunters like himself. And he really liked to have something to do, to prevent his head from spinning around the question why Magnus had played with him like that.

The next two weeks before their term started, they were therefor busy with computer research, getting fit, doing some missions and Alec had his additional Institute duties, during which Jace spent normally his time with Izzy. Max was away with the Lightwood parents, but Izzy and Jace got along well from the start.

***

Back at the Academy, they were curious to discover which other pairings had made it. Of course, it were Bridgestock with Whitelaw, Starkweather with Cartwright who had become Parabatai and were another Royal pair, and one pair which surprised the boys, a pair of mundane girls who had descended after the first term, Paola Antunes and Jacky Williams, also Parabatai. Their greetings, especially between the Royals and Jace, were still frosty, but no longer openly hostile, but Jace was not ready to forgive them so easily.

It was nice to be back with Lily and their other friends. Lily just looked once at Jace before she hugged him tightly and whispered “Screw the warlock” into his ear. She always seemed to know what was going on in his head, Jace thought fondly. Unlike his, her summer had been a great success. Her girlfriend’s parents had taken an instant liking to her and treated her like a long lost daughter, a fact which made her beyond happy, even if she would never acknowledge how much she had missed to have caring and loving adults around her. When Jace saw her glowing eyes when she talked about them, what they had done with them and for her, Jace was even surer that what Alec had in mind was more than necessary. It just was not right to keep a kid as young as Lily in a school without someone on the outside to care for her, a family where she belonged to. And as Jace knew just too well, real family didn’t mean you had to be related.

Already in the last semester, Jace had spent a lot of time in Alec’s room, sleeping there more often than not, but he had always kept his own room. This term, he didn’t pretend any longer and just went directly to Alec’s room, smiling when he saw that Alec had already kept half of the wardrobe empty for his stuff.

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” Jace said, while unpacking his things. Alec just smiled.

“I’m trying. Ready to kick some ass?”

“Always. I’m just not sure if I am ready for the food again.” Jace made a face while thinking of the non-existing culinary skills of their cook, wandering how in hell he had gotten the job.

“Only one way to find out.” Together, they headed to the Great Hall for their first dinner, pleased to see that their usual table was already crowded with their friends and two stools still empty for them.

***

Whenever it was time for the post to be delivered, Jace had to bit his inner cheek to not look up with the hope of a card from Magnus, he _knew_ it was never going to happen, never again. But each time he had to swallow down the lump in his throat. Nevertheless, when he looked at his friends, especially when he looked at Alec, he knew he would be fine, not now, but sometime.

In all other areas, they settled in again in the steady rhythm of the Academy. Their physical requirements had even increased compared to last semester, but both boys had never shied away from training. Also their teachers of the other classes were demanding, they expected top results from their elite.

Alec and Jace spent a lot time in their room together studying and groaning about their homework. It was sometime then, when Jace discovered that Alec barely was naked around him anymore. Being a Shadowhunter with all the training, the applying runes on bare skin and the checking for wounds after battles normally led to a natural handling of nudity. But Jace noticed that Alec always turned his back to him when changing shirts and doing it rather quickly. When he caught his friend staring at the mirror one time, a deep frown on his face and his mouth pressed into a thin line, tracing the scars on his chest, it suddenly hit him. As soon as Alec realized that Jace was watching him, he put on a shirt immediately.

But Jace would take none of that.

“Take it off.”

“Excuse me?”

Jace just rolled his eyes. “Take it off. Now.” He rumored in his side of the cupboard, and when he had found what he was looking for he turned around again, pleased to find Alec with a bare chest, even when his skin was covered in a deep blush.

Gently Jace pushed him towards the bed.

“Magnus made this lotion for me, for my scars on the back and everywhere else. It doesn’t make them go away, but they feel better.”

He started tenderly to massage the lotion in Alec’s burned skin. The scars were deep, spread all over his chest. The skin on the area seemed way too tight for the flesh beneath. With gentle fingers Jace traced the scars, one after the other and also the huge part in the middle of Alec’s chest, which was one big area of burnt skin, as the poisonous ichor had hit there full force. Alec had closed his eyes. Jace knelt between his thighs, applying more lotion until every part was covered.

“Do you feel that?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes, but it feels strange. Different than normal skin.”

Jace traced the uninjured surrounding of the scars, outlining them.

“Does this feel good?” Alec had to bit back a moan and just nodded.

“And this?” His fingers were on the scars again. He smiled when he saw Alec nod again.

“Do you remember when you told me to never hide from you? That is true for you, too. Never hide from me. You are so beautiful, Alec Lightwood, you truly are. And I don’t mean your pretty soul.”

Jace looked up to find two hazel eyes glued on him, following the movement of his lips. They locked eyes and both were not able to speak for a while. Jace still knelt between Alec’s knees, one hand resting on the scarred part of Alec’s chest, the other on Alec’s thigh to stabilize him. He tilted his head to look Alec in the eyes. Alec’s breath caught in his throat. He just had to lean a bit further to catch Jace’s inviting, already slightly parted lips with his. When Jace licked his lips Alec was helplessly drawn to the movement, he knew he was staring but couldn’t help it. He leaned in a bit further. Jace was still looking at him with wide, beautiful eyes. Alec thought he could look directly into his soul, so open and unguarded were they. He leaned again a little further and just when he thought Jace was about to stretch his neck to close the gap, a loud bang interrupted them.

“Lightwood. Herondale. We’ve got a mission.”

Alec groaned in frustration, but the moment was broken, both boys sprang up in an instant to gather their things.

***

“I think I made a mistake.” Magnus was sitting with Ragnor in his New York apartment, which felt cold since Jace had left.

“You sure as hell did a mistake. Listening to advice Camille gave you. _Camille?_ You really should have known better.”

“I know.”

Camille had been delighted to learn that Magnus had broken up with Jace and tried to take his place instantly. Magnus even had given it a shot, but he had soon realized that there was nothing left of his old feelings for her, but a lot feelings left for Jace. He still couldn’t believe how he had been so stupid, as if he had learned nothing from the past. True, he should have told Jace also about his darker sides, but why he had not just started with it and trusted Jace to cope with it? Yes, he had been scared to get rejected, and instead of risking of getting hurt, he had hurt Jace. Especially after everything the blond had been going through already, it was something unforgivable. The broken look when he had turned around to leave would stay forever on his eyelids.

“So why not tell him what an idiot you have been and make it up to him?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me. Besides, he is not allowed to have visitors in the Institute.”

Ragnor snorted, his skin turning into a darker shade of green, which only happened when he was agitated.

“As if something like that would prevent a Magnus Bane from doing it. You are still hiding.”

Magnus groaned, but he knew Ragnor was right. He still was too afraid to face his real feelings for that boy. He was about to give a snarky answer to Ragnor, when suddenly Caterina appeared through a portal in the middle of his living room.

“Caterina. What’s wrong?”

It was highly uncommon for her to arrive unannounced like that.

“I have sad news. No, no one we really know” she added, holding a hand up when she saw the concerned look on her friends’ faces. “But I think you might wanna know, Magnus. Stephen Herondale died. I just learned about it, his funeral will be in two hours already.”

Magnus paled a little. He had no sympathy whatsoever for that man, but knowing Jace he knew it would be a blow, even if the blond disliked his father and hadn’t seen him in years. He was still his father. Thinking of Asmodeus, who really was not a nice role model father at all, he knew the sentiment.

“Thank you for telling me, Caterina”, he said softly, and before he could change his mind, he conjured a portal to Alicante, where the funeral would take place.


	15. Chapter 15

**One day earlier**

Alec was busy writing an essay about different demon languages and their dialects, when the door opened and Jace stumbled into their room, a blank expression on his face. His eyes were huge, but hooded, his skin pale and his hands were slightly trembling. Alec was up in an instant.

“Jace, what’s wrong?” But the blond just slumped on his bed, burring his head in his hands. Alec knelt in front of him. When Jace looked up again, his eyes were teary with unshed tears.

“My father…” but his voice broke, his whole body was trembling now.

“Sh, it’s alright. I’ve got you.” Alec rubbed small circles on Jace’s back, before he carried on. “What about your father?”

“He is dead.”

Alec hold tighter onto Jace, lost for words to say. He knew Jace hated his father in a way, but still, he was his father, and being an orphan with 18 was always too early.

But as if saying it out loud had flipped a switch, Jace suddenly straightened and pushed Alec away.

“I don’t care. I haven’t seen him in ages, why should I care? He was a murderer, an alcohol addict. I don’t care.”

Alec had let go, but stayed close. “I don’t believe you, Jace. He was all those things and still he was your father, still he raised you. It’s okay to be sad.”

“Okay? It is fucking not okay to cry for someone like him! He deserved to die. I don’t give a damn.”

The contradiction between what Jace said and how he behaved was so obvious, but Alec felt at a loss how to address it properly. To make Jace see that he could mourn a father, even if he disliked the person behind.

“Jace” he tried gently. “I know you do. And that’s okay.”

“No, it is not.” Jace spat back. “What does this make me, Alec? What does that say about me? That I fucking care for someone like him? That’s my problem, isn’t it? That’s why no one ever loves me. Because I am twisted, I am evil, I cry for a man who murdered innocent people and beat me bloody. What does that fucking say about me?”

Alec gripped his chin forcefully, not caring if it left marks. “Jace, look at me. It just says that you are a normal person. He was your father. You are allowed to mourn. I know you don’t really mourn him, but the man he could have been, the man he should have been to you. And stop the rubbish that no one loves you. I fucking love you.”

Jace just stared at him, wide eyed, Alec was not even sure if he had heard him. “I don’t wanna cry for him. I hate that I do. I just… I just. I don’t know. I don’t want this, Alec.”

“I know. But I’m here. We go through it together.” Jace nodded and finally let himself lean against his friend, trembling lightly in his tight hold, but still the tears remained unshed.

“Do you already know when the funeral is? Will they burn him?”

Burning on a pyre was a privilege, as was giving the ashes to the City of Bones afterwards, to even protect the Shadow World in death. That the City of Bones was out of the question was clear, given the fact that Stephen Herondale had fought with the Circle. People who died a dishonorable death like suicide or people who were considered criminals or monsters, were buried whole and unburned in the Brocelind Forrest near Alicante, the families were not allowed to bury them in their tombs or mausoleums.

“Tomorrow. They will bury him whole. They will not burn him. There will be only me, Alec.” Jace sounded lost and broken. It came not as a surprise, but Alec had secretly hoped that the old Shadowhunter name Herondale outweighed the crimes, but apparently not.

“No, there will be also me.”

“I have to go see the Headmistress now; she will tell me how to proceed.” Alec nodded.

“I’ll come with you.”

When they arrived at the office, Headmistress Penhalllow was already waiting for Jace. She looked at Alec with a raised eyebrow, but let him stay.

“Mr. Herondale, I am sorry for your loss. Your father will be buried tomorrow. You have the permission to leave tomorrow morning to attend his funeral and you’ll have to return in the evening.” At least she had the decency to condole Jace, even though it seemed not heart-felt. Alec stood close to Jace, their shoulders brushed slightly. Alec felt the tension in his friend’s complete body. He wished he could pull him in an embrace again, but right now this what out of the question.

“Headmistress Penhallow, I want to request also a day of absence, to accompany my friend”, Alec stated politely, but firmly.

The Headmistress’ grey eyes looked at him astonished. “Absolutely not, Mr. Lightwood. You know the rules in this Academy and they are there for a reason. Mr. Herondale can stay with his family and attend with them his father’s funeral.”

Alec tensed now himself, he had not expected that. But there was no way he would let Jace go alone.

“We both know that Jace has no family left. I honor the Academy and its rules, I really do Headmistress. But here I have to insist.” Alec was completely in political mode.

“I am sorry, but my hands are bound.”

“Headmistress Penhallow, I know you can make an exception. This is not a leisure trip I want to take. You were so gracious to grant me days off for my wedding in February and even for my best man should I choose a student from the Academy. I am sure you can make an exception here. It would be only one day.”

Jace had been quiet the whole time, staring at a point above the Headmistress’ head. “It’s fine, Alec, just let it go.”

“No, Jace.” Alec gave the blond a reassuring squeeze, but his eyes hadn’t left Mrs. Panhallows’ face.

“There is no room for negotiation Mr. Lightwood. You have no permission to leave. You are not related to Mr. Herondale, there is nothing I can do.”

Alec could barely conceal the rage now he felt. It was one day, just one. She was making things difficult just because Jace had the wrong last name.

“Then you will find my resignation tomorrow on your desk, Headmistress.” The two stared at each other in a slient fight. Jace had tried to interfere again, but Alec had shut him up with another squeeze. There was no way in hell Alec would beg down now. This was a farce and they all knew it. The Headmistress could grant Alec easily a day off, for whatever reasons she didn’t want to. But Alec doubted she wanted to cause a scene, why a Lightwood stepped out of the Academy half-way through second year. And if she really insisted – he would rather resign than let Jace suffer through the funeral alone.

“That won’t be necessary Mr. Lightwood. You have the permission to accompany Mr. Herondale. There will be a portal at your disposal.” Mrs. Penhallows lips were pressed in a thin line, her grey eyes cold and deadly. But she had given in. A wave dismissed the two boys and they were glad to be able to leave the room.

“What a bitch.”

A small smile appeared on Jace’s hunted face. “Alec!”

“Don’t Alec me, it is true. And you know it.”

“You shouldn’t have…”

“Oh yes, I should. She should have granted it right away. Stop making yourself small, Jace. You matter. To me and you should matter to everyone else just like any other human being.”

As soon as they were back in their room, Jace curled up on his bed, Alec laying down next to him, wrapping his arms around him. Jace’s eyes still looked glassy, but it was clear that he was determined to not give in to that urge.

“You know, it would be ok to cry.”

“He doesn’t deserve my tears.”

“No, he doesn’t. But you do. You deserve to cry.”

Jace said nothing at that.

“Do you want to talk about him?”

“I’m tired, Alec.” Alec figured that was a no. He sighed. He had no idea how to really reach Jace. He mused the best he could do for now was to be there for him. So he just wrapped him tighter in his arms, hoping that if not his words, his presence and his touch reached the blond.

***

**The day of the funeral**

The next morning they got dressed in silence, both boys choosing traditional Shadowhunter mourning gear in white. Every attempt of Alec to initiate any kind of conversation was avoided by Jace, so Alec finally gave in and kept his quiet. Before they stepped through the portal, Jace turned to him.

“Alec, you really don’t need…” But before he could even finish the sentence, Alec cut in. He glared at his friend.

“What would you do if my father had died? Let me go alone to his funeral?”

Jace blushed slightly. “No, of course not.”

“So why on earth do you think I would let you go alone? When do you finally start to believe me that you matter to me? That you are my friend and I would do anything for you?” _Because you are everything to me._ Alec couldn’t help but sound a bit hurt, even though he knew that shouldn’t matter now, that Jace had just lost his father and was not in his right state of mind.

“I’m sorry, Alec. It’s just sometimes so hard to believe. But I know it, I know. I know I can trust you.”

“Yes, you can. Always.” Alec took Jace’s hand and they stepped through the portal.

Before the funeral, Jace had to go through the official paper work. The death certificate had already been issued, but he had to deal with the heritage of Herondale manor. His first reaction had been to turn it down, but then he had thought better of it. Even though he had no particular fond memories of that place, it was the only thing left from the once great Herondale wealth. Everything else had been lost in the war or his father had sold it to buy more alcohol. Herondale manor would give Jace the possibility to finally have a place to himself, he would no longer need to rely on others.

The funeral itself took place at the edge of Brocelind forest, where also his mother had been buried many years ago. At least they were together Jace thought by himself, he didn’t know if he found comfort in that thought or not. He stood for the second time in his short life at the edge of an open grave, seeing the casket containing one of his parents being led down into the cold earth. There should be a pyre, there should be heat and flames. Instead there was mud, dirt and coldness. And there was loneliness. Even as a boy, he had realized how lonely such a funeral was. Jace had seen the huge ceremonies held for other Shadowhunters, where the whole Shadow community mourned with the families, where the Ave Atque Vale – Hail and Farewell – was spoken by thousands of voices. He had found the unity always comforting, the knowledge that you were not alone. When his mother had died, it had been just his father and him and two of his mother’s closest friends, but he had not felt any comfort at all. The grown-ups had mourned by themselves and with each other, leaving the boy to himself and his dread. Maybe it was then, when he had learned that his feelings didn’t matter as much as the feelings of others, maybe it had been later, when the last friends had turned their backs on his father and him, leaving the boy alone with his abusive and broken father.

This time, it was the same but different. This time, he had Alec. Jace knew that his father didn’t deserve an honorable funeral, but part of him thought that maybe he did. Instead of the comfort of others sharing his grieve, he was not even sure if he was allowed to grieve properly, despite what Alec had said. Instead of others being there for him, there was just a crowd, glaring at him and insulting him and his family name. But he had Alec who glared back, not leaving his side, their shoulders brushing so that he felt his presence constantly. He was endlessly grateful for that, he didn’t know how he would manage without the raven boy by his side.

The silent brother, who held the short ceremony didn’t even bother to read the Ave Atque Vale, just proceeded with the Pulvis et umbra sumus – we are dust and shadows. At least that fitted, Jace thought, thinking of his life in the shadows. When he heard the earth being filled on his father’s coffin, he had to blink back the tears again. But he was damned if he started to cry now, in front of all the malicious spectators. He couldn’t help his eyes getting teary, but pressing his fingernails deep into his palms helped him avoiding actual tears. He felt Alec’s warm hand on his shoulder, indicating him to turn around.

They pushed passed the crowd, Alec’s hand was still on his shoulder, guiding him through it, when he heard a demanding voice. “Hey, Herondale”. Jace made the mistake to look up. A full load of spit hit him directly in his face. His eyes widened in surprise and disgust, but he was too stunned to react. He felt Alec tense beside him and he felt him reaching for his blade, when suddenly a portal appeared in front of him and the crowd was pushed back by a wave of blue magic.

***

Magnus stood slightly apart from the mob, which watched the funeral. He was not sure what to do, if approaching Jace would do some good or not. The boy looked so lost and lonely, but Magnus was relieved to see Alec standing by his side, solid as a rock. He saw how Jace leaned slightly into him during the short and unworthy ceremony. For Jace’s sake he had hoped that Stephen would be burned, but it hadn’t surprised him that he was buried.

When the two boys turned, the crowd parted slightly to let them pass. Magnus heard the murmured and yelled insults and his heart ached for Jace. Stephen had been a war criminal, he had fought for the wrong side, but Jace had never done anything to deserve such a treatment. He watched the Shadowhunters with a grim face, he felt his blood boiling, yet he was surprised to find his magic curling on his fingertips, blue sparks already visible and ready to be released. The next moment he was glad his magic had acted on its own again, something which happened only when Jace was concerned. He saw the woman spitting at Jace and he saw the movement Alec made to reach his blade. In an instant, he released his magic and pushed back the crowd, leaving them yelping in surprise and pain. With another wink he created a portal and stepped up to the two stunned looking boys and guided them through it. He had not once started to think what he was doing, he had just done it, to protect Jace.

***

The two boys stumbled through the portal, not really knowing what had happened. When Jace felt solid ground under his feet again, he turned – and froze.

“Magnus.” He sounded broken. His face was still covered in spit. With a snap Magnus conjured a warm washcloth and wiped it away, his hand trembling with anger. But he tried to calm down, his anger had no place here. He briefly looked at Alec, who stood there silently, his arms crossed over his chest and glaring at the warlock, but it appeared he had come to the same conclusion. Only Jace mattered now.

Jace closed his eyes and let Magnus clean him, his mind hat still not wrapped around the fact that a woman had actually spit on him – at the day of his father’s funeral. He felt the physical closeness of Magnus, standing only inches away he could feel the heat radiating from him. He smelled the familiar santal scent and all he wanted to do was wrap himself in it and forget everything what had happened. The blond felt the gentle brush of Magnus’ thumb against his cheek and even if his mind told him to stop, his body had a will of its own. He leaned into Magnus, relying that the warlock would catch him, and of course he did. When he felt the arms wrap around him, all he managed was whispering a second broken “Magnus” before his body decided that finally it was time to grieve and he couldn’t stop the tears anymore, he couldn’t help the sobs. He just leaned into Magnus’ embrace and cried like a child, who had lost his father, not caring that said father had been more a monster than anything else.

Alec just watched the scene, gritting his teeth and biting his lips until he realized a metallic taste in his mouth. Slowly he turned around, reaching for his mobile phone, which he had been allowed to take with him and retreated into another room. When he returned, he found Jace asleep on the huge coach, Magnus sitting next to him. Alec settled down on the other side, brushing two strains out of his face and brushing away the tears, which kept falling down slowly despite the blond being at sleep.

“The worst thing is, that he always thinks he deserves it. He never understands that he deserves the world. That he deserves someone who loves him enough to give it to him.” Alec’s voice sounded raspy.

Magnus stayed silent for a short while, before he looked at Alec. “I think he already found that. Even though the person might not realize it just now.”

This time, Alec didn’t say anything.

“You don’t like me”, Magnus stated after a while. Alec didn’t look up, he just continued to look at Jace.

“And that’s a surprise to you? First you make him fall for you and then one day you just decided that he is not good enough any more? How could you do that to him?” Alec’s voice was as sharp as a razor blade.

Magnus bit his lip. “It was never about him not being good enough. It was…. a huge mistake. I know you don’t have to believe me, you have no reason to, but I really never wanted to hurt him. I know I did, but I didn’t mean to.”

The earnest in his voice made Alec look up. He watched the warlock thoroughly, his brown eyes fixed on Magnus’ green. “Why did you come today?”

“I thought that he could use any support he could get. But once there, I was not sure how to approach you, so I stayed away until I saw what the woman did and that you reached for your blade.”

Alec rubbed at his face tiredly. “That could have really gone sideways. If you hadn’t stepped in, it would have become a bloodbath.”

Magnus nodded and smiled sadly. “You wanted to protect him.”

“Yes. I honestly don’t know how people can be like that. I understand that people have lost loved ones in the war, but spitting at someone at his father’s funeral? I don’t get it.”

“People always surprise you. Most often not to their advantage.”

“Thank you for being there for him today. I honestly don’t know why, but it seems he needed you.” It took him some effort to say it, but he did. Alec felt suddenly tired, very tired. He didn’t want to think about the fact, why Jace had cried in Magnus’ arms and not in his. But he couldn’t help the feeling that he believed the warlock, that, despite what he had done, he hadn’t meant it. That he cared for Jace and had hurt him not out of spite or carelessness. “I believe you.”

Magnus nodded. “Thank you Alexander, that means a lot to me. When do you have to be back at the Academy?” Magnus knew about the strict rules and how much Jace had invested to get into the Academy, he didn’t want to jeopardize it by any means.

“My father spoke to the Headmistress and pulled in a favor, we have to be back tomorrow by 9 for our first classes. If we are allowed to stay at your place, that is. Last names, boon and bane at the same time. I hate that.”

“And yet you’ve asked your father for that favor. There is not much you wouldn’t do for him.”

Alec closed his eyes briefly. “No.”

“Then don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t let him go. And of course you can stay.” With a snap he enlarged the sofa, so that Alec fitted comfortably next to the blond. But it took Alec a long time to be able to fall asleep, thinking over the things Magnus had said. Was he about to make the same mistake? He knew he loved Jace, but Jace loved Magnus, didn’t he? So there was no point in not getting married? He still saw the advantages a marriage could bring. But he also saw Jace kneeling in front of him, so close to kiss him. But he hadn’t. Because he didn’t want to or because he thought that Alec would get married anyway? Why was everything always so complicated?

***

When Alec woke up the next morning, Jace and Magnus were already up. Even though they both seemed cautious around each other, Alec could see that having breakfast had been something they had done often together. It felt kind of domestic. He felt kind of jealous. He quickly checked his phone and was relieved to see that they still had a bit time left before they had to go back to the Academy.

“Hey.” He approached the two, who were leaning over the kitchen bar and sipping coffee. Magnus handed him a cup, which he took gladly.

Jace smiled crookedly at him, their eyes locking for while. “Thank you, Alec.” Alec just smiled at him.

“How are you?”

“I don’t know, better somehow. You were right. Crying helped.”

“I’m always right, told you so.”

Jace just snorted. “Family motto, I know.“ They both laughed at that, the display of closeness giving Magnus a slight pinch, even though that was exactly what he had wanted for Jace. 

“Here take a waffle, their Magnus’ specialty.”

“Family receipt.” Magnus added with a wink, this time Jace and him broke out in laughter. It felt nice to be together like that, the three of them, strange but nice. Yet, the time ended too soon. Magnus opened a portal for them, through which Jace stepped first. Before Alec could follow, Magnus hold him back with a hand on his arm.

“He really deserves the world.”

They looked at each other, Magnus’ eyes switching briefly into his cat eyes. Alec nodded.

“He really does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first time all three meet! Feedback is always loved ❤


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is from the incredible Marvin Gaye - "Let's get it on". And yes, the song indicates what to expcect 😜😊

To Jace’s surprise, no one in the Academy gave him a hard time concerning his father’s death. After the incident at the funeral, he had expected at least some comments, but the Royals kept quiet, it seemed Alec saving Whitelaw back in the first term had really changed something. He was glad about it, as he was glad that his friends all hugged him, but didn’t mention it further. The funeral had been an endpoint for him. It had astonished him how much the death of his father had affected him, but he had come to terms with it. After his breakdown in Magnus’ arms, he had been able to think clearly, the first time since he had gotten the news. He realized that Alec had been right, he was not so much mourning the actual person, but the idea behind. With his father gone, he would have never the chance of having a family, at least not a blood related one. Knowing where his grieve came from helped him deal with it and move on.

Moving on from Magnus, was something different, though. Seeing him again and being comforted by him, had stirred something in him, which he had thought was over. He still was at a loss why Magnus had treated him the way he had, but unlike before, he thought there was a part of him, which wanted to understand and forgive, the part which would probably always be in love with the warlock. The other part just wanted to cut ties and concentrate on his new life, especially Alec. Ever since they had nearly kissed in their room, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking what would happen if he just went for it. He knew he loved Alec, always had. At the beginning, he always thought he loved him like a friend, maybe like a brother, but he was not so sure about it anymore. He longed for his touches in a totally unbrotherly way. But he was also scared. Scared of ruining the next good thing in his life. He knew he would not survive this, therefore he just watched Alec whenever he thought the raven boy would not see it and imagined what Alec would taste like, what he would feel like to kiss him, to touch him, well, to fuck him. But he was determined to keep his mouth shut this time.

It was about one month before Alec’s wedding when the taller boy finally asked him the question Jace had dreaded for quite some time now. There was nothing else, which he disliked doing more, but when Alec asked him to become his best man, of course he said yes. He had decided some time ago to stop challenging his friend about his decision, it was his to make in the end. And as his friend, it was his duty to support him and he would be there for him, no matter what. Alec deserved a friend like that, he had made his opinion clear on the topic, but if Alec wanted to proceed with the wedding, there was nothing Jace could do but stand by his side.

“What about your father, Alec? When I’m your best man, I will be right in the middle of the ceremony, I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Don’t worry about that, my father is too much a politician, he would never lose his face in front of a crowd. We all just pretend you don’t know each other.”

Jace nodded, he could live with that.

***

Alec saw the looks Jace gave him, sometimes he thought he saw a longing in the mismatched eyes of his friend which spoke of something far away from friendship. But he had also seen the looks Magnus had given him, he still saw Jace crying in the warlock’s arms in front of him. And, there was still his decision to get married which prevented him from acting on any of it. He tried to encourage Jace to get in contact with Magnus, but the blond just shook his head. The warlock had been clear, and if he wanted to contact Jace, he could do so, but the blond would certainly not. Secretly, Alec was happy to hear that, even though he knew he was being selfish.

Alec had thought long about whom to choose as his best man. He knew he wanted Jace, but he was not sure if it was fair to ask that of him. There was always the possibility of taking Izzy, she was not happy about him getting married either, but she wouldn’t say no. In the end, he asked Jace, knowing that he needed the blond’s support in this matter, selfish or not. He saw the turmoil on his face while asking him, the short flash of something in those beautiful eyes, but then he nodded, trying to smile and clearly biting his tongue to stop himself from arguing. Alec felt himself fall a bit deeper for his friend.

Inevitably, the day of the wedding drew nearer. The boys were busy with studying, training and avoiding their mixed feelings. Alec and Jace had the permission to leave the Academy the morning of the wedding and return the evening after.

The day before, Alec had already packed everything; it was not much what he needed anyway. His wedding tuxedo was already waiting for him at the Institute, where the wedding would take place. Lydia had been allowed to pick the date, so he had picked the location. The Institute was maybe not the most romantic place, but the wedding was not about that in the first place, so Alec figured it good enough. He had to admit he was nervous. He had nearly not seen Jace the whole day, he had been assigned to a solo mission and therefore absent most of the day, but he should be back in the evening.

Alec was laying on his bed when finally the door to their room opened and Jace entered the room, his hair still damp from the shower. He had a small bruise beneath his left eye, probably he would have a black eye in the morning, but Alec couldn’t help the thought that Jace looked even hotter like that.

“Hey there, ready for your bachelor party?”

“My what?”

“Bachelor. Party. That’s a mundane custom. You celebrate your last day in freedom with your best male friends.”

“So basically I’m spending my time with you.” Alec raised a curious eyebrow.

Jace snorted and threw himself on the bed. “Exactly. But I have music. And snacks. And I have alcohol, but unfortunately only Tequila.”

“Uh, I think I’ll pass.” Alec’s hands went to his temples, grimacing when he thought of his last encounter with Tequila. Definitely not a good idea. “And what else do they do on these occasions?”

“Normally they go to a strip club.”

“Don’t tell me you smuggled a stripper in here.”

Jace just laughed at Alec’s expression and open hanging mouth, throwing him a pack of salted nuts. “Sorry to disappoint, strippers were out. But I can strip for you if you want?” He wiggled seductively with his eyebrows, a small smirk on his face, but only half joking.

Alec gulped. “I think I’ll pass on that, too.” _Oh, fuck, yes, please, strip for me._

“You’re missing out, Lightwood.”

The next minutes they just lay there, eating snacks, Jace told Alec about his solo mission and how he got covered in ichor again so that he had to throw away his gear afterwards. Alec couldn’t help but stare at Jace. His hair was unstyled and looked incredibly fluffy, he wore just tight jeans and a muscle shirt, his biceps full on display. He was so beautiful like that.

“So what else is there to do at a bachelor party?” Alec asked, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.

“I think it’s all about doing things for the last time before you’re getting married and are not allowed to have fun anymore. So what do you want to do, Alec?”

“I have no idea. The academy is not so full of options for fun, I guess. Hey, maybe I want to get back to that striptease.”

Jace had no idea what made him stand up, if it was the spark in Alec’s eye, which set his whole body on fire or if it was the song, which played exactly the moment Alec joked about it. But he couldn’t help it, his body moved to the seductive beat with the oh so fitting lyrics before his mind could stop him, his hips circling and on his face a predatory smile.

_I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon_

_Let's get it on  
Ah, baby, let's get it on  
Let's love, baby  
Let's get it on, sugar  
Let's get it on_

Alec just stared at Jace, he had sat up while blond came closer, their eyes glued together. Alec felt his breath catching in his throat, his mind stopped to work. He looked up at the blond with so much want in his eyes, that Jace stopped thinking and just yanked his top over his head, before he sat down on Alec’s lap, straddling his thighs and grinding down seductively to the music.

_C'mon, baby_ _  
Let your love come out  
If you believe in love  
Let's get it on  
Let's get it on, baby  
This minute, oh yeah  
Let's get it on  
Please, please get it on_

And they got it on. Jace entangled his hands in Alec’s hair, his hips grinding down on Alec’s, while the raven boy pulled him down till their lips crashed against each other. It was a heated, rough kiss, teeth clashed against teeth, but soon their tongues found each other, playing, exploring the mouth of the other. Alec tasted like salt and honey, like burned caramel and Jace thought he would never get enough of that taste. He sucked at Alec’s tongue and lips until his lungs screamed for air, just to capture them again after he drew in a shaky breath. He felt himself getting hard, just from the friction of their hips and he smiled when he felt Alec’s reaction to it. When Alec’s lips looked raw and swollen, he continued licking and kissing his neck, tracing the prominent deflect rune with his tongue. He had to use every willpower left in his body to not mark Alec, to suck only so lightly it wouldn’t leave red spots. Jace knew he would get this only once, and he knew he wanted it to count. He wanted to feel Alec in every way possible, he wanted to taste him, to lick him, to bite him, he just wanted everything.

Alec had kissed before, but he had never been kissed like that. _He_ had never kissed like that before, with his heart and soul on the tip of his tongue. He just wanted to pull Jace closer, never letting go of him, just hold him and kiss him, until only their bodies were left and the world disappeared. He had never known that kissing was supposed to be like that. When Jace started to kiss his neck he couldn’t help but moan and he couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting upwards, to get more contact. But the way Jace grinded down on him in responds, showed him that there was no need in holding back.

When Jace tugged on his shirt, Alec hesitated only a split second. He still felt uncomfortable with his huge scars, but this was Jace. So he let the blond slip the shirt over his head and the moment his chest was bare, Jace started to kiss and suck at his scars. It was a strange feeling at first, his skin felt so different there than on the rest of his unharmed body, but he closed his eyes and just gave in to the sensation. Jace sucked slightly on his left nipple before he bit down gently, causing Alec to groan helplessly. “Jace” he whispered. He sounded raspy, wrecked. Jace captured his lips again in a sloppy and filthy kiss, smiling when he felt Alec’s back arch while he pinched the already slightly abused nipple.

Alec couldn’t help but scratch Jace’s back with his fingernails, leaving red marks along his spine and causing the blond to hiss in surprise – and lust. Jace’s hands travelled deeper, finding the bulge in Alec’s pants and rubbing slightly over it. He grinned when he felt Alec buck against the friction, eager to get more of it. He rubbed harder before he unbuttoned Alec’s pants and, with a sigh, stood up. For a brief moment Jace just stood there and looked into wide hazel eyes, before he saw Alec lift his hips up invitingly. Jace didn’t need to be told twice, he yanked the jeans of him and knelt beneath the raven boy’s thighs. He slowly leaned in, locking eyes, before he started to mouth the outline of Alec’s impressive hard cock through the thin fabric of his underwear. He inhaled deeply the musky scent, before his fingers found the waistband of the boxers and pulled them also down with Alec’s help. Alec’s cock sprang free and Jace stroked it a few times before he started to lick the tip. The precome tasted slightly bitter on his tongue, but not unpleasantly. Jace doubted anything to do with Alec could be unpleasant right now. He swirled his tongue and looked up before he swallowed Alec down as deep as he could. He hummed contently when he felt Alec’s hands in his hair, holding on to him and thrusting slightly into his mouth. They still looked each other in the eye, which made the whole act so much more intimate, making Alec moan loader.

“Jace, I can’t, if you…” Jace wouldn’t mind swallowing, but he wanted more. He wanted Alec inside of him. He stopped sucking and pressed lightly against the base of Alec’s shaft, before he stood up, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. Alec looked at him, wide-eyed and blissed out, he could swear he didn’t hear the music anymore, he just heard the zipping noise of Jace’s opening fly. When the blond stood in front of him, completely naked like himself, he couldn’t help but admire his beauty. He saw the fingernail shaped scars on his hips, which he had wanted to kiss the moment he had first seen him. He wrapped one arm around the blond’s waist to pull him closer and started to suck a mark over the scars. Jace had never talked how he had gotten them, but one day Alec hoped he would confide in him. But for now, he was satisfied covering them up with marks of his own. When he was done with one side, he proceeded with the next, the soft groans which spilled from Jace’s mouth inducement enough to carry on with what he was doing. When he was done with his work he paused for a moment to look up at Jace, to see the lust and desire in his angelic features. Alec opened slowly his mouth and he felt Jace’s hand in his hair, guiding him towards his cock. It was a night of so many firsts for Alec, he didn’t even have the chance to get intimated by his lack of experience. As soon as his mouth closed around Jace’s erection, the blond stilled and let Alec take the lead, only his increasing moans indicating how turned on he was. Alec swirled his tongue and started to bop his head, pleased with the reaction he got from Jace. But soon he felt Jace’s hands in his hair tighten and yank him back gently. “Alec, I need, I want you. Now, please.” With that Jace sat on top of Alec again, rising and eyebrow and when Alec nodded eagerly, Jace spread his ass cheeks and lowered himself down on Alec. He hadn’t bothered to use lube or prepare himself, it would be his only time with Alec and he wanted to _feel_ it. Slowly he lowered himself more, until Alec was completely inside of him. Then he stilled, kissing Alec deeply, the intimacy taking his breath. It burned, but it was a good feeling. It just burned enough to make it feel real. Alec’s pupils were blown wide, all he could do was whisper a broken “Jace”. At that, Jace started to circle his hips, slowly at first, but when seeing Alec’s head flying back and his eyes rolling, he started to ride Alec in earnest. He increased the speed, lifting himself up to grind down again, leaving Alec and himself a moaning mess, before he started to kiss Alec again. This was not fucking. This was making love. Jace felt Alec’s hands on his shoulders pressing him down further on his cock and thrust upwards at the same time. Jace rested his head against Alec’s shoulder for a moment, before Alec hit his prostate with one thrust and his head flew back in a loud moan.

“Jace, I am so close.”

“Then come for me Alec, please.”

And Alec came. He spilled all he got into Jace, Jace rolled his hips slowly to ease him through his orgasm, before he pulled him in another passionate kiss, until he rested his head in Alec’s crook of the neck. Like that, they sat for a long while, until their breathing normalized again and the thin layer of sweat on their bodies started to dry. Jace hadn’t come, but he couldn’t care less. They kissed again before Jace eased himself up, slightly hissing at the welcome burning pain.

“Are you okay?” Alec’s voice sounded slightly concerned.

“More than okay.” They kissed again, like kissing was the most natural thing for them to do. When Alec realized that Jace was still hard, he smiled shyly at him.

“I want to feel you inside me, Jace.”

“Are you sure Alec?” Jace sounded raspy, his eyes fixed on Alec’s and when the boy nodded, Jace’s eyes flashed briefly golden, the indication that he had activated his stamina rune. He got quickly up and fetched a small tube with lube, before he gently pushed Alec on his back, spreading his legs, taking his time to kiss down Alec’s body, before he started to prepare Alec. Alec just closed his eyes, opening his legs even wider to accommodate first Jace’s fingers, and then his cock, feeling more pleasure than he ever thought possible.

***

Alec was the first to wake up the next morning – the day of his wedding. He stared down on Jace, who really had developed a black eye, but nevertheless looked so peacefully next to him. It had been the best night in Alec’s life, and he doubted he would ever feel so complete again. He could lay here forever, just watching the blond sleep, but his life had other plans for him. Slowly he got up, trying to not wake the blond. He got dressed quietly, before he knelt down next to Jace. He pressed a light kiss on Jace’s lips and smiled when he felt Jace instinctively press back. His eyes were still closed, but they started to flutter.

“Jace” Alec whispered softly. When Jace opened his eyes fully and focused on him, Alec continued. “Last night…” he was searching for the right words.

 _Please don’t say it was a mistake._ Jace watched him carefully, he looked so raw and vulnerable Alec thought.

“Last night was the best of my life. I know I shouldn’t have done this to you, but I just cannot say I regret it. Because I don’t. I will never forget any second of it.”

Jace closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Alec’s. _So this is how you feel when someone let’s you down slowly_ , he thought.

“I won’t either. Never. But Alec, I just, I can’t..”

“I know. That’s ok. I’m not asking this of you. Izzy can be my best man, I’ll be ok. Will you?”

They looked each other into the eyes, unguarded, unmasked. “Yes.”

Alec leaned in to kiss Jace for the last time, he kissed him like there was no yesterday and no tomorrow, as if only the now mattered, and for this brief moment in time, it did. But then he pulled away, turned around, opened the door and left.

The warlock was already waiting with an open portal. Alec stepped through it, the taste of Jace’s lips still lingering on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was dying to write this chapter since I've started with this fic, so I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did.
> 
> Feedback and kudos are always loved ❤


	17. Chapter 17

Jace had no idea how long he lay in Alec’s bed, still surrounded by his smell and a fading warmness. When he had kissed Alec for the first time, he had known that all he would get was this one night, but he hadn’t known how much it hurt to see Alec go. Not that he regretted his decision, not at all. He would do it again without batting an eye. But still, a part of him had hoped Alec would stay. He sighed and got finally up, lost what to do next. When he pulled a shirt over his head and looked into the mirror and saw the small marks on his neck, which Alec had left on him, he was suddenly sure. He had made a mistake not following Alec. He had promised his support, even though his heart would break to watch Alec marry another girl, for the second time in his life. But he should be there, heartbreak or not.

He stormed out of his room and nearly ran into Lily, who was heading towards the Great Hall.

“What’s wrong, Jace, why are you not at Alec’s wedding?” Her green eyes watched him suspiciously.

“Uh, that’s kind of complicated. But I need to fix this, I need to go after him.”

“Ah, complicated we call it these days.” She gave Jace a smirk and wiggled her eyebrows at his marked skin. “What do you need? A mobile?”

Jace just stared at her. “You have smuggled a mobile in?”

Lily just laughed. “Hey, I’m here for ages. I can smuggle in everything. Do you need it?”

“Awesome, you are awesome.” He hugged her tightly, before they headed back to her room. Jace sent a quick text to Magnus, explaining his situation and asking for help. He had fought a short battle with himself, but he had found no other possibility to secretly go to the wedding, he was sure the Headmistress would not grant him a second portal after missing the first. He hated to ask Magnus for help, especially for this. He was still so confused about his feelings towards the warlock and even though he had hurt him, he had no intention in hurting him back. To his relieve, Magnus replied in an instant, telling him to meet him outside the Academy, from there he would open another portal to the Institute.

Magnus was already waiting when he headed outside, looking magnificent as always. He took in Jace’s appearance and noticed immediately the small hickeys. “So you are planning to stop the wedding?”

Jace shook his head. “I’m planning to support him.”

“You’re too good for this world.”

Jace just laughed dryly. “I think the world is too mean for all of us.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.”

“Magnus, I cannot do this right now. You could have contacted me anytime, but now, now I need to go to Alec. He needs me. And I need him.”

Magnus nodded and opened a portal. “Tell him to not make the same mistake.” Jace looked at him in surprise. “Just tell him that, he’ll know what I mean.” Confused, Jace stepped through the portal.

***

The Institute was already humming with life, everyone was getting ready for the ceremony, the last preparations were made. The reception hall had been turned into a ballroom, groups of tables had been arranged around a round dancing area, two open bars were placed on the sides. Everything was decorated with lilac violets and blue forget-me-not, both flowers symbolizing respect and mindfulness. Hints of gold, the Shadowhunter color of marriage, were integrated in the bouquets and hints of the three colors could be found on the tablecloth and menu cards.

At the end of the room, a little altar was set up, also decorated with violas and myosotis. A few rows of chairs stood in front of the altar, for the guests who attended also the ceremony and not only the party. Alec and Lydia had agreed to keep the wedding rather small, not more than 50 people, just family and close friends, no Clave officials.

But Jace had no eye for the preparation and the décor, he just wanted to see Alec to let him know that he was there, if he needed him. He pushed past the people, trying to figure out where he was. The most probable possibility was his room, therefore he went straight there. Jace opened the door tentatively, bracing himself to see Alec in his wedding suit. But nothing could have prepared him for that.

Alec looked stunning. He wore a tailor-made black tuxedo, with tiny golden marriage runes applied on the lapel, which made his eyes look even warmer than usual. His shirt was a classical white tux shirt and ended in a black cummerbund. His bow tie was golden, matching to the runes on his lapel. His hair was styled in a kind of out-of-bed look, which made Jace swallow hard, now that he knew how soft that hair felt and what his actual out-of-bed style looked like. Alec was deep in a conversation with his future bride. Lydia wore a white/golden wedding dress, which accentuated her blond hair nicely. Jace had to blink a few times, before he was able to speak. He cleared his throat and two heads turned to him. A radiant smile appeared on Alec’s face. “You came, Jace, you really came.”

“I’ll always come for you, Alec.” If Alec had still any doubt left, which he hadn’t, then it would have crumbled right that moment.

“Um, is it not supposed to bring bad luck when groom and bride see each other before the wedding?”

“Not this time, not for this wedding.” Lydia smiled genuinely at Jace. “We see us in 15. Go get your boy, Alec” she advised the raven boy, before she pushed passed Jace, leaving him standing stunned in the doorway. Alec didn’t need to be told twice. Without bothering that everyone could see him, he pressed Jace against the doorframe, took his face into his hands and kissed him. Jace’s eyes widened for a second before he leaned into the kiss, pouring every inch of his heart into it.

“What’s going on, Alec” Jace managed to ask between two feverish kisses.

“Lydia and I talked. We agreed the wedding was not one of our best ideas. Shut up, Jace.” He added laughing, when Jace just wanted to draw in a breath to tell him that everyone had known that months ago.

“It’s a shame, you would have been such a cute couple.” Jace had a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“ _We_ are a beautiful couple.” Alec replied before he kissed Jace again.

“Forget it, I will never wear a dress, Alec.”

“But you would look gorgeous in that dress.”

“That’s not the point, I look gorgeous in anything.”

“True, but you look even more gorgeous without anything.”

They both just laughed, holding tightly onto the other. Jace tilted his head to look at his boyfriend. “I think you need to go.”

“Yes, Lydia and I have to announce the cancellation.”

“Shall I go with you?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. Just wait here for me, all right?”

“I cannot believe you’re really doing that.”

“I cannot believe how stupid I was for not doing it sooner.”

Jace just laughed. “Well, and that, too.” He pressed a last kiss on Alec’s lips, before he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, a huge grin on his face.

***

“Are you ready?” Lydia looked at Alec with a raised eyebrow.

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this. Remind me why we thought that getting married was a good idea?”

“Because we were stupid twats who listened too much to our parents.”

“Obviously.” Alec couldn’t help the grin. At least, his choice for his nearly future bride had been a good one. He hold a hand out which Lydia took and together they stepped inside the ballroom, where all their guests were already seated to attend their wedding. Or so they thought.

The crowd rumored and looked baffled at each other when the two of them came in together. The two looked truly amazing and more relaxed then the regular bridal pair.

“We want to make a little announcement” Alec interrupted the whispering, all eyes were now fixed on them.

“We know, you are here to celebrate our wedding with us together and we want to thank you for coming. Weddings are all about trust and friendship, common goals and shared values. About respect and the promise to care for each other, to protect each other, to pursue joint dreams and to be there for each other, in good times and in bad. When Lydia and I agreed to get married, we looked at these things and found common ground. She is my friend, and I am hers, we stand for the same things in life and we want to achieve similar things. We can laugh together and we can be serious with each other, I would protect her from any harm.”

The two smiled at each other, before Lydia went on.

“While talking about everything which was there, we failed to see what was not. What a wedding should primary be about. Love. As much as I love Alec as a friend, as much I don’t love him in a romantic sense. Maybe it is a bit late to realize that on your wedding day, but better now than a day later. We know you all made a great effort to be here for us, but when Alec and I talked earlier, we both had to admit that this is not the wedding and marriage we want to have for the rest of our lives. We want the protection, the respect, the friendship – but we also want the love. This is why we stand here now and tell you that we cancel the wedding. We hope that you’ll understand and support us in our decision.”

Alec saw in the corner of his eyes that his father had risen to his feet and left the room, a scowl on his face. Izzy to the contrary had sprung up, a huge grin on her lips, rushing forward to congratulate them to their decision. After that, the whole ballroom erupted in noise. Some shook their heads and muttered things about foolish kids, others patted their backs and agreed with them that even if the decision was late, it was not too late, and that you should marry for love. It took them quite a while before they could detach themselves. Alec wanted to speak to his father, so he hurried after him, wandering where he might have gone.

***

Jace settled down on Alec’s bed, feeling more at ease than in ages. He had never pictured this outcome, that Alec would really choose him. When he heard someone opening the door, he stood up with the huge smile still on his lips, but the smile froze in place. It was not Alec who had entered the room, it was Alec’s father. For a brief moment, the two men just stared at each other. Subconsciously, the blond had straightened his stand and crossed his arms over his chest, chin slightly raised. It was strange to look directly into your own past, Jace thought, but it was also good. He didn’t feel intimidated or ashamed, he just felt relieved that the past was over. That he had been able to move on.

When Robert Lightwood just glared at him, his lips pressed in an angry line and his brows furrowed, Jace started to speak.

“Mr. Lightwood.” Robert winced at that as if Jace had insulted him.

“You.”

Jace was a bit at a loss how to respond to that, so he kept silent, just stared back, never breaking eye-contact.

“How much?” Robert Lightwood sounded disgusted.

Jace opened his mouth and closed it again. _Alec’s father wasn’t… was he?_

“Excuse me?”

“How much do you want me to pay for you to go away and leave my son alone? For this farce to stop?”

“I think you are mistaken here, Mr. Lightwood. The farce is not me but the wedding. I’m not here for any money.”

“What is it then? Power? Reputation? I can give the old glory back to the Herondale name. Just leave my son alone.”

“I don’t care for power or glory, I really can assure you that it is nothing like that.”

“Then why are you here, Jace Herondale? What could you possibly want from my son?”

Jace had tried to keep his calm, he really had. There could come nothing good out of him fighting with Alec’s father, but enough was enough. His voice was also sharp now.

“It’s a pity that all you can think of is money and power when it comes to Alec. As if he is not enough to want him just for his personality.”

“Don’t talk to me as if you know my child. He is born to accomplish great things. He is a leader. He is supposed to be the next Head of the London Institue. And you, you are ruining it for him.”

“As things are, I do know Alec. And you are right, he will accomplish great things. But he will do it in his way and nothing can prevent him from achieving his goals. He doesn’t want to marry Lydia. Lydia doesn’t want to marry him. He is doing this for himself, not for me.”

Robert Lightwood stepped closer, trying to intimate the blond. But Jace didn’t waver. He didn’t retreat, he didn’t break eye-contact.

“Alec is meant to carry on my legacy. He is my successor. What is he even for you, you are just after him because of his name.”

Jace shook his head, he couldn’t believe how this man didn’t get it.

“To me, Alec is the world. The sad thing is, to you, he should be a son. Not a successor or a leader or anything like that. He should be your son in the first place. I honestly don’t get how you can have such an amazing son and don’t see him at all. Not one aspect of him. He is already now a leader, he doesn’t need to become one. He is all he needs to be for now and he will become everything he wants to be in the future.”

Robert’s face morphed into a cruel smile.

“When I tell him what you truly are, he will…”

But he didn’t get further. The door had opened again and this time it was Alec who stepped through it, barely controlled anger clearly written all over his face.

“I know perfectly well who Jace is, _Dad._ He is my boyfriend, and I expect you to treat him with respect.”

Alec had pushed passed his father and stood by Jace’s side, interlining their hands and glaring at his father.

“You don’t understand, Alec. He is a pro…”

“In your place, I would be very careful now, father. I know about his past and I don’t give a damn. The interesting thing is, though, how do _you_ know? Maybe I should have a little chat with mother about how you spend your _leisure_ time on business trips, in cheap London motels for example?”

Robert paled visibly, but he didn’t dare to say a word to that.

“That’s what I thought. So just to be clear. He is my boyfriend and you will treat him as such whenever you meet. You will be nothing but polite. And now, if you don’t mind, we have something to discuss.”

Robert stood in the middle of the room, staring at his son and his boyfriend for a moment, before he turned on his heels and left the room.

Alec exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry, Jace. I didn’t want him to run into you alone.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. He has no power over me.”

“That’s good.”

“What do we have to talk about?”

“That.” With a smirk Alec hooked his index finger into Jace’s belt loops to pull him closer, before kissing him roughly. They both lost track of time standing there, kissing, holding on to each other, realizing that it was really _them_ standing there, kissing, making out.

A loud knock interrupted them. “Uh, it is safe to come in? All private parts covered?” Izzy’s voice rang through the still closed door. Alec rolled his eyes but told her to come in. Izzy smiled when she saw the two boys, flushed cheeks, swollen lips and incredibly happy.

“I’ve brought food and company” she declared before she strolled over to hug Jace. “Welcome to the family. What did you do to finally bring him to his senses?”

“Er, I don’t think I want to elaborate on that.” Jace replied sheepishly, glancing in Max’ direction.

“I think I can guess.” Izzy winked at him before she pinched one of the small red marks on his throat. “Good Job.”

Behind her, their little brother Max and Lydia had spilled into the room, all holding containers of food. “Is it okay to interrupt?” Lydia looked even more beautiful in her standard clothes Jace thought. She had already slipped into jeans and a tight shirt, while Alec was still wearing his tux.

“Sure. Food is amazing!” Jace’s stomach grumbled hungrily, he hadn’t eaten all day. They all squeezed themselves on Alec’s bed and couch, eating, laughing and discussing who had looked the most perplex and scandalized. Max had settled down beside Jace.

“So you are my brother’s boyfriend” he stated between two bites of wedding cake.

“I guess so. Do you mind?”

“Why would I. But if you hurt him, I’ll hurt you.” He looked pointedly at the blond, poking him with his fork.

Jace laughed at the display of family loyalty. “I wouldn’t dare, so please stop poking.”

Max smiled genuinely at him. “So who is up for Star Wars?”

“What’s Star Wars?” Jace looked curious at Max.

Izzy and Alec both groaned in unison and rolled their eyes in the manner only true Lightwoods could. “That, Jace, was the wrong question. Now he will show you all movies and not stop talking about it.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. Just because I made you watch the movies once or twice…”

“Once or twice? More like hundreds, little brother.”

“So how many movies are there?” Jace had still no idea what the others were talking about.

“There are three original, then 3 newer ones which are set before the original ones, then we have the complete new trilogy, then we have Rogue one and Solo – a Star Wars story, which I personally love but no one else and…”

“I think we start with the original first.” Alec interrupted before Max could give summaries of all movies. “At least Harrison Ford is hot.” Jace just looked stunned from one brother to the next. He had no fucking clue.

“And Leia.” Izzy agreed with a slight smirk.

“Right, and her.”

They settled down to watch the first – fourth – movie, which Jace found a little confusing, but soon he was drawn into the story. And well, that Han Solo guy _was_ rather fit. After a while, Alec shooed Max slightly away to be able to sit behind Jace, wrapping him in his arms. He kissed his temple lightly before he whispered. “Are you okay, Jace?”

“More than that. But a bit scared, these things never end well for me.”

“Don’t be Jace, there is no need. It’s us.”

Jace interlined their fingers and leaned back, resting his head on Alec’s chest. _Alec was right,_ he thought. _This is us._


	18. Chapter 18

Alec had never been happier in his life. Once he had thought that his life was just a sequence of events out of his control, things he had to do to achieve the goals his father had set him, now he understood that it was his life and his decisions to make. Cancelling the wedding had set something in motion in him, which went beyond the mere avoidance of an unloving marriage. Once again, his father had proven that he just didn’t _see_ Alec, he just saw a _potential_ and Alec was done being a projection. He wanted to be just himself. He had realized that his goals in life were as good as his father’s. He still shared most of his values, he saw the need for change, the world was in a place where change was necessary. And he would contribute to that change, but in his own way. He knew he had a new ally in Lydia, he felt that they could still accomplish great things together, she had a sharp mind, a strong will and the heart at the right place. He hadn’t been lying, she had become his friend, nothing more and nothing less. And now, there was Jace. He had never believed that he could be so happy. So in love. It was true what Jace had said to his father, he had cancelled the wedding for his own sake, but without Jace, he might have never had the courage to do so.

It was amazing to see that their friends in the Academy all supported them, not that he had doubted them but to feel it was something else. Sitting amongst them, leaning against Jace and feeling his heartbeat against his, laughing with them or talking about serious topic made him realize that he had found a second family. His first would always be his sister Izzy, his brother Max and Jace, but these kids were his second. The way Jace bickered with Lily and teased the others, he knew Jace felt the same way, only that maybe for him they were his first.

It astonished him, how easy it was to love Jace openly – and how easily Jace loved him back. It was as if nothing had changed between them – and everything. He could never get enough of touching Jace, kissing him, feeling his body heat close to his – even looking at him openly with a goofy grin on his face was something he could never get tired of. They had put their beds next to each other so they could fit in them more comfortably and Alec had never slept better than curled around Jace in his life. They had soon found out that this was their favorite sleeping position. While Jace was the dominant part in their sexual relationship, Jace loved being cuddled and feeling cared for – and Alec loved providing it. He knew Jace would move heaven and earth and even hell for him the same way he would and that was all he needed to know. Jace was his and he was Jace’s. He knew Jace kept still the angel wings and Magnus’ postcards, but to his own surprise, he didn’t feel threatened by it. It seemed he had made his peace with the warlock. He remembered the rage he had once felt at his actions, but now he didn’t anymore. Magnus had been important for Jace, he still was in a way, and it was ok for him.

Jace loved the easiness between him and Alec. Alec had been right, it was _them_ , there was no need to hide or fake, he could just be who he was. He had never thought to be the first again to say “I love you”, but he had and he would never forget the loving expression and the breath-taking smile on Alec’s face, when he had heard his words and had said it right back to him. He would never forget how it felt to hear these words, words he had doubted to be worthy of for the major part of his life. He would also never forget the feeling of truly believing them, when Alec had said them to him over and over again. He would never get tired of hearing them, no matter if it were the loud spoken “I love you” when they parted for a mission, the whispered “I love you” when they went to sleep, the moaned “I love you” when they had sex or the silent “I love you” when Alec wrapped his arms around him, kissed him in front of everybody, traced his scars with gentle fingers, sucked marks over them to undo them. Maybe the silent ones were the most important ones.

The everyday life in the Academy was hard on the two boys, the demands rising with every week they got closer to their final exams. With their final degree, a lot of doors would open for them, especially for Alec, but they had already agreed how they wanted to proceed. Alec had decided against an official Clave carrier, at least for now. He would do everything in his power to support Lydia in her goal to run the London Institute, but for himself he wanted something different. He wanted to work with the Clave and Downworlders alike to establish the childcare system he dreamed about. Jace was determined to find more possibilities to heal Shadowhunters, also without the help of Warlocks or Silent Brothers, as they were often not around when needed the most. Runes could do only so much, so there had to be new ways of working. To broaden their horizons they decided to travel, at least one year, all over the globe. Their first stop would be the Institute in Buenos Aires – if they succeeded in their education, that was. But not succeeding stood out of the question, so they trained and studied harder than ever.

The first part of their exams was a theoretical test in demon languages, Shadow history, rune history and things like that. The second was a practical test, a duo mission for both of them, as they either succeeded as a team or failed. The first part was not easy, but they passed it with extraordinary marks. The practical test was fighting a Ravenor Demon, but if the boys were honest it was more fun than a real test. The closer their relationship had gotten, the easier they had fought together. Fighting was just the thing Jace was born to do it seemed, he always knew where the enemy was and it seemed he could easily anticipate every move of the demon. With Alec who guarded his back and balanced his slight recklessness, there was not much the two couldn’t kill. Considering this, it was even more astonishing and amazing to Alec that Jace wanted to do something different with his life – that he wanted to heal rather than kill. Or better, heal and kill, as both had to admit that they loved the adrenaline surging through their bodies while hunting a demon. So it was to no ones surprise when the two boys excelled in their practical test and made it top of their class.

The ceremony was held in the Academy, as a last final act. All four pairs had made it. All families were invited so that they could witness their children’s success. For Alec his mother Maryse, his father, Izzy, and Max had come. Jace had invited Lily, her girlfriend Lara and two other friends of their group. At first Jace had thought it would be awkward to be the only one to have no real family cheering for him, until he had realized that this was not true. He had his real family with him. The most important one was sitting directly next to him, and the others were beaming at him from the guest ranks. He was just a tiny bit sad when he thought of Magnus, he would have loved to have him here, when he had first went to the Academy he had always pictured him on one of those chairs.

The ceremony itself was not a real big deal, the Headmistress gave a speech about the importance of the Clave in general and the Academy in particular and then handed the certificates over. Jace had the feeling that the nod and smile for him and Alec were especially curt and cold, he suspected the Headmistress had never forgiven Alec for blackmailing her into letting him attend the funeral. The best part of the ceremony was, when it was finally over and the party began. Alec’s father excused himself rather soon, pretending to have another important thing going on, but neither Alec nor Jace minded. But he had been polite, Jace had to give him that. He had greeted him with “Mr. Herondale” and Jace had to bit back his snarky remark really forcefully – but replying “You once fucked my face, I think we can skip the Mister and go to the first name directly” didn’t seem like an appropriate response, so he just smiled a huge fake smile and replied with “Mr. Lightwood.”

***

“Can you believe we are really done with this?” Jace lay curled into Alec’s arms, a content smile on his face. The party had been fun, Izzy and Max had gotten along very well with Lily and Lara and they all had agreed on meeting in the summer break, they just had to figure out the time and a place. Alec stroked Jace’s hair lightly, peppering his neck with soft kisses.

“Unbelievable, right? We’re actual Shadowhunters now.”

“Grown-ups.” Jace added with a slight smirk.

Alec just snorted. “You’re more like Peter Pan.”

“Peter who?”

Alec just rolled his eyes. “Did your mundane friends never teach you anything valuable?” Jace looked scandalized at that accusation.

“I didn’t hear you complain when I showed you what a mundane bachelor party was about. Or do you want to start complaining now?”

“Valid point, they taught you one good thing.” Alec agreed with a huge grin, before he started to bite down on Jace’s neck and turned him around. “Really valid point.”

***

Living at the Institute at Buenos Aires was an amazing experience for both of them. The best thing actually was that they didn’t have to live at the Institute itself, but had rented an apartment nearby. Jace had been able to sell Herondale Manor for a real decent price to an anonymous buyer. Alec had his suspicions who that anonymous buyer was, but he kept silent. Something told him that Jace would not be happy about it, he knew how Jace valued his independence and hated being a “charity case.”

Especially Jace learned a lot during their time there. They found a local warlock who was willing to share his knowledge, teaching Jace a lot about herbs, plants and brewing potions, especially about the old mundane ways, where no actual magic happened but close. It was there when Jace realized that there was a way of inducing the herbs beforehand with magic, so that a Shadowhunter could store them and brew a potion afterwards with them. They were not as strong as the ones from warlocks, but he was determined to better them by experimenting more with different ingredients and different ways of pouring magic into the components. There were some which were really unstable and lost the magic quite fast, others stored them longer – he just had to find a solid magic base and then add the other things needed for specific healing potions, lotions or ointments.

Their next stop would be Lisbon.

***

Magnus was sipping his cocktail, a frown on his face. He had no idea why Caterina and Ragnor had insisted on meeting him here, in this small club in the Portuguese capital of all places, neither of them even liked partying. But he had agreed in the end, even though clubbing was not on his most desired-things-list currently either. And now they didn’t even have the decency to show up. Damn his friends. He was just about to leave the place, when he saw him. His eyes locked helplessly on him, he couldn’t do anything but stare.

Jace wore simple black jeans with biker boots and a tight white shirt, his hair had grown a bit longer since he last had seen him and was falling in his eyes. With a mindless gesture he brushed it out of his face, his body never skipping a beat while moving seductively to the music. He was dancing with Alec, of course. In contrast to Jace, Alec was not a natural dancer, he moved somehow awkward to the beat and it was clearly written all over his face that he was here just because of Jace. His _boyfriend._

Magnus sighed. He knew too well that had he not screwed up like he had, he could be in Alec’s place. Of course, he had heard about the famous Lightwood/Branwell wedding, or better to say the famous cancelation of the latter. He had been happy for Jace when the rumor spread that Alec Lightwood was now with _Jace Herondale_ , of all people. It had been what he had hoped for him, but he had not expected it to hurt so much. Seeing him at his father’s funeral had showed him how deep and how much he cared for the blond, but Ragnor had also been right. He had still been hiding, and now when he was done hiding, it was too late. Too fucking late he repeated to himself, while watching the two Shadowhunters dance together, the way Jace threw his head back and laughed at something Alec said, the intimate way Alec pulled Jace close to press a kiss on his lips, the sparkle in Alec’s eyes while watching Jace dance. Alec whispered something into Jace’s ear and kissed him slightly on his neck before he turned around and left the dancefloor. Jace followed him with his eyes for a while, but then continued to dance. There were only few people who could dance like Jace. It was not only his skill to circle his hips, to move to the beat as if they were one, it was also the fact that Jace could totally get lost in the music, as if he were in another place and time while dancing. Jace didn’t care if he was alone or not, he was not dancing for somebody, he was just dancing. Magnus was mesmerized, he couldn’t tear away his eyes from the blond. The intensity of his feelings hit him by surprise. Jace finally looked up. Their eyes met and Magnus saw Jace’s movements still. He was not longer dancing, he just stood there, watching him, other dancers bumping slightly into him. A tentative smile crossed his face before he pushed forward. Magnus stayed exactly where he was.

“Magnus.” Jace eyes shimmered nearly golden in the disco lights. “I, um, it’s good to see you.”

“Yes, it truly is. And what a coincidence. What are you doing here?” Magnus conjured two drinks for them, he definitely needed another and needed to do something with his hands. He couldn’t recall when he actually had ever be so nervous. _Nervous._

“Alec and I are staying at the Lisboan Institute for a while. We are traveling across the world to get to know different ways of working and so on. We’re here quite often, at least when I can convince Alec to tag along.”

Magnus closed his eyes briefly, realizing now why his friends had lured him here. He definitely would have to have a word with his friends. “Not much of a party queen, hu? So are you still into healing?”

“Alec?” Jace laughed. “He is trying. And yes, I’m into the healing thing. In South America, where we travelled first, I learned quite a few useful things. But how are you, Magnus?”

Jace mismatched eyes were fixed on Magnus’, a sincere expression in them and the warlock couldn’t help his eyes flashing briefly their true color. His magic had always behaved strangely around the blond. Jace smiled genuinely at him and leaned a bit closer, he had always loved Magnus’ real eyes. They stood close now, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable, it just felt right. To his own surprise it was easy to talk to Jace after all that time, therefore he answered the genuine question honestly, at least partially. That he was okay, but he could be better. At that, Jace opened his mouth to close it again, biting his lip, clearly tempted to say something but refrained from doing so in the end.

***

Alec came back with two drinks in his hands, a beer for Jace and a coke for himself, he still was not much into the taste of alcohol. Normally it was easy to spot Jace, he just had to go for the circle on the dancefloor and he would find his boyfriend right in the middle of it, this time he scanned the place twice without any luck. He frowned, but then he saw him. He stood at the bar in the far end of the room, talking animatedly to Magnus. Alec hadn’t thought about the warlock in a while, but there he was, standing close – really close to his boyfriend. Alec was not the jealous type, being with someone who got the looks and the flirting genes of Jace would be otherwise a constant tournament, but now he couldn’t help the feeling settling into his stomach. It was not only the way they stood side by side, it was also the way Jace looked at Magnus, the way he smiled and laughed. He had always suspected that Jace had some feelings left, but to see it so openly displayed, made him swallow. Hard. He straightened his shoulders and started to make his way through the dancers. Alec knew that it was kind of childish, but he couldn’t help it. When he arrived at the two of them, he put one arm around Jace’s waist and pulled him close in a completely possessive gesture, while simultaneously glaring at Magnus. But the way Jace leaned immediately in his embrace soothed the bad feeling in his belly and he forced himself to relax.

Nevertheless, it seemed the massage had gotten through, Magnus took a step back instantly. But before Magnus could find an excuse to retreat completely, Alec surprised the three of them.

“Magnus, nice to see you. What are you doing here?”

The two men stared for a moment at each other, as if to pass along a secret massage. Alec had still his arm around Jace in a very claiming way. But the warlock took the question the way it was meant, an invitation to stay. They started to talk about this and that, after a while Alec left the conversation to Jace and Magnus, concentrating more on the non-verbal signs the two gave. It was a hard decision, but Alec had never shied away from tough ones. But he had made a secret vow to himself when he had started his relationship with Jace, and he was intend to keep it. So he leaned closer to Jace, whispering something into his ear so that only the blond could hear it.

“Jace, I’m tired, I’m heading home.”

Jace hesitated only for a split second. “Ok, I’ll come with you.”

“No, no worries. You can stay. I have a mission tomorrow morning, you don’t. Stay, have fun.”

“Alec, don’t… I come with you.”

“No, really Jace, I mean it. I know you want to stay. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

Jace searched his boyfriend’s face for any sign of dishonesty, but he found none. Alec’s hazel eyes were unguarded and looked at him directly. Jace bit his lips. He wanted to stay, he wanted to spend more time with Magnus, but the last thing he wanted was to make Alec sad or jealous. He of course had not been oblivious to Alec’s display of possessiveness, but he seemed genuine now.

“Are you sure? You know I love you, right?”

“I know and I’m sure. Have fun.” He pressed a long kiss to Jace’s lips, before he smiled at Magnus, waving him goodbye and turned around to go, hoping he was not doing a tremendous mistake. But he had always trusted Jace, he would not stop doing that now. It was clear that the two had still feelings between them and avoiding them wouldn’t make them go way, just burry them. And buried feelings just were like annoying vampires, they tend to appear at the surface again. So he decided to trust Jace enough to leave now, to trust their love enough to go.

Jace watched his lover leave, before he turned to Magnus again, smiling somewhat shyly at him. “Wanna dance?”

Magnus winked at him. “Of course angel.” Jace froze shortly at the use of his old nickname, but he left it uncommented, a fact for which Magnus was grateful for, he really hadn’t meant to use it again. Once dancing, it was like in the old days, their bodies were moving together as if there had never been a breakup or a fallout. Magnus loved to get lost in the music with Jace, he loved the feeling of Jace’s body against his. After what seemed forever, they needed a pause. Jace looked even more beautiful than before, his cheeks flushed and a slight film of sweat covering his forehead, his eyes bright and clear. They settled for a drink at a bar, and suddenly the mood switched. Whereas before Jace had been careless, enjoying the moment without thinking much, a certain distance and reclusiveness was noticeable now. He gripped the bottle tightly, chewing at his inner cheek before his eyes settled on Magnus again, this time with a hard expression in his eyes.

“Why, Magnus?”

The warlock sighed, of course he knew what the blond was talking about, there was no need to pretend.

“This is not the right time or place, Jace. We’re both a bit drunk and tired. And I think you should talk to your Alexander first. Sleep over it, and if you still want to talk about it, I’m all yours.” _In every meaning of this word._

“And you will answer my questions?”

“Yes.”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, Jace. All of them, with all honesty. I promise you that.”

Jace was drawn between his need to get answers now and the feeling that Magnus was right, finally settling on the latter one. With a snap Magnus produced a piece of paper, where he wrote in his expressive handwriting his phone number, even though Jace still new it by heart. It was an awkward goodbye, but at the end they settled for a brief hug, Jace using the chance to inhale quickly Magnus’ prominent scent. Santal. He always had loved it.

Jace had refused Magnus’ offer to create a portal, he wanted to use the walk to clear his head. He had been overwhelmed to see Magnus in a place where he had not expected him at all. He knew his feelings had never gone away completely, but he was so unbelievable happy with Alec, he had never dwelled on them. Yet, seeing him, talking to him, dancing with him made it a lot harder to ignore what had been there for so long. But he was sure that he would never jeopardize his relationship with Alec. He loved him too much to hurt him. Besides, could he really trust Magnus? Right now, he didn’t know the answer, but he hoped to get it soon. On the other hand, was it not better to just forget about the warlock?

The stroll was too short to sort his confused feelings, but when he stepped in the motel room, finding Alec at sleep in their bed, he felt like coming home. Alec had always felt like home. He would never hurt him or leave him. He just had to forget about Magnus, how hard could that be? He ignored the tiny voice, which supplied _very hard_ in a totally unhelpful way and slipped under the blanket, pleased when he found Alec wrapping his arms around him without waking up.

***

When he woke up, it was already late morning and Alec gone. He had a mission at the Lisboan Institute and would come home later. Jace had scheduled a meeting with a local female warlock, who was also a healer and worked a lot with mundanes, not unlike Caterina. He sighed, he missed waking up next to Alec, especially today. But he did his best to take his mind off the thoughts of Magnus and kept himself busy, until his meeting was due.

The meeting went well, she provided Jace with helpful insights he hoped he could use for his own project. It had taken him much longer than originally planned and it was already evening when he went back home to their apartment. He had quickly texted Alec to ask which take out he wanted and they had settled for Thai food. Alec had already changed into sweat pants and was curled up on their couch, a notebook on his lap, which he closed when Jace entered.

Jace couldn’t help it, he was kind of nervous. He handed Alec the food and fidgeted with the cutlery, until he felt Alec’s hand on his, pressing slightly.

“What’s wrong, Jace?”

“Nothing.”

Alec looked thoroughly at him, his eyes glued on the blond’s, rising an eyebrow.

“How’s Magnus?”

Jace bit his lips. He didn’t want to speak about that now. “Fine I guess. I don’t know.”

“So what happened?”

“Nothing. We danced, we had fun. I went home.”

Alec took a few bites, chewing thoughtfully and swallowed.

“And what now?”

Jace hadn’t touched his food yet, the nervous ball in his stomach too huge. He should have never stayed behind with Magnus, he had a really bad feeling right now about it.

“Nothing. There is no now. He gave me his number but I won’t contact him. There is nothing to worry about, Alec. Please.”

“But you want to. Contact him.” Alec added, when Jace said nothing.

Jace’s hand clasped around the fork. Yes, he wanted to. He wanted answers. He wanted… he was not sure what exactly he wanted. But he was scared, he would ruin everything. Again. They had agreed to be honest with each other, but he was sure if he admitted to his feelings now, he would ruin it. He felt slight panic rise inside him.

“Alec, no, please. I love you.” He knew he sounded desperate.

Alec put away the food container and pulled Jace closer. “I know, darling, I know. I love you too, so much.” He murmured in Jace’s hair. Some conversations were better held close to each other, he figured. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, kissing him lightly before he went on.

“It’s okay to want to meet him. It’s even okay to want more. But you need to be honest with me.”

Jace swallowed hard. Alec’s physical closeness helped him, the reassurance was exactly what he needed. He briefly closed his eyes, gathering all courage he had before he carried on.

“I think I want to meet him again. I want to know why he left me. And… there might be more.”

Alec tensed slightly at this confession, but he didn’t let go of Jace or retreat.

“I did a bit research. It’s more common than one might think. It’s… okay to like more than one person.”

At that Jace couldn’t help but laugh astonished. “That’s why I love you so much Alec Lightwood. Others would freak out and you, you do research.”

“Don’t make fun of me.”

“I truly don’t. You’re amazing, you know that, right?” Jace kissed Alec deeply.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy with you, Alec.”

“I know. But if there is the slightest chance that you will be even happier with Magnus in your life, I’m willing to try. Really try. I promised you the world, Jace, and I’m ready to give it to you. Because you deserve it.”

“But what about you, Alec?”

“I trust you Jace. I know you love me. I know this will not change. I don’t know, it was always us and we won’t lose this. We just have to be honest with each other. You have to be honest with Magnus. No games. We will figure this out, slowly. I really want you to be happy.”

“I will always love you, Alec. Always. Nothing can change that, you are right.”

It was strange to text Magnus while laying in Alec’s arms, but somehow, it felt right. Magnus texted back immediately, proposing a brunch date the next morning – all three of them. Jace smiled. He was not sure what Magnus wanted and what the future would held for him, but as long as Alec was by his side it would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Magnus is back 😊 I hope it was not too... sappy?  
> I plan on writing 2 more chapters, but with everything going on in RL currently I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow.


	19. Chapter 19

They met in a small café, all three slightly nervous. Jace had rolled his eyes when he had seen the huge mark Alec had left on his throat, but he refrained from saying anything. He knew why Alec had done it – not that it was the first time, he just loved the feeling of being marked at this sensitive spot and Alec just liked to claim him too much, but he also knew that it had been quite deliberate this time. But who could blame him?

They found a table in the corner of the café, where they were a bit secluded from the rest. They ordered a typical Portuguese breakfast, tosta mista – toast with ham and cheese and something sweet, pastéis de nata, to what especially Alec had taken a liking. Alec offered to fetch the coffee at the bar. Jace and Magnus said next to each other, both feeling a bit awkward, their conversation rather forced and both were glad when Alec came back with three galãos, the Portuguese equivalent to cappuccino. He balanced the three cups, smiling distractedly at Jace and Magnus when he missed the tiny step to their table, spilling the hot beverage all over himself.

“Fuck” Alec muttered, when he saw the mess he had made. Jace couldn’t stifle the laugh bobbling in his stomach.

“And I thought all Shadowhunters had angelic grace.”

“Oh shut up, Jace.” Alec glared pointedly at him, but a smile tugged on his lips. Magnus had stood up to save Alec, with a swirl of his hand he cleaned up the spilled coffee, refilled their cups and replaced Alec’s shirt.

“Thank you Magnus, I could get used to that service.” Alec said with a small laugh, taking the seat opposite Jace and Magnus. The ice was broken after that and they chatted amicably, an easiness settling in between them, which neither of them had anticipated. After a while, Alec asked Jace to fetch them new drinks. Jace just raised a curious eyebrow, but stood up and left the two others alone.

“I know what is coming now.” Magnus said, before Alec could voice a single word. “If I hurt him again you’ll come for me, rip out my fingernails and rip my throat apart with your bare teeth.”

At that, Alec couldn’t help but burst out into a laughter. “That’s oddly specific. I actually thought more of flaying you alive, but we can settle for the finger nails and the throat ripping.”

Magnus smiled genuinely at Alec. “You really don’t have to worry. I won’t make the same mistake again. Besides, I don’t even know what he wants and feels for me.”

“But you know what you feel?”

“Yes. I love him.”

“Good. Took you long enough.” Alec glared at him, but there was no real heat behind it. He _was_ glad that Magnus was ready to admit his feelings, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he was a bit insecure about the whole thing, his leg flipped up and down restlessly. Magnus smiled reassuringly at him.

“You don’t need to worry. I won’t take him away from you.”

“I know, this is nothing you could do. I know he loves me. But it’s all new for me. Have you done this before?”

“Being in a polyamorous relationship you mean? Yes. And it all went well, I mean maybe it is a bit more work than a monogamous one, but all relationships take effort. But why are you doing this? If you did not agree, he would not go for it.”

“I want him to be happy” Alec said simply. “And I don’t own him. He _is_ mine, but this doesn’t mean that he can’t be yours too, if he wants that. And you, of course. It’s not a decision I can make for him.”

“That’s really mature. Most Shadowhunters are a bit… backwards when it comes to love.”

“I did some research.” Alec admitted and Magnus couldn’t help but think how adorable Alexander was. Before he could reply, Jace appeared back with their drinks.

“All threats spoken and all claims staked or shall I come back in five?” Jace bumped lightly into a blushing Alec.

“I think we’re good, we had a real civilized conversation, don’t worry.” Magnus said with a slight sparkle in his eyes.

Shortly after, Alec excused himself and left the others alone, but not before he kissed Jace thoroughly, whispering an “I’m sorry” in his ear. Jace just laughed. “There is nothing to be sorry for. I love possessive you. Are you really okay with that?” He nodded towards Magnus.

“Yes. Figure out what you want from him Jace, I am really ok with it.” This time Jace pulled him into a heated kiss before Alec left the Café.

“Do you want to talk here or rather somewhere else?” Magnus looked at Jace, who shrugged.

“I guess a bit more private would be nice.”

Magnus portaled them to his hotel suite, where Jace strolled over to the huge window, to look over the city. His palms were slightly sweaty and he wiped them clean on his jeans. He wanted answers, he needed answers, but there was something he needed more. He turned around, stepped up to a surprised looking Magnus, pulled him close and pressed his lips against the warlock’s. Magnus responded immediately, parting his lips, granting Jace’s demanding tongue excess. When kissing Alec was like coming home, kissing Magnus was like discovering your home had a top floor out of a sudden. It felt familiar, yet knew and exciting. Jace felt Magnus’ hand in his hair, tugging at it lightly, making him moan into the kiss. He felt his body relax into their action, as if it had a memory of its own. When his lungs screamed for oxygen, he pulled away to look up at Magnus with slightly glazed over eyes.

“That was unexpected.” Magnus murmured. When he saw the slight doubt flashing over Jace’s face, he hastily added “but more than welcome. But Jace, we need to talk.” The blond nodded. He knew that.

“I needed that more.”

“How can you still trust me like that?” Magnus inquired, while gently pushing Jace towards the big sofa. They settled down next to each other, their knees touching. Jace shrugged again.

“I don’t know. I just do. But you promised me answers.”

“And you get them. What do you want to know?”

Jace looked down, there was one thing he needed to know the most, the thing he dreaded the answer to the most. His hand clenched shortly into a fist, before he greeted his teeth.

“You said that I’m not capable of love. That no one loved me so I can’t love. Do you still believe that?” His voice was low and a bit insecure.

Magnus closed his eyes briefly, before he locked eyes with Jace. “I think that is the worst thing I’ve ever said to anyone, Jace, and I have no idea how to make up for it. If I could take it back, I would. I know that it isn’t true, never was. You are capable of love, in fact, you have such a great heart Jace. When I said that to you, _I_ was not capable of loving, I was afraid of real love, of being rejected. And also the other thing is not true. Alec loves you. Your friends from the Academy love you. _I_ love you.”

“You do?” Jace voice was raspy and barely a whisper. He took in a shaky breath, waiting for the responds.

“Yes, Jace, I love you. It took me really long to realize it, to stand to it. But I love you.”

A tentative smile appeared on the blond’s face. “You really hurt me.”

“I know. And I am so sorry.”

Jace nodded. It meant a lot to him that Magnus made no excuses, but acknowledged the pain he had gone through. _And he loved him._

“Why were you afraid of me rejecting you?”

Magnus sighed, but started to reveal his secrets, starting with the most painful, the suicide of his mother, followed by the period he had lived with the King of Hell, his father, his own suicidal thoughts which he had shaken off thanks to Camille, his deeply twisted and toxic relationship with said Camille, his need to close off for a while from the world to heal, but which nearly had destroyed him as he had followed this path for too long.

“But then you fell into my life and teared down all my walls, and that frightened me. So I pushed you away.”

“But you won’t do that anymore?”

“No, Jace, if you let me, I will stay.”

“Good. Because I never stopped loving you.”

He leaned in to capture Magnus lips with his own, nipping gently on Magnus lower lip, tasting him, exploring him. He smiled into the kiss when he felt Magnus’ magic settling around them, wrapping them in like a cozy blanket.

***

When Jace returned to his own apartment, Alec looked once at him.

“So you two figured it out.”

Jace blushed slightly, it really was strange to come back from Magnus straight to Alec, but he hoped it would feel more normal one day – and he really hoped that Alec had been honest and he really was okay with it.

Alec saw the flash of insecurity in his boyfriend’s eyes. “It’s okay, Jace. I suspected so much.” He bit his lip and drew in a sharp breath before he continued. “Fuck, it is weird, but I’ll deal with that.” But Jace shook his head firmly.

“We’ll deal with that. Together. Like with everything else. It is new for all of us. And I don’t know if it matters or you want to know at all, but we just kissed.”

“I think I don’t want to know more. I just… I just need a bit time to adjust, that’s all. And I think you will have to live a bit with possessive me.”

“Oh I think I can deal with that.” Jace smirked at this lover, before he leaned against him. “I love you.”

***

It took them a while, but they found a solution, which suited all three of them. Jace and Magnus found the easiness again they had shared from the beginning, they continued more or less where they had left off, but both made not the mistakes from their first attempt. They talked also about their insecurities and flaws, but not forgetting to enjoy the moment either. Jace was happy to have someone to party again and Magnus was just happy to have Jace back. He loved to discover that despite Jace being with Alec, he still responded to him the same way he had. He melted into his touches, eager to get everything Magnus offered. Jace loved the slightly dominant way Magnus loved him, especially in bed. With Alec, he had a different dynamic, but he just couldn’t get enough from the way Magnus’ magic hold him often in place while they were making love. Jace and Magnus spent a lot time at Magnus’ New Yorker loft, while the Lisboan apartment was Jace and Alec’s refuge. The hotel apartment in Lisbon which Magnus still had was somewhat neutral ground, as they also kept meeting as a group. At the beginning, this had been slightly awkward, but after a while it had become familiar.

Magnus and Alec bonded especially around the childcare system. When Magnus learned about his attempts, he immediately offered his help. He had a huge Downworlder network, and they met with a lot people to get their plan in motion. Whereas most Downworlders didn’t trust the Clave, they trusted Magnus and thus started to trust Alec. In the Shadowhunter community, Alec had also required some well-established supporters and he had been able to gather enough money for his attempts to truly work. In many Institutes, he had been able to name one representative, who would take tips from Downworlders and mundanes with the sight, who spotted new baby warlocks or pregnant women with warlocks. The Shadowhunters reported then to Alec and a handful trusted others, who then contacted the mothers and offered guidance and help. In addition they had contacts to mundane care systems, and every time a pregnant girl or woman claimed to not know how she had gotten pregnant, they sent someone to enquire if maybe a demon had been involved. They hoped to reduce the number of abandoned or maltreated baby warlocks like that. What even proofed more complicated, was the establishment of a childcare for Shadowhunters, as most were not willing to admit that there was abuse in Shadowhunter families, but Alec was determined to convince the Clave of the advantages and he wouldn’t give up on it.

Sometimes Jace felt the whole situation was a bit tiring. He was truly happy, he had what he had always wanted, even more, he had two loving boyfriends. But he had never really time for himself. When he was with Magnus one day, he felt kind of compelled to spend the next with Alec. It was amazing, not that he really minded, but sometimes he wished his lovers would also take a liking to each other. And he saw the looks the two exchanged, especially when they thought no one else was looking. He had the feeling that slowly they developed something more than the friendship they shared now, but both were reluctant to confess that, maybe out of fear to unbalance their relationship. Jace wandered if he should point it out and speed things up, but he decided against it, he figured this should be something the two of them should handle on their own, he just wished they would do so soon.

***

Like every other couple, they had their fights, too. Normally, they solved them quickly, laughing about them afterwards, as they were never huge fights. Sometimes Jace and Magnus fought about Jace leaving his stuff laying around in the loft, Alec and Jace fought about hunting strategy or whose turn it was to put the trash out – normal things. In most cases, they solved their disagreements soon and Jace had no problem with accepting that it was normal in a relationship to have small issues. But sometimes, he felt an uneasiness settling in his stomach, a slight panic rising. Sometimes he just needed the reassurance to be loved unconditionally, which made him not back down and poke the other again and again. Alec as well as Magnus knew how to handle these situations in general, they knew that what helped Jace most was physical closeness in these cases. But sometimes, they were not aware that Jace was in a panic mode already.

So when Jace and Alec had an argument about some stupid thing or the other, Alec didn’t realize the state his boyfriend was in, being tired himself. In addition, he had to be at the Institute for a mission.

“Jace, can we talk about this later? I really need to go, I can’t be late for that damn mission and I have to get going.” Alec was glancing impatiently on his phone, his boyfriend in front of him, arms crossed over his chest.

“Fine.”

“Good.” Alec was relieved that Jace let it go and turned around without second thoughts, he really needed to hurry, there was a demon spotting and he and some other Shadowhunters had been assigned to the case. It shouldn’t take too long, but he hated to be unpunctual. In his haste to go, he didn’t see the signs of stress on Jace’s face.

When the door fell shut, Jace exhaled loudly. He _knew_ it was just one of their usual fights, but he didn’t _feel_ it. He swallowed down the sick feeling and went for a run, physical exhaustion always helped to drain him and keep his mind from spinning. When he came back he showered and tried to call Magnus, but he didn’t answer, which reminded Jace that the warlock had told him that he would be away for the day. He did the dishes and went for the punching back to ease his nervousness, but when he had showered for the second time, he couldn’t help the panic rising. Alec should be back by now. It was only a small mission and he should be home now. But he wasn’t. When he closed his eyes, he heard Adam again. Fucking Adam, that moron appeared always when he needed it the least. So he did the sensible thing and called Alec, but unfortunately without success. A couple of minutes later, he called again and send a few texts. And called again.

***

The mission had been a huge disaster. The spotting had indeed been a demon, but a different species with different skills. They had managed to eliminate it, but not before that thing had been able to cover Alec in sticky ichor and, what was worse, had made a window explode in front of him. The tiny sharp splinters had pierced through his gear from the sheer force of the explosion and he felt little splinters everywhere in his skin. This combined with the sticky ichor was a bloody mess. All he wanted was to soak in one of the bathtubs in the Institute to get rid of the ichor and then cope with the glass. When he was back in the locker room, just about to fetch his towel, he quickly checked his phone – and found several missed calls and texts from Jace. _Fuck_ he muttered, something must have happened. He quickly let his team lead now, activated his speed run and started to run. He really hoped nothing had happened to Magnus, but the number of texts and calls showed him that something important had gone on.

He was truly exhausted when he arrived at their apartment. His sweat had mixed with the ichor and together it didn’t just hurt, it started to itch unbearably. He pushed through the door to find a distressed Jace sitting on the couch, whose knees were bumping up and down restlessly.

“What happened Jace? Is everything ok? Is Magnus ok? You worried me.”

Jace stood up but just looked at him, biting his lips. Now with Alec being back, he was lost for words. He saw the state Alec was in, the ichor, the blood, the exhausted eyes. “Um, I… Nothing. Everything is fine.”

At that, Alec closed his eyes in dismay. He was really a patient person, but enough was enough. “You freaked out, didn’t you?”

“Hm, yes. I’m sorry.”

Alec shook his head, he sounded desperate and more tired than Jace had ever heard him. “I really don’t know Jace, how often I have to tell you or show you how much I love you and that nothing can change that. I really don’t know what else I could do that you finally believe me. And sometimes, I’m just tired. No matter what I do, it is never enough anyway.”

With that, he left Jace standing in the room, heading for the shower. He stripped naked, his dirty gear throwing directly into the bin, it was ruined anyway. He slipped under the hot steam after fetching a bathing sponge, he needed something to get rid of the ichor, and unlike in the Institute they just had a shower and no tub. The ichor was awfully sticky and clung to his skin, he really should have soaked in water before trying to clean it off, but he didn’t have it in him to go back to the Institute. So he just gritted his teeth and scrubbed harder, swearing under his breath as the tiny splinters really hurt when rubbed in. Frustrated, he threw the sponge in the corner of the shower, when he heard the door to the bathroom open.

A short breeze of cold air indicated that the door to the shower opened, too, but he didn’t turn around. He leaned his head against the cold tiles and closed his eyes.

“Let me, please.” Jace stepped in the shower and bent down to pick up the sponge, before he gently continued to scrub the ichor of Alec’s back. The raven boy said nothing, but let him proceed.

“There are splinters in your wounds.”

“You don’t say”, Alec replied through gritted teeth.

Jace knew he should not mention it, but he had never been good at shutting up.

“A bathing tub would be quite useful right now.”

A desperate laugh escaped Alec’s mouth. “Well, there is the thing, I wanted to use the bathtub in the Institute when I got tons of massages from the mess of my boyfriend, so I thought something bad happened and I hurried home without bathing.” As he couldn’t glare at Jace, he glared at the wall instead.

“Uh, sounds like a real mess your boyfriend. But I suppose he is your mess and you love him.”

The smile appeared on Alec’s face nearly unwillingly. “Fuck yes, he is mine. And I do love him.”

He turned around to face his lover.

“I’m sorry, Alec. It’s not that I don’t trust you or I don’t believe you, with all you did for me and with all you were willing to try because of me, I would be stupid to not know that you love me. But sometimes it just gets the better of me. I start hearing his fucking voice and then I start to panic. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

Alec leaned in to press a loving kiss on Jace’s lips. Of course he knew whose voice Jace was referring to “I’m also sorry, I should have realized that you were not okay before I left. But you need to talk to me.”

“I know.”

“You’re not really a mess.”

Jace laughed dryly. “Sometimes. But now we have to get you cleaned up and the splinters out.”

Alec closed his eyes again, ignoring the hissing pain when the sponge rubbed over a splinter and enjoying the soothing sensation of Jace taking care of him. When the ichor was finally gone, Jace insisted on patting him dry with a soft towel. He gestured Alec to the bed and got tweezers to pick out the glass, together with his newest development, an ointment, which was supposed to close wounds. The advantage to the Iratze rune, which also closed wounds, was, that you could apply it specifically to one scratch, whereas the rune just closed every wound in the surrounding, no matter if it was already clean or not. In cases of several injuries like Alec’s, the ointment had a clear advantage.

He settled down beside Alec and started to clean the wounds, which was a tiring procedure, as the splinters were tiny and there were many. But as soon as he had cleaned some, he applied the lotion – and the wounds closed, without leaving marks behind. Jace looked satisfied at the healed area, brushing slightly over the faintly red skin with his finger.

“That’s amazing, Jace”, Alec beamed at him.

Jace picked up the tweezers again. “Do you know what would also be amazing? To have a warlock here who could extract all splinters at once. If we just knew a warlock.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Fine. You can call him. But let me get a pair of boxers first, at least.” Alec was still self-conscious in front of others except Jace. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. He found the scars on his chest appalling and assumed others would think the same. He quickly got dressed before he settled down on the bed again, just in time for Magnus who appeared through a portal.

“Alexander, are you all right? What happened?” With a quick step he was beside Alec and registered the situation. “May I?” he asked, his magic already sparkling around his fingertips. There was something around these two Shadowhunters, which made his magic always ready. Alec nodded and he felt a cool wave hit him. It embraced him shortly before he felt a slight pull when the magic retreated again.

“Did it work?”

“Let me see.” Magnus knelt beside him, tracing the wounds slightly with his finger. “It seems so.” But he didn’t stop, he carried on, also caressing Alec’s scars lightly. The Shadowhunter blushed and pushed his hand away.

“Don’t. Their ugly.”

“No, they are not. They are just… you.”

Their eyes locked for a moment. Alec couldn’t say why, but this reassured him way more than if Magnus had said they were pretty or something like that. Because they weren’t. But this sounded about right.

“Thank you, Magnus.” Alec couldn’t suppress a yawn, the whole day had been exhausting.

“Don’t mention it. Why didn’t you let yourself get treated in the Institute?” Alec just snorted.

“Long story. Involving some idiot over there.” He looked pointedly at Jace.

“Git.”

“I love it when you talk British to me” Alec laughed at Jace, at which the blond just huffed.

“All done” Jace announced when all wounds had been cared for and healed, and after thinking a moment, he added “twat.”

Alec threw a pillow at him, but he was barely able to hold his eyes open anymore. Magnus took that as his signal to announce his leaving, but Alec just shook his head.

“Stay if you like Magnus.” The warlock didn’t need to be told twice. He enlarged the bed slightly so that all three of them fitted in easily. As soon as Alec’s head hit the pillow, he was deep at sleep. Jace smiled at his sleeping boyfriend and at his wake boyfriend, who had curled up next to Alec. This was promising. Really promising.

***

The next time the three of them met up at Magnus’s hotel apartment, Magnus had prepared dinner. Jace had hoped that after their sleepover, things would move forward between Alec and Magnus, but it hadn’t and therefore he had made a plan. He had no idea if it was a good one, but he indeed had never been the best in keeping his feet still.

The dinner went as usual, they were bickering, laughing and had a great time. The small touches here and there between Magnus and Alec and the hidden looks went not unnoticed by Jace, therefore he decided to move on with his plan.

When they were done with eating, Jace and Alec strolled over to the couch and Magnus was mixing drinks for himself and Jace. With a small smirk Jace stood up and bestrode Alec’s lap, pushing him in the back of the sofa. He grinded down seductively before he started to kiss Alec forcefully.

“Jace” Alec hissed, trying to push him back. “What are you doing? We are in Magnus’ apartment.”

“Exactly” Jace murmured against his lips, before he kissed him again, ignoring the half-hearted push.

Magnus was done mixing the drinks and about to approach the two, when he paused in his actions and just stared. He had to admit his two Shadowhunters looked undeniably hot together. _His_ Shadowhunters, even though he knew too well that this was only partially true. But he had developed feelings for Alexander for a while now and looking at this show – he was sure Jace was doing this on purpose – was just too tempting. So when Jace held an inviting arm out, he didn’t hesitate for a split second. He put the drinks on the sidebar, rushed forward to yank Jace’s head back to kiss him thoroughly, but watching Alec at the same time. The raven boy was flushed, his cheeks slightly red and his lips already kiss swollen. When Magnus let go of Jace, both men stared at each other, before Magnus pulled Alec closer and they started to kiss, first tentatively then rather passionately. Finally, Jace thought with a smile. Once started, it seemed they couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Hey, you know I’m still here?” Jace started to complain laughingly.

“Shut up, Jace” came the unison responds, before they broke into a giggle. Jace rolled his eyes.

“Jealous, angel?” Magnus teased him with a mischievous gleam in the eyes.

“Not really, but maybe we can move this to the bedroom?”

“Excellent idea.”

Later Jace had no glue how they finally had gotten onto the bed, but somehow they had managed to switch rooms between kissing, undressing and touching. When they were finally all naked and on the bed, it just felt right. There was a slight shyness between Magnus and Alec, but it seemed they had secretly settled on concentrating on Jace for their first time, a fact about which Jace certainly wouldn’t complain. When they finally fell asleep, Jace was wrapped up in both his lovers’ arms, and he thought he had never been happier.

Jace was the first to wake up the next morning, still cuddled into Magnus and Alec’s embrace. Jace smiled contently, suppressing a small yawn, he didn’t want to wake the others just yet. When he looked up and saw the interlined hands of Magnus and Alec laying over his own waist, his smile even deepened. This was definitely more than promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the update - the end is coming closer, it will be one last chapter which will be a kind of epiolgue to wrap up everything. Nicely I hope 😂  
> So let me know what you think!


	20. Epilogue

A few months later

Alec looked at his two boyfriends, a slight frown on his face. Sometimes he asked himself what had gotten into him, to not only sign up for one, but two outgoing, slightly childish boyfriends. Currently they were both distinctly drunk, dancing in the middle of Magnus’ – their – loft, laughing at the sparkles Magnus conjured out of thin air and definitely plotting against him. He rolled his eyes, just in case.

Magnus observed his raven Shadowhunter fondly, while he danced with his other boyfriend. The first time he had realized how much he had fallen for Alec, had been when he had caught Alec glaring at him with his typical scowl, he normally saved for Jace when the blond was saying something stupid about himself, that he was not worthy of their love or anything alike. And considering that at that exact moment when he had caught Alec scowling at him, Magnus had said something similar about himself, he had come to the realization that first, he really loved Alec, and second, Alec indeed loved him back. So he had strolled over to the raven boy, kissed the scowl off his face and simply said:

“I love you, too, Alexander.” Alec’s face had been priceless, so he had felt the need to elaborate a bit. “I just caught you glaring at me with the same fierceness you normally reserve for Jace. You know, the look which says: say something that stupid about yourself again and I will smash your face into the next wall. So I figure it is your way of saying I love you. So. I love you too, Alexander.”

Alec had just laughed, before he had tried to keep up his frown. “I didn’t know I could glare that impressively.”

“You can. Ask Jace.”

“And what does this glare mean?” Alec had looked pointedly at the warlock.

“That means that you are thrilled to have such an amazing boyfriend and can’t wait to drag him into the bedroom.”

Alec couldn’t help but laugh again, taking Magnus’ face in his hands, before he had kissed him. “Not quite, but basically you are right. I love you.”

Magnus had smiled into their kiss. “By the way, the glaring is the best love confession ever.”

At that, Alec had figured that Magnus had also never seen Star Wars, a fact he was determined to hide from his little brother Max for eternity.

***

So when Magnus observed now his scowling boyfriend, he felt the obligation to change that look on his face. He pulled Jace closer, whispering something into his ear, an unholy spark in his eyes. The blond just laughed and nodded his agreement. The next moment, the air above them exploded in glitter and covered everything in it. But Alec had been prepared and had moved several steps back, avoiding the majority of the glitter, a superior smile on his lips. But Jace and Magnus would take none of that. Jace’s eyes flashed golden, the indication that he had activated his runes.

“You wouldn’t Jace…” Alec said threateningly.

“Oh, I certainly would, Alec.” Jace’s eyes twinkled mischievously, while he was scooping up a bunch of glitter. Alec stepped further back, just to bump into Magnus’, who wrapped his arms – and magic – around him to immobilize him, whereas Jace jumped on him, shoving all the glitter in his face and hair, laughing like a maniac. Sometimes, Alec really doubted what he had done to deserve these two, especially considering the unfairness of their skills. Magnus had his magic, Jace his rune activating without Stele and he – had nothing. At least, he had his wits he thought, using Magnus as stabilization while folding his legs around Jace’s waist, making them fall all over and rolling on the floor like puppies. By then, Alec was also laughing, he just couldn’t help it. Maybe he did know why he had chosen those two.

***

Later that week, the three of them were heading out for dinner to a Downworlder restaurant. Magnus and Jace looked fabulous like always, Alec felt a bit out of place with his usual black clothes, black jeans, black shirt, black boots. He had once pointed that out to Jace, that he and Magnus made the far more spectacular couple, but Jace had just brushed it off, rolling his eyes in a nearly Lightwood manner. “You’re a git, Alec. You look amazing.” But sometimes Alec couldn’t help the feeling that the others just outshined him.

The food was nice and they had ordered red wine to go with it, a Nero d’avola Alec had quite started to like. After a while, Alec had to use the bathroom and couldn’t help to overhear a conversation there.

“I really don’t know what someone like Magnus Bane wants from two Shadowhunters. You would think he would settle for someone more glamorous. But dull Shadowhunters? Come on!”

The other man just laughed. “Well to be fair, _I_ wouldn’t say no to that blond either. With that ass of his he can be twice a Shadowhunter, that wouldn’t stop me.”

The other responded with an agreeing noise, before they left the toilet.

Alec had frozen during their conversation; they had exactly voiced what he had always thought. He stepped up to the mirror, gazing unseeingly in it, washing his hands on autopilot.

When he returned to their table, he downed his nearly full wine glass in one go.

“Are you all right Alexander?”

He just shrugged. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You seem a bit off.”

“I said I am _fine_.” He poured himself another glass.

“We were thinking of heading to a club afterwards.” Jace cut in, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Yeah, do that, I am going home.”

Magnus and Jace frowned at each other. They had done that often, given the fact that Alec just was not into partying so much and the others liked it. But today seemed not a good day to split up.

“Then let’s go home together.” Jace smiled at Alec. “I’m tired a bit anyway.”

“No, go ahead. I said I am fine.” The raven boy sounded annoyed now. Jace kicked Magnus under the table and mouthed “He is freaking out” to him, but apparently not silently enough.

“I am not freaking out, fuck off, Jace.”

“Alec I have freaked out enough times in my life, I know when it’s happening. What’s wrong?”

But Alec just stood up and stormed towards the direction of the exit. “He is so freaking out.” Magnus agreed, while both men followed their boyfriend, totally at a loss what was happening.

Back at their loft, Alec was still on edge. He had no idea why the comments of these two men had so gotten under his skin, but it had happened. Sometimes he just felt so freaking inferior to his two lovers. They both had that glamour factor and easiness with other people he would never acquire, Magnus was one of the – or maybe the –most powerful warlock currently living and Jace had his unique rune ability, paired with his superior fighting skills. And then there was him, dull, overlooked with no special power whatsoever.

“I’m going to bed” he announced without glancing at the other two, heading towards their bedroom. He slipped out of his boots and jeans but didn’t bother to strip out of his t-shirt, he really was not in the mood to look at his scars.

Magnus and Jace exchanged a helpless look before following Alec; behaving like that was certainly not normal for him. Jace slipped under the cover with Alec, ignoring his little huff, and wrapped his arms around him, peppering soft kisses on his neck, while Magnus was laying down on the other side, facing Alec and brushing his hair out of his face.

“What’s wrong, Corvolino?” Magnus called Jace often his angel, but he rarely used this specific nickname for Alec, usually he referred to him as Alexander, a nickname in itself as no one else called him that. But desperate times required desperate measures. And it worked, despite himself a small smile tugged on Alec’s lips.

“Nothing.”

Jace groaned and stopped kissing but bit down. Hard. “Try that again.”

“Ouch, that hurt you idiot.”

“That was supposed to hurt, you git” Jace replied fondly. “But seriously, what’s wrong Alec. You need to talk to us.”

Alec sighed and rolled on his back, but after a slight pause, he started to talk. “You know, sometimes I just feel… superfluous. You are both so glamorous and you both are so powerful and I, I’m just… normal.”

Jace grabbed his chin to firmly force him to look at him. “You are far from normal, Alec. Where is this coming from out of a sudden?”

Alec blushed a little, it was kind of embarrassing to admit that he gave a shit about what two men had said on a restaurant toilet.

“I just have the feeling that I’m always a bit less. Less stunning, less powerful, less experienced..”

“Less fucked up” Magnus offered helpfully while Jace muttered “Oh yeah, my sexual experience is definitely something I am totally proud of.”

Alec’s blush deepened. “That’s not what I meant Jace, I’m sorry. And you two are not fucked up.” This time Magnus took his face in his hands and turned him around.

“Maybe a little, but there is no use in comparing, Alexander, we are all different. Besides, if you do want to compare. I think you achieved more when it comes to changing things for warlocks than any of us. Your project is amazing and really a success, but you know better how many women and thus babies you have already saved or helped.” Alec bit his lips, Magnus was kind of right.

“And I told you so long time ago and maybe not enough times since then: You are fucking beautiful, Alec.” Jace smiled at him, pressing a kiss at his lips.

“And I actually do hope that I am slightly more experienced in certain areas than you are, Alexander, given my slight older age. But I would be ready to teach you one thing or two”, Magnus added with a seductive smirk.

“Would you, though?” Alec couldn’t help but smirk back.

“Certainly, Corvolino, certainly” Magnus growled lowly, before he pulled Alec into a heated kiss.

***

They lay comfortably curled around each other, when Alec started to absentmindedly stroke Jace’s scars on his hip. He did it often, most of the times he was not even aware of it and most of the time Jace didn’t mind, but this time it was just somehow too much.

“Could you please stop that?” He huffed annoyed at Alec.

Alec’s movements stilled immediately. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even doing it on purpose.”

“Are we all a bit sensitive today?” Magnus chimed in. “I guess next time we choose the white wine.” Both Shadowhunters glared at him.

Alec bit his lips, but this time _he_ couldn’t shut up. “Was this also the Adam guy?”

Jace huffed again, still slightly annoyed. “No, it was not the Adam guy. The Adam guy did something worse. He promised me the world and I fell for it and then he just laughed at me, crushing me at that time. Way worse than a few scars.”

He didn’t know why he had never talked with Alec in detail about Adam or the other guy, but somehow now felt like the right time, despite his annoyance before.

“Did I ever tell you what I did to that Adam guy?” Magnus watched them carefully. Both Shadowhunters looked up, curiosity clearly written all over their faces.

“Nothing really bad, I just scared him a little. It was when you still lived with me in our London apartment” Magnus started to explain and Jace couldn’t help the smile at the word “our”, even though back in London they had never been together in a romantic way. “When you told me what he had done, that he had used you like that, I decided to pay him a visit and presented myself in my most charming way.”

“What did you do? How did you even find him?”

“First I went to the corner where we, uh, met Jace, but then I realized quite soon that this was not your usual spot, so I asked around and was pointed to the rundown building you had been lodging with your friends. A rather cute guy, dark curls and blue eyes, pointed me then in Adam’s direction.”

“Derek.” A short smile flew over Jace’s face, before Magnus continued.

“I know usually we glamour ourselves to not draw attention to us, but this time I figured a small glamour in the opposite direction would do some good. So I tracked him down and when he was just about to get it off with another boy, I approached him, shoved him into a wall and told him what I thought of him, what scum he was and if he ever did this again I would come for him and let him rot in hell for eternity.” Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec and Jace looked stunned at him, a terrible devil mask with red skin and black scars was looking back at them, the only recognizable thing was Magnus’ cat eyes.

Jace burst out laughing. “That’s hilarious.”

“It totally was, he nearly shit himself.” Magnus laughed now, too. “I think he never dared to mistreat anyone again, he was scared as fuck. I kind of wished to have punished him more, but, ah, the accords, they were so fragile at that time I didn’t dare to play with him properly.” A dangerous gleam was now in his eyes. “But no one hurts what’s mine.” Jace smiled at him, leaning over Alec, planting a kiss on his mouth. “Thank you, Magnus.”

“And who is Derek?”

Jace made a slightly annoyed sound in the back of his throat before he turned to Alec. “Derek was a really nice bloke, he lived with me on the streets for a while.”

“Just a nice dude, uh?” Alec looked enquiringly at Jace.

“If you must know, he was a bit more than just any nice guy. But he was never my boyfriend or anything, we were not in love. We just comforted us through a hard time, I guess.”

“Do you know what happened to him?” Magnus asked, an eyebrow risen curiously.

“In deed I do.” He looked at Alec and smiled. “You are not the only one who can do research. I tracked him down on facebook, he lives with his girlfriend in a small city called Folkestone and he seems really happy. And clean from what I can tell.”

“You know on facebook they only post the happy pictures.”

“You really need to ruin that for me, don’t you? He deserves to be happy and I really think he is. He looks healthier than I have ever seen him, his girlfriend seems to adore him and he has turned his back to the streets of London, which counts for something I guess. Normally that means you are happier, choosing domestic life over drugs. Not everyone is punished with at least one annoying boyfriend after escaping hell. But enough questions, now. You’re worse than the inquisition.” Jace stood up and glared at Alec.

“You haven’t answered my first question.”

“Which one?”

“Who gave you the scars?”

“You never asked that, you just asked if it was Adam and he wasn’t.”

“So I ask now. Who was it and what happened?”

Jace huffed, but after a short moment of hesitation, he threw himself on the bed again, taking Alec’s hand and pressing it down on his scars.

“This was a moment of sheer idiocy. Two other kids and I decided that it would be a totally great idea to test some new drugs a kid sold to us. In an instant, we were high as kites, the drug kicked in really fast and really hard. We wanted more and well, there was one way to get more money. Normally we, at least I, never went for punters when drugged, just too dangerous. But I just had discovered my new rune ability, I was reckless, well, and I was absolutely high. So we picked one up, or rather, he picked me up. And well, he liked it rough, way too rough, but he had me on my knees before I could even blink, and of course I couldn’t activate any rune in my state, so well. He pressed me down, but before he could actually rape me, one of the girls slammed a brick at his head. Giving the state she was in it was amazing that she was able to pick up that brick at all, but she really hit home. The man fell off me like a tree and I doubt he moved ever again.” Jace laughed helplessly. “I actually hope he never moved again. At least after that I really quit the drugs and went easy on the alcohol.”

“Oh Jace.” Alec murmured softly. “I’m so glad that girl knew how to handle that situation.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Magnus just wrapped his arms around both of his Shadowhunters, thinking how incredibly lucky all of them were to be here together now, coping with the trauma of their pasts together, loving each other despite or because of everything they had went through.

***

“Ready?” Alec was looking impatiently at his watch, bumping his foot up and down. “We will be late.”

“Ah, but I want to look good, first impression and so on. Too much glitter?” Magnus looked at Alec with a frown on his face.

“I learned there is no such thing as too much glitter.” Alec replied dryly.

“Valid point. I guess I am ready to go then.”

“Finally. But better brace yourself. She will not as easily forgive you as I did.”

“Hey, Lily is great.” Jace’s voice cut through the loft, he had slipped into a tight black leather jacket, looking fabulous as ever.

“In deed she is, but she is also your personal fighting dog. She might give him a hard time” Alec pointed out.

“And rightly so.” Jace beamed, before kissing Magnus. “But don’t worry she has become much softer since she is with Lara.”

Magnus just laughed, he was looking forward to meet Alec’s actual family properly, Izzy and Max, and Jace’s and Alec’s chosen family, Lily and Lara.

“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you.” Alec offered his hand and interlined their fingers, before he did the same with Jace’s. They quickly kissed each other before they stepped through the portal to the other side, where the others were already eagerly awaiting them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there,  
> So that’s it… the by far longest story I’ve ever written. Thanks to everyone who has followed this little journey and left kudos, special thanks to those who have supported me with their loving & motivating comments, you really made my days and kept me writing: you’re amazing!  
> I hope you liked the epilogue… it’s fluffy again but I’ve been told there is no such thing as too much fluff, so here we are.
> 
> PS: 1. For those who wondered: the best love declaration will forever be between Han Solo and Lea...  
>  2\. Corvolino means little raven


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